Intro Story / Veruca Chance

Intro Story / Veruca Chance

Intro Story — Veruca Chance

by Cab

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Critiques & Comments
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Happy August 18th! -Reecer6
# 6   Posted: Jul 29 2019, 11:18 PM
dang, this intro comic is so long that you have to accompany it with the *full version* of Dirty Little Secret, not just an edited down one.

it's looking super good and i can't wait to see more!! i can tell you're magnetized to telling big magnificent plots where things happen constantly, which is not my usual pace, but you're so dang eager and have a RIDIC output speed so i gotta keep my eyes out

# 5   Posted: Jul 29 2019, 11:16 PM
nice intro!  Your solid storytelling and clean lineart make this a pleasant read. She looks hot, gets into funny situations, looks like she's gonna lead to some great battles!

# 4   Posted: Jul 29 2019, 01:54 PM
Well since my last comment got deleted thanks to the site's hiccup, all I'll put here is that I'm hyped to see what u do with this girl :D I'm a sucker for Buffy type characters so this should be rad hehe

# 3   Posted: Jul 28 2019, 05:49 PM
This is a really well written and paced intro. I felt like I was watching the intro episode of a show.

Your lineart is really solid, but I still can't help feeling some panels look a little busy due to line weight and general lack of fills, but at other times you do a fantastic job of directing the eye.

Approval Committee
# 2   Posted: Jul 25 2019, 08:28 PM
Your art is amazing and the amount of content you can produce so quickly always amazes me. Great job on introducing this character but I do feel there was a bit too more over exposition when just showing could worked. I mainly have issue with the first page and Veruca's exposition dump because it feels at odds with how she acts throughout the rest of the comic, there are other ways you could have convayed this information while being more in Veruca's character. Like one way would have been her just walking down the hall on her phone with the background telling us all this information about the school, the "go cocks" and even maybe a club door that has a prominent "VERUCA BANNED!". You're backgrounds and art are so good you should rely on it more to tell us about elements of the story without explicit stating them. The intro comic doesn't need to tell us everything about the character you can save some of that stuff for future comics and put in the bio.
All that being said the squires exposition doesn't have this issue because it seems like that would be his character. Also the classes reaction to seeing a robin and dragon makes me think this is the conservative human first school of void, which is an entertaining thought. I look forward to seeing her knight training and becoming a knight.

# 1   Posted: Jul 23 2019, 08:49 AM
that was a fantastic introduction! It did everything it needed to, I finished it feeling invested in the story and character :D
There's a lot to love about your art, but the facial expressions are the highlight for me.
The only crit I have could be classed as a "nitpick" so feel free to disregard. But Veruca looks rather mature for a high school student, in certain panels, I found it kinda distracting.

Comic Details -

Ended: Jul 29th, 2019
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 187

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