Stigma Maleficum / Marie and Louise Ambre-Aliona

Stigma Maleficum / Marie and Louise Ambre-Aliona

Stigma Maleficum — Marie and Louise Ambre-Aliona

by Pita and Radji

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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

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# 7   Posted: Aug 30 2019, 06:49 PM
I love how this turned out it is a professional quality and it's an interesting way to get Marie's magic back I'm curious to see how you implement that in future comics with her.

# 6   Posted: Aug 28 2019, 06:01 AM
I am blown away by the quality of this work. It really looks very professional and I can see it being a popular webcomic or printed comic. The art, the colors, the script are pretty well thought out. Well done both of you!

# 5   Posted: Aug 26 2019, 03:24 PM
ok small precision needed I see ^^
up until she lost her powers during the Magic Mayhem tournament, Marie was using norse runes to channel her magic... but her body now reject it, and the only magic that will work with her now is the one of her family line

# 4   Posted: Aug 26 2019, 02:40 PM
Wow, this is amazingly drawn professional level comic horror. With name dropping! And family problems ramped up to lethal levels! It's chilling, with its x-ray vision and physicality, the idea that this is what Marie wants but this is also deeply wrong,  but... I have to agree with Cydork I'm a little confused about the order of operations here.

# 3   Posted: Aug 24 2019, 11:07 AM
TheCydork: This ritual is a huge thing; I’m sure she has a lot of thoughts going through her head and conflicting emotions, and I’d like to have seen more of that.

This is something I struggle with as well,  and it's a difference between the American and European comics. Whereas Euro comics tend to be very light on narration, American comics are often written like a piece of prose. It's definitely a stylistic choice, but it may help when writing the comic to first write it as you would write a book, and then take those words and pair them with the images in the panels. This way, you force yourself, by describing the scene and the internalizations of the characters before having pictures to support them, to be more descriptive in your narration. This isn't something I've tried myself yet, just an idea, but a way of script writing I'll try in the future.

Some good examples of this style of writing (if not the writing method) that come to  mind are Todd McFarlane, Matt Wagner, and Neil Gaiman.

# 2   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 08:25 PM
Ok first of all, the art in this was amazing. When I clicked the first page I thought god damn, this is good. The colour, inks and even characters blend together so cohesively, I kept forgetting this was a collab. The story was written pretty tightly and flowed well, and I’ve never seen any of Marie before but I really like her attitude and now I’m probably going to read through her archive! Also for some individual thoughts: Pita, you set the mood so well with that eerie green lighting, and Radji, I love how you draw hands!

I do unfortunately have a pretty big gripe with this comic though and that’s lack of internal consistency. Radji, you set up rules for the magic but then don’t seem to follow them. For example, the Spider Queen says the only way female descendants could pass their powers down was by being injected in the womb, and the panel shows a growing foetus. So far so good. But Marie has already been born, and she doesn’t appear pregnant. If her mother didn’t do the ritual, how does she have powers at all? Why does Marie need to be injected in the womb when she’s not passing on the powers to a child? In the same panel, Spider Queen says the ONLY way is to inject blood, but then she says she was intimate with Eliphas and harvested some DNA. The mention of “intimacy” to me implies she has his sperm, not blood. So why does that give Marie her powers back?

Another thing I noticed while re-reading is that after Marie silently agrees to the ritual, she suddenly gets rather closed off to the audience? Earlier on, she’s pretty outspoken and we get to see her shock hearing what the Spider Queen wants. During the process however, we’re shown more of her pants being pulled down and her bare ass than her face. This ritual is a huge thing; I’m sure she has a lot of thoughts going through her head and conflicting emotions, and I’d like to have seen more of that.

Think Tank
# 1   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 06:39 PM
Story, sketches, and inks-- Radji
Color flats and story editing-- Pita

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 30th, 2019
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 487

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