Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 3 / MalByte vs. Kit and Jade

Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 3 / MalByte vs. Kit and Jade

Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 3 — MalByte vs. Kit and Jade

400 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Brabbit

436 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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Community Manager
# 2   Posted: Jul 13 2019, 03:22 PM
KatsuraKy: First page is lookin' fly but yeah it become clear you didn't have the chance to finish this one, so I won't talk too much about it but I will say I think there's a better color palette to use for word balloons if you *really* want to go that route (I don't think it did much to benefit the story in this instance, but I do did the shapes you use)

Brabbit: The confidence of your pencils is appreciated, even with objects you don't have alot of experience with like vehicles it keeps your shortcomings from being distracting. Visually the comic feels very passive from beginning to end though, what I mean is that there is much dynamism in the variety of shots used; almost all of Kit and Jade's panels consist of head to waist shots of them standing or passively walking and their body language isn't as animated as their faces, and as our protagonists it sets up a too-chill atmosphere where the stakes don't feel high even when their have  a gun pointed at them. There's a character observation that I didn't quite understand: How our boi could tell that the woman on her phone was lonely from a passing glance where we don't really even see her face, and her body language doesn't really showcase it. Moments like these are the ones where you want to really follow your "show don't tell" senses so that the characters don't have to tell us how we're supposed to feel about what we're watching.

Good job making it this far both of you, can't wait to see more!

Global Moderator
# 1   Posted: Jul 13 2019, 02:27 PM
Katsura: I love the background you did for the first page and really want to see more surreal landscapes skys like that in future comics. I also like the action you started having on this comic. I would like to see a BB completed version with the full thing cause this is a great start to it. Story wise I also like how your character shows no hesitation at shooting at some kids.

Brabbit: I know you mentioned you have been struggling with this but what you can do in one week is fantastic and you should be proud of it. your character expressions are great and I like how your keep building up on this story with the important of the book.
I do think you can be more economic with your pages and that you stick to only 3 panels to a page a bit too much. Like pages 2 and 3 would have more impact as it feels like the page cut off is in the middle of a conversation. The main ways you have to tell the passage of time is the the gutters between panels and page breaks. The time between a page break should be longer than the time between panels. Also when you have page breaks you want it to be at the parts that will make the reader want to immediately know what's going to happen next, which can't always happen even in the dull parts of the story but the page break on page 3 has a stronger impact than the one on page 2
Conveying time in comics is super hard and something you only learn through practice. Since you mentioned struggling and not being able to put as much story you want in I think you should push for more panels per page. You have 5 pages with only 3 panels and the most you have on a page is 6. I think for your next comic you may want to try going for a  5 panel average per page and an upper limit of 8 panels (or more if the moment calls for a lot of small ones). This will make layouts take more time but I think you can get more story in a comic with more panels per page.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 17th, 2019
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 402
Winner: Brabbit

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