Elijah (Eli) Mikhailov vs. Talon

Elijah (Eli) Mikhailov vs. Talon

Elijah (Eli) Mikhailov vs. Talon

44%
329 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Badger

56%
418 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques



Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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258 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 24 2019, 08:07 PM
Buggy: You're lines are very clean and I do like your story you have hear. To reiterate what others have said I do think you should work on including more backgrounds in this, for backgrounds i would recommend trying to just put in more stuff and worry a bit less about the quality of the individual elements since when you have more elements that all align right it will look much better even if the individual parts of the bacgrkound may not be perfect. I would also like to see you experiment with line witdh more and maybe adding some spot blacks in.

Badger: This is fantastic, you have hit a great comic stride. page 3 is my favorite i love the layout you did here. I also really enjoy your general color choices as they are fantastic. Also i want to say your backgrounds are all really good. I don't have any critiques, great job on this comic.

angrychill
Artist
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2 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 23 2019, 05:23 AM
Buggy - im not much for commenting or voting myself, so i feel like im kinda parroting the others at this point haha. however, your clean and thin likes really are something to be admired! they look extremely neat and tidy as well which makes everything so much easier for later (e.g. if youre going to colour later, or just for selecting segments). however, due to the thin lineart itself, because there's no colour or grayscale in the comic it makes the pages seem really bare and void of impact in a way. maybe try alternating your line weight a bit more to make certain parts pop out, or to not make the panels look so empty!
besides that, your character interactions are really cool and the conversations flow nicely; i can tell who's talking without looking at the arrows!

Badger - i dont even know where to start -- the setting of your comic, your amazing speech bubbles, the really nice colouring and shading? the way you draw expressions is truly pleasing to the eye and its really easy to read the characters. theyre so /expressive/!! and the colors - oh gosh. i love it!!

Rivana
Artist
icon
23 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 09:13 PM
Buggy: I love your clean lines. I agree, though that some panels could use a bit more detail. Maybe , if the time allows, do some shading as well. I had no idea it was daytime until Talon mentioned it in Page 3. When I saw cemetery, my mind immediately went to nighttime ^_^

Badger: Excellent art and colors. I love the transition from cool to warm tones to denote a change in venue (and atmosphere). The expressions were on point. I do agree with Heavenbat that Eli could look a bit more gaunt.  

Both of you managed to portray very likeable characters. Talon and Eli seems like they could really use a friend like each other. :) Excellent work.

Heavenbat
Artist
icon
48 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 04:00 PM
Buggy: Gotta agree with the others, the bgs could use a bit more detail (I say, knowing I have the same problem lol). I did really enjoy the bgs you did do, and I loved this interaction between Eli and Talon!! Especially the scar interaction, poor innocent bab. I also think you could've done something a bit different for the... prayer, I think it was? Maybe make the text a bit more faded or something to imply distance, and also make it seem a bit less important. As is, the reader's gonna try to actually read what it says, even though I don't think it's meant to be read really? Also, great job on that squatting pose, that's a hard one to pull off. And I love how you did the dark circles under Eli's eyes!!

Badger: God your comics are so tastyyyyyy. I love the colors and I love the way you do the magic and the expressions are great..... the only thing I can really find to critique is that I feel like you could've made Eli look a bit more gaunt? as is he looks a bit too healthy to really read as a proper ghoul.... but that's honestly a very minor nitpick lol.

Heathen
Artist
icon
315 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 09:14 AM
Cydork and Flytee had some great critiques. Buggy, this comic is lacking in a lot of places, but there's lots of potential here. Good word balloons and font. I would have hand lettered the Latin evocation and used it to draw the reader along with Talon into the graveyard. The ellipse tool balloons and clean font all look very bland on top of the mostly empty panels. Your dialog font is good, but you could maybe compact it just a bit, and give it a little more space in the balloons, which I would also practice hand drawing.

Badger, wonderful colors and character acting here. I might have liked to see a bit more immediate stakes, maybe a security guard or morgue worker whom Eli does harm, something to lend a bit more gravity to the scene, but otherwise, great comic.

Flytee
Artist
icon
37 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 12:47 AM
buggy- This was an enjoyable read! I have to echo cy's comments about Eli's dialogue, the awkward formality works really well. Your chosen font and speech bubble layout were also pretty damn professional-looking (TEACH ME). Story-wise, it was simple, but It worked as a good extended introduction to Eli, clearly showing his goals and personality. Your linework is competent and clean, with some moments of really nice movement (panel 5 pg 5 sticks out in particular)

crit wise- because your comics are purely line art (with the odd dash of colour) the lack of backgrounds on certain panels is really destracting. I know a lot of comics have establishing shots and then hints of background (due to time constraints) so maybe study how they pull this off without panels looking empty? simply using patterns or having a tonal colouring can help fill the void.
Small crit I noticed- panel 2 pg 4 I think you bucket filled the shadow on Talons face, I can just faintly see little white specks that you haven't filled in. Maybe something to be mindful off in the future.

Badger- This was wonderful. Art-wise, I'm always impressed by what you do and I have to try to not gush too much. But you've basically nailed everything I look for in a comic- the characters are full of personality, their expressive and feel real. Your backgrounds are a part of the story and I just love that. The fact Talons home is messy and there are dead plants (poor bby's) shows a lot about him. The dialogue between the too felt natural, and by the end I genuinely felt so happy and relieved Eli and Talons paths crossed. (I'm sure this could potentitally change **eyes up Garland**)

 

      Edited Aug 21 2019,  12:49 AM by Flytee

TheCydork
Artist
icon
27 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 20 2019, 10:58 PM
I love how both of you went with similar bittersweet storylines, I live for this kind of stuff >:3

Buggy: I like how you did Eli’s dialogue! It was very subtle, but I could tell English wasn’t his first language. I also like his comment about Talon’s scars, it’s just sweet idk.

Onto critique, a lot of the panels look very empty. I’m guessing you ran out of time but I’d suggest drawing at least a line for the ground or some rough shapes in the bg next time. Another thing is that your expressions are pretty stiff. It feels like everyone has the same slightly open mouth neutral expression in every panel except one or two. I have a difficult time with mouths too, but making the eyebrows and eye shape more mobile would help a lot even if the mouth stays the same.

Badger: Wow. I really loved this, I have no critique from the technical sense at all, it was just *chef kiss* Especially love how you show not just great facial expressions but whole body ones.

HOWEVER I’m not sure what Talon actually did to Eli. Did he take control of him and walk him back home? Or just.. knock him out... with necromancy? And carry him? Also this is a minor thing I only noticed on my third read, but the bag of remains just kinda disappears on the last page - Talon gives Eli the bag, he clutches it and smiles, then hugs Talon but the bag isn’t in his hands anymore.

Cab
Artist
icon
16 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 18 2019, 04:41 PM
wow, both of these comics had tons of heart and great character moments, the stuff I love, you both did great its so hard to vote, you two are awesome storytellers with great characters, I love them all.

Rivana
Artist
icon
23 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 4 2019, 08:21 AM
OMG this is happening!! Can't wait!

JCee
Artist
icon
366 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 4 2019, 06:39 AM
HYPED!!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 24th, 2019
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 395
Winner: Badger
 

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