Halloween Is Every Month If You Try Hard Enough / Dahiris vs. Talon

Halloween Is Every Month If You Try Hard Enough / Dahiris vs. Talon

Halloween Is Every Month If You Try Hard Enough — Dahiris vs. Talon

52.2%
443 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

by Badger

47.8%
406 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques



Critiques & Comments
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Happy September 14th! -Reecer6
Artist
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260 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 26 2019, 08:20 PM
i promised i'd critique this eventually and SO I HAVE

astro: you know i love this but i still gotta say i LOVE THIS!!! god your monster stuff is SO GOOD and all the sweet GORE and PULSATING RED BITS and also that SICK TRANSFORMATION ASTRO YOU DRAW SO MANY GOOD THINGS!!! you've also got a lot of good backgrounds in this. i feel like you adapt your linework a little when you're working with them but it's still cohesive, and it looks great! i know i've mentioned before that your plots can be a bit confusing but this one's great, it is explained perfectly well, and leaves a lot of good threads!!! i wanna see why this monster was lying latent in a graveyard, and what monty might do now that he has been UNLEASHED, AND WHAT'S UP WITH BRUHMA?? ?? good thing you haven't done any more comics of them yet or i'd be super spoiled!! one nitpick: feel like the bubbles for transmitted speech e.g. with garland don't really express that as much as they could. easy to miss, i guess. i'd suggest changing their color, or making the dotted line... spikier?? REGARDLESS excellent stuff keep drawing hearts hearts hearts

badger: this was a good comic, but please allow me to say it's not your best comic. the pacing is a little fast, although i guess that might meant to demonstrate bruhma's straightforward obstinance, but it also made me go "wow this comic is already over? feels like it just started." i don't feel like your own character even really was part of it much, he was just there to be shot and then leave. and you betray the whole reveal in the dramatis personae! of course the person whose only quality is "does not think they can be necromanced" meeting a necromancer is going to get necromanced! i don't know if that information could've been integrated very well within the comic, but saying it in plain text is a bit transparent. like, the comic definitely works, but i feel it's a bit spartan, all things considered. nice trees tho!

now i can finally delete this tab on my browser

      Edited Aug 26 2019,  08:20 PM by Happy September 14th! -Reecer6

Astrodile
Artist
icon
100 comments
# 11   Posted: Jul 10 2019, 12:21 AM
Hey y'all, thank so much for the crits! I'm not really gonna explain any parts that were confusing /justify myself, but rather take them as notes to focus/consider upon in the future. But if anything, I can clarify that yes that last character was definitely Talon. Thank you all for reading, if there's anymore crits to provide PLEASE send em' my way because I'm always eager to hear, and most of all: Thanks so much to Badger for letting me battle you!

I loved your side so much, your visuals are always killer and I truly enjoyed having this chance to battle you. I'm just a big fan of your linework and color design-- The effects you used here as well were just as much delicious. I know I've said it time and time again but-- I would really love to collab with you one day!!! <3

BuggyPumpkin
Artist
icon
6 comments
# 10   Posted: Jul 8 2019, 09:44 PM
These were amazing!!! Both of you have gorgeous inks and colors and your stories both flow incredibly well and are fairly easy to follow.

Astro: Holy jeezum that ending is so sinister and cool!! I do agree with some of the points made before about it being a little unclear about whether or not the character at the end was Talon (we can sort of tell through context clues but it’s still a little confusing) and the part right before the demon summon is a little confusing. But those are super nitpicky in an overall amazing comic!!

Badger: Your inks and your composition and your colors never cease to blow me away!! I do also wish there was just one more page either reconnecting to the witch hunters or about with Bruhma to just sort of have the story come full circle and feel truly completed. However, that being said the cliffhanger is leaving me dying for more, so I guess it’s whatever your intention was. Overall it was a really good comic!!

Great job you two!!!

Protect Bruhma and Talon 2k19

Shen
Global Moderator
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1278 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 8 2019, 09:28 PM
Firstly, both of you: daaaamn these were so good and these characters are amazing and SUCH JUICY COLOURS! Also: Monty gets so little respect lmao

Astro: GOD your monsters are some of the coolest stuff on the site and your GORE! so horrific, you didn't hold back an inch not even with your own character! Poor Bruhma! The biggest crit is sometimes I have no idea who is saying what. word bubbles without arrows and having to figure things out from context, it could be a tad distracting. Also I'm not sure where the demon came from- did it just show up? Did Talon summon it? How could he do that if he didnt get to finish the incantation? But thats okay because it was still mega awesome, im just being nitpicky now. excellent drama, pacing composition, excellent comic!

Badger: TALON'S  PONYTAIL IS GOOD AND IMPORTANT. I feel so bad for this child, things just get worse and woirse for him. Bruhma looked like SUCH a badass here, i loved the shoot-first-questions-later. My biggest crit is this felt a page short. I would have liked some kind of epilogue. Where did Talon go to get that wound looked at? Does bruhma try to follow him or just go home? The ending was too abrupt. fantastic action and expressions!

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
icon
252 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 5 2019, 09:01 PM
Astro: Yay thank you for the Garland cameo in this, This was an awesome comic. I love your backgrounds and the overall story is great. My favorite part is the ending with Monty unable to keep his cool and upset with the entire situation. Also your layouts for the whole reveal of the monster are amazing, in general your layouts have gotten to be really top notch.
My main crits are some clarity things On page 5 the two word bubbles without arrows are said by two different characters which causes some confusion since the reader will assume if the bubbles lack arrows they are being said by the same person, without clear differences in bubbles like colors/fonts or shapes the reader will have to pause for a moment becuase they will still think it's the previous character saying the next bubble and be confused for a moment. Also i'm not sure if the person Monty talks with at the morgue is Talon in a new outfit or a different person, his build is similar to talon's as well as hairstyle. the colors are different but your colors change a bunch so a change in colors isn't enough to differentiate them from Talon if they are not Talon (that being said your colors are amazing).

Badger:  This is the quickest 11 pages I have read in recent memory and I really like it, it gives a sense of a sudden violent interaction which feels fitting for Void. Also the way you characterized Bruhma is really good, the whole comic feels like a scene from no country for old men, with just sudden violence that ends just as quickly as it started and Bruhma feels like Anton Chigur in this sequence.
In terms of art your colors are great and your nature backgrounds are fantastic. I love all the details you put in your tress and how filled up the pages. also the effects you used for bruhma stuck under the spell was awesome. My only crit would be I want to see you tackle interior backgrounds the same way you do natural ones.

Overall both of these are great comics good job both of you.

Mokachahan
Artist
icon
13 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 4 2019, 11:32 AM
Hoooooly crap, this was so amazing to read!  I have been blessed! They're all so cool! The colors, the action, the characters, the lines, aaaaaaah, it was all amazing! I was reading with my jaw dropped in awe the whole time!

Hellis
Artist
icon
210 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 4 2019, 01:20 AM
Astro: Uh, Astro, this was so good. Prolly one of my favorite stories of yours on the site. In past comics, my main gripe with your writing is that its been without a proper sense of focus and often lacking in a way to round it off into a complete mini arc. None of that here! Solid set up, great middle, perfect hook for a ending!

Artwise, your stuff is as gorgous as always. My one gripe is that the part where Bruhma is being chased. His greens are much flatter then everything else.

Badger: Your art is so clean and pleasing to look at. I really enjoyed it, even if I kinda wished we had a page or 2 more, to expand on their meeting a tad.

Flytee
Artist
icon
37 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 4 2019, 12:52 AM
ASTRO-
-I really enjoyed your backgrounds, you don't labor over them, but instead focus on the colours and creating an atmosphere. It's really effective.
-The monsters design was geniunely intimidating, I WAS SPOOKED. The werewolf transformation also had me wincing, it was so grim, I loved it.
-That ending has me intrigued.

If I could crit anything it would be the monsters death (banishment?)
There was a lot of tension and action building up to the creature being lead into the circle, I couldn't help but think a wider establishing shot of it being destroyed/ an empty circle remaining would've been really satifying.


BADGER-
- This was lovely to read, everything flowed really nicely. (pg 7 and 8 stand out) I also enjoyed your rendition of Astros characters (i particularly liked the emphasis on Dahiris's glasses.)
- The choice to make everything blue on Page 10, having Talons powers completely take over the scene really highlighted how powerless Dahiris was. I dig it.
-The undead/ necromancer dynamic was played up a bit here. This felt like an interesting introduction to what could be REALLY interesting rivalry. Like Astro's comic this ending had be intrigued too, but for completely different reasons.

I'm struggling to think of crit! I suppose I would've loved to see more of Dahiris's confusion/ frustration over being controlled, particularly on the last page. Its quite hard to read how he is feeling after such a messed up experience.

Both of these comics were SO GOOD. its going to be really diffcult to vote.



      Edited Jul 4 2019,  12:57 AM by Flytee

TheCydork
Artist
icon
27 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 3 2019, 01:21 AM
Oh my god these were both so good and so much fun to read >80 Gonna post critiques when I have the time!

kubo
Artist
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57 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 22 2019, 03:27 PM
YEAH! YOU BOTH CAN DO THIS!!! NECROMANCER VS UNDEAD! This is going to be so good!

Astrodile
Artist
icon
100 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 19 2019, 01:14 PM
Extended the deadline! Reason: I have a math class now and it's a lot more then I expected, I don't wanna sacrifice the quality of my comic for my education and in that same sense sacrifice my education for the sake of a comic. Gonna try and balance things out with a longer deadline-- Hope y'all don't mind!

Astrodile
Artist
icon
100 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 02:35 PM
i peeded and i shidded and i fardded

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jul 9th, 2019
Votes Cast: 17
Page Views: 771
Winner: Astrodile
 

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