Rae and Blue vs. Dairyu

Rae and Blue vs. Dairyu

Rae and Blue vs. Dairyu

by Flytee

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Crit level: No preference

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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: dairyu, rae and blue, scar match

Critiques & Comments
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# 5   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 02:54 PM
Flytee: God, o nce again you've put out an amazing comic! At the risk of sounding a little repetitive, I love your colors and tones. And man, what a good story. Such intrigue!! honestly, for a moment I got so engrossed in the comic I forgot which one was even your characters, it felt so cohesive. And what a cool scar!! I think my only real critique is that maybe you could add a bit more white to the introspection bubbles, it sometimes got a bit difficult to differentiate the text from the lineart in areas where the narration bubbles weren't opaque enough.

Snowy: I love your lineart, it's so gorgeous!and that's such a cool monster design :0 I think my biggest critique is that the pacing feels a bit off? It took me a couple of readthroughs to figure out what was going on, and... I get the feeling there's supposed to be more suspense, but it just isn't there. Not sure why but it just felt like there was no real sense of urgency or danger. I also kind of wish we'd been given more of an explanation on why the creature was chasing Rae and Blue. That said I do love that you chose to scar the ghost! That looks like a real cool scar too :D

# 4   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 08:49 AM
Cydork pretty much said it. I really enjoyed your comic, Flytee. Very strong showing. Snowymoth, yours had some pacing and clarity issues, but some very fun things going on in the layouts and art. 6.1 was my favorite as well, and you clearly had a lot of fun drawing that monster.

# 3   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 12:32 AM
Flytee: Really enjoyed how you organised the story and your use of colour, plus your style is charming as always!

My only quip is that the scene on page 12 with Blue, Dairyu and her kami form deserved its own page in my opinion!! Also I think keeping it in the dark alley would have made it more dramatic and given a sense of scale of the kami form.

Snowy: Your lines are gorgeous, I loved the monster design and the way you used the top panels on page 6 to indicate slashing were so clever!

I feel your half was pretty hard to follow though, I think due to a combination of the unfortunately similar hairstyles between characters, lack of colour and speech bubble placement. For example, on page 5 I kept wondering why Rae was asking for takoyaki, since the speech bubble is closer to her head than Dairyu’s.

The introduction of Hanako also threw me off - she’s new, some panels focus on her closely as if she’s important to the story, and the last panel on page 3 almost reads as sinister, yet she’s not seen after that page. I’m assuming she was just meant to be a friend chatting with Dairyu to set the scene?

# 2   Posted: Aug 18 2019, 11:42 PM
Just uploaded! I wish I had just a bit more time to finish up some details, but I'm good with what I got done. Thanks so much for the match, I can't wait to see yours. ( :

# 1   Posted: Aug 14 2019, 02:40 PM
I had to upload really early because I'm away now until Monday.
This is a rather open-ended scar match, I will be doing a beyond battle in the future to continue the story. I feel pretty ok about what I submitted, I'm just pleased I got it finished. :V

Can't wait to see your side Snowy!

Comic Details -

Type: Scar Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
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Votes Cast: 9
Page Views: 213

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