Intro Story / Rae and Blue

Intro Story / Rae and Blue

Intro Story — Rae and Blue

by Flytee


75%
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

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Critiques & Comments
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Flytee
Artist
71 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 7 2019, 05:36 AM


TheCydork: Most people have already said what I thought, ahah ^^" I like this style of thick, crayon-y lines, and I wouldn't say the speech bubbles were crowded per se but they definitely felt haphazard and kinda squished in at the last minute. I'm a little confused about the second page though... Blue says "that showed her", I'm guessing about the cat lady, but what showed her? Did Blue do something offscreen to the cat?
Quote

THANK YOU FOR THE FEEDBACK! :3
The "that showed her" comment was referring to Rae being really snarky and unwavering to the cat lady on the previous page.  

TheCydork
Artist
75 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 6 2019, 11:33 PM
Most people have already said what I thought, ahah ^^" I like this style of thick, crayon-y lines, and I wouldn't say the speech bubbles were crowded per se but they definitely felt haphazard and kinda squished in at the last minute. I'm a little confused about the second page though... Blue says "that showed her", I'm guessing about the cat lady, but what showed her? Did Blue do something offscreen to the cat?

Flytee
Artist
71 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 3 2019, 11:44 PM
Thanks, everyone for the crit!

speech bubbles are something I kinda struggle with, my main focus is to make the text as eligible as possible, which seems to cause me to make everything faaar to big. (Something I actually didn't notice until reading crits and reading my comic again)
I'll try better with it next time!

@Badge THANK YOU (also I would absolutely be down for fighting Talon one day, I love your comics)

@Crocostyle thanks for the feedback! I really enjoy doing digital work in a more painterly way, so I appreciate the kind words about it :) The jitters weren't a style choice, I'll work on being smoother in the future.

@arts thats a good tip about using another void comic as a bubble guide. cheers :3

Badger
Artist
33 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 3 2019, 02:51 PM
I love these characters!! I agree that the speech bubbles are a bit crowded, be sure to lay them out early on when thumbnailing so that they have enough breathing room! Although i do really like the colors of the speech bubbles, how the style of them communicates who is speaking, it works very well! You have a very nice style and I look forward to seeing more! fight me sometime hehehe

Crocostyle
Artist
44 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 1 2019, 03:28 PM
I really like the style.  It's got that vibe I've seen in many recent graphic novels, textured lines, characters with simple eye-catching designs with rich hand-painted textures.  Really great idea with the colors too!  I agree with arts on the crowded bubbles.  The great thing about digital is you don't worry about conserving space as much so you're free to make larger panels whenever you need.

I'll also say keep practicing your lines to make steadier strokes. Even jitters are part of the 'style' I think smoother strokes overall will make it better (like in page 3).  Overall though your stuff is amazing, and i look forward to future comics!

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
299 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 11:10 PM
Congrats on getting them in. I love green and the fact you stuck to a greenscale is really cool. I also like the lines you use for cheek and hair texture they really add to your style. My main crit is to better plan out your dialogue bubbles, i would recommend plotting the bubbles during sketches. Also one way you can practice seeing how much words will take up in a panel is find a comic on void you like, copy a page from it and scale it up to your work size to see how much the word bubbles take up and try to use that as a little bit of a guide. Welcome and good luck with your comics

Comic Details -

 
Ended: Jul 7th, 2019
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 394
 

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