24hr Match: Summer Cruisin' and Bruisin' Week II / David Birch vs. Veruca Chance

24hr Match: Summer Cruisin' and Bruisin' Week II / David Birch vs. Veruca Chance

24hr Match: Summer Cruisin' and Bruisin' Week II — David Birch vs. Veruca Chance

by Orion

336 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: 24hr comic, David Birch, uncle murphy

by Cab

417 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 8   Posted: Aug 22 2019, 02:50 AM
Ok so first off, A+ to both of you, I dunno how you managed three inked pages each in one day!!

Orion: Most of the other commenters said what I thought - great first page, but try to be a little neater.

Cab: It's amazing how you manage such long, detailed pages so quickly! Your speed is something I aspire to. However, I feel like your detail is a double-edged sword. You add so much detailing in textures and backgrounds that individual components start to get lost. Maybe my eyes are just weak, but I find it difficult to read your comics because the characters just blend into the background, making everything look cluttered and flat. Besides closeups, you don't really vary line thickness, and the colour is always the same stark black. I think colour would help a lot, but since black and white lines seem to be your preference with selective colour - give small details (like clothing folds), background details, etc thinner lines, or make them a lighter grey. And maybe be more selective with your details.

Community Manager
# 7   Posted: Aug 19 2019, 06:46 PM
Orion: good job for this one day battle. I like the splash pages you are doing with challenging angles and some backgrounds, good job on those. Also this was a cute little interaction for that.

Cab: You are a content creation machine and you always manage to pull out such amazing stuff in 24 hours. Good job dude and it's awesome to see how much stuff you make.

# 6   Posted: Aug 19 2019, 08:23 AM
Orion: That's a solid full gag, the underage child finally getting into the club and then finding out it's for squares. I don't know where the idea for sphinx bouncer came from, but I like it.

Cab: Gosh darn it, Cab, you are a comic beast. Please tell me you at least had thought of the script a little bit beforehand. You even designed the new Void mascots: Mole people.

# 5   Posted: Aug 19 2019, 01:51 AM
Orion: That car in the first panel is sUPER RAD, LIKE. Great job on that!! And for a 24 hour comic it was a real good effort! I'm willing to forgive a lot of things because of the short time frame, but for me I think the thing you need to really focus on for things like this is making sure your lettering is real good, especially if you're going to be hand-lettering things. Your V's look a bit like U's which can get confusing, and I keep misreading that last panel as saying "Co Thehustle"--it actually took me a few readings to realize what it actually said, haha.

Cab: Man, I don't know how the heck you do this. Are you an art machine?? Cuz this is an absolutely insane amount of work for one day. I think my only real critique is that, for me, I felt like the gag of the molemen went on a bit too long to where it kind of felt like it interrupted the flow of the rest of the comic. Maybe just a couple less lines from them would've helped? Either way, congrats as always my dude! you're a beast.

# 4   Posted: Aug 18 2019, 12:28 PM
Impressive and fun comic read on both sides! I can't believe you guys were able to pull it off in just 24 hours. Cab of course had to go the extra mile (as in literally another extra mile on the comic) and I gotta commend him for that. Wow! The quality and art is superb as well. I am still dumbfounded on how you do it.

# 3   Posted: Aug 17 2019, 05:31 AM
Orion: Fun but a little on the sloppy side. Sketchy is ok, but your panels and line work is all over the place. Im sure timewas the major factor here but I personally would have rather seen a few pages with some polish vrs a full comic that looked a little rushed.

Cab; I aggress with Heathen, thats a fricken lot of good work in a one day battle. Great line work and panel layout. Im going to have to go back and look at some of your older comics cause I to am a fan of your kinda' Archie and Jughead' style. Its ver serial comics, like the ones I used to read in the newspaper. I deff dig it.

# 2   Posted: Aug 17 2019, 12:25 AM
Orion: A fun scene, but totally nonsequitor. You've sort of sacrificed characterization for the sake of a gag.

Cab: You're quickly becoming one of my favorite artists around here,  I really like your style. A good colorist could work wonders with your line work. I just love this comic. The pacing and writing are snappy,  the characters distinct and full of personality, the mole men are great. The one thing I found odd was your placement of Veruca's balloon in the last panel of page 2. Why'd you cover her ass, which I can tell you drew wonderfully, when there's a perfectly good empty space to the left of her head? Never cover a character with a balloon if you can help it.

Edit: oh shoot, I forgot this was all done in 24 hours!

Orion: this is about what I expect from a 24 hour battle. It's still kind of rough,  but you did a full, clearly readable comic in less that a day. Nice job! Get some whiteout for those lettering mistakes.

Cab: This comic becomes insane when you take the deadline into account.  You'll have to share your workflow, I'd love to see some process stuff from you sometime.

# 1   Posted: Aug 16 2019, 12:10 PM
Holy malted milk balls! That's a lot of comic!

Thanks a ton for taking my challenge Cab on such sort notice. You turned out some stellar work in such a short time and I loved all of it( you used Uncle Murphy in a comic! No one ever does that! :D) The mole people being right sticks in mud grating on David's good will is very characterful so I could not think of a greater foil for him and having a reality check from Vercua was a great moment.

You are tearing a path and looks like winning Invites won't slow you down! Thanks agian Cab!

Comic Details -

Type: Sparring Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 21st, 2019
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 577

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