Rumble Roulette / Discharge vs. David Birch

Rumble Roulette / Discharge vs. David Birch

Rumble Roulette — Discharge vs. David Birch

by Pockets

100%
221 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Orion

0%
0 points
No images have been uploaded.

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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240 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 13 2019, 12:05 AM
pockets: I really like your general face structure for the characters in this and in general there's something about the line art for your characters I find appealing and i do like how you're challenging yourself with them. I would recommend having someone double check your dialogue and bubbles once you have them in to help avoid grammatical errors.

To expand upon others crit. I would recommend looking up more reference for your backgrounds, one thing i have found to help is try to find specific levels in video games or scenes in movies that have similar backgrounds to the setting you have in your comic. If you don't know any you can try to look up something like "10 top _____ levels in games" or "top 10 scenes in ______" looking up those things on you tube will generally get you some videos with recommendations for specific movies or games to look up for reference. There are also some expressions I think you can exaggerate a bit more along with the body language. Good job with what you have.

Orion:  I look forward to seeing any beyond battle you may do with this as well as the 24 hour comic challenges you have been doing.

Heavenbat
Artist
icon
36 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 10 2019, 11:18 PM
Pockets: As Flytee said, you've got some really cool dynamic poses and shots! For me I was really distracted by the typos and grammatical errors, which kind of threw me out of the story. Looking over your dialogue a couple more times would help massively, I think. That being said, I absolutely LOVE the lightning effect you used!! It looks super rad :D

Flytee
Artist
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28 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 8 2019, 04:30 AM
Nice comic Pockets- I liked the general story, it was straight forward and you wrapped everything up rather nicely. Art wise you clearly made an effort to draw dynamic poses and captures scenes from challenging angles. Whilst not always technically effective, they certainly kept things visually interesting. You clearly push yourself as an artist when it comes to drawing people, I really admire that!

Crit wise- your backgrounds need a lot more love. If you're struggling to think of ways to fill the void, maybe research similar locations and get ideas for details? And keep in mind even if you want a location to be stark and empty, it still needs texture and something to ground the reader.
I also wasn't a fan of the first page, I'm sure you've herd the term "show don't tell" that very much applies here.

Orion
Artist
icon
198 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 6 2019, 11:02 PM
Well, it seems despite extension and all my best effort I can say I have come up empty handed on this battle. :(

A combination of overestimating my time commitments, changing circumstance, work imploding, and computer crashing days before deadline has left me with nothing to show except a script and no pages to show.

 I would like to apologize to my opponent Pockets who put so much time and effort into their side with nothing for me to show in return.

I hope in future to finish what I started with this comic and hopefully the script I created may yet bare fruit. For now I have only only but to feel regret and hope to regroup and do better next time.

I am sorry.

      Edited Aug 6 2019,  11:03 PM by Orion

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 14th, 2019
Votes Cast: 13
Page Views: 206
Winner: Pockets
 

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