Intro Story / Violet

Intro Story / Violet

Intro Story — Violet


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Critiques & Comments
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Rivana
Artist
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23 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 28 2019, 05:45 AM
Well done Chill! This is a great intro story. I love your linework and style. Not to mention the colors are absolutely gorgeous. The sunset lighting gave both a peaceful and haunting mood to the story. Violet is an intriguing character and I am curious how she is going to try to fit in with the rest of the world. So far, it seems that she is in Iain's  good hands judging from your 24 hr Battle

As for crits.

1. I agree that the first page , first panel could've used some sort of background to establish the space they are in. Was her father sending Violet to a school or an institution? To a friend's house? I am not sure.  And yeah the 2nd bubble "Violet" could've used a balloon tail :)

2. For the 3rd page, the transition from the streets to high up the abandoned building just seemed a bit jarring for me. I feel like it could use some tiny panels in the middle that showed Violet going (or flying) back to her nest.

Overall you've done amazing and I can't wait to see more!

      Edited Aug 28 2019,  05:47 AM by Rivana

Radji
Artist
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523 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 26 2019, 03:29 PM
well welcome to void, Homicidal bird lady.

Flutterbyes
Artist
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198 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 25 2019, 01:07 PM
Wow, this is haunting. I love how the colors intensify as the pages progress, and how that intensification makes the images more and more unsettling. This character, it seems, is doomed to be tragic. Will she wait forever?

The limited backgrounds work well enough, but the first panel of page 3 seems particularly weak to me. I'm also wondering if that lovely closeup on page 1 could have looked a little more like it was from the POV of a shorter character, or if it could have been placed slightly differently to maintain a bit of screen direction.

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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258 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 24 2019, 08:48 PM
Congrats on getting in, I already gave an indepth critique on your character approval and from what I saw from the wips you posted in your 24 hour battle you are already taking those critiques to heart so great job and I look forward to seeing your future comics with this character.

Petrichor
Artist
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10 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 12:15 PM
Whoa that's such a beautiful art style!
I love her character design and the way you color the pages.
Congrats on getting her in!

Flytee
Artist
icon
37 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 04:23 AM
Firstly I love this character- The design is really appealing and her backstories so mysterious. I'm looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
In terms of the comic the art was just a delight, your colouring has a real warmth to it and their were plenty of visually interesting panels here. Nothing felt stiff or "side scrolly." The last page was really jarring in a great way- showing Violet as a hunter and as a lonely girl, really got me interested in the character. I WANT MORE. so Yeah great job overall!!

Now onto some crit- The first page was the weakest of the 3 for me- some hint of a background would've been nice (or a hazy effect if you wanted to give the impression that she couldn't remember the location) The final panel on pg 1 was confusing.
At first I thought the mouth was Violets because it was in a similar position to her's in the previous panel- then, due to the text, I wondered if it was supposed to be her Dad talking. THEN I wondered why he wasn't smiling like the narration suggested. The panel could've done with more cohesion between the text and image.

I also have to echo the previous crits about herwings- I actually think the ones you did here were perfectly serviceable, but you could absolutely push yourself more with them, and draw something extremely dynamic in the future.




      Edited Aug 23 2019,  04:26 AM by Flytee

TheCydork
Artist
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27 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 01:00 AM
This was a really great intro!! I really like your line work and colouring, and even with Violet’s bare “nest” you managed to give it character (and insight) with the drawings on the wall and the lovely cracks. Your shading is also really nice but somewhat hit and miss? For example the father doesn’t have shading on him on the first page, while Violet does, which makes it look like the two change in size between panels as opposed to the angle and depth changing. Violet casts no shadow on the floor in the very last panel, even though there are shadows on her body.

Also, this isn’t too much of a problem but seeing as you’re probably going to be drawing wings a lot, I think you could benefit from more references. Your style is fairly true to life in terms of human anatomy, but not so with the wings, so it’s a tad off-looking to me. I don’t wanna write like a whole load of stuff about that tho bc this is your first comic and I don’t wanna put you off haha. Trust me it is REALLY GOOD, I found very little issue I just go a bit hard with critiquing! If you want tips though feel free to DM me, I’m a zoologist so I know a thing or two about drawing wings :)

Heavenbat
Artist
icon
48 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 12:18 AM
Yoooo this was a rad intro to Violet! I do wish we'd gotten a bit more of a look at her powers, maybe by showing her midway through transformation or something instead of jumping from wings to human arms, though. On the other hand, that last page is absolutely gorgeous!

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Ended: Aug 29th, 2019
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