Hara and Huey vs. Harlow Ironlocke

Hara and Huey vs. Harlow Ironlocke

Hara and Huey vs. Harlow Ironlocke

by Hellis

48.3%
532 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

51.7%
569 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference
tags: hara and huey, harlow ironlocke, m3w, rem bullets



Critiques & Comments
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ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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243 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 08:48 PM
Thanks for all the crits it's relaly good to know when i get stuff working.

Hellis: you gave Harlow a mech, thank you for that. It's great you are finding your own way to draw anthros since you mentioned having trouble with it before and the way you drew Harlow with goggles was great. I also like the summary page you put at the start of the comic. I look forward to seeing the terrible stuff you have Hara put Harlow through.

Hellis
Artist
icon
210 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 03:54 PM
THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE CRITS.

I cant stress how much it helps me steer my art. Sometimes my ego/confidence wrecks me, and I second guess what I do and the opinions of others. but in the end, I am here for criticism and growth. So please, never be afraid to comment on my stuff <3. I wont adress any specific comments, just know I read and took notes from each of them.

Arts: my dude, you out wrote me hard. I feel like I didnt feature/write harlow in a intervowen enough way while you made Hara hella menacing despite him missing from most of it. Gnarly. And I will happily build upon your comics ending with you!  

Heavenbat
Artist
icon
36 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 12:07 AM
Hellis: I LOVE that first page so much, like damn. The stylized smoke, the setup, the dramatic lighting.... it's all Very Good. :D I think my biggest critique is the fact that most of Harlow's expressions are the same, which makes it feel like he's not fully present in the story--he doesn't seem to react much to the events going on and ends up coming off as kinda flat. Which is a shame, considering all the epic action going on! Great job on that fight scene, btw, it was really rad!!

Arts: FANTASTIC job on the monotones, and as others have mentioned, great choice on the colors. The green makes it feel kind of night-visiony security camera-y! V good to set the tone of the comic. There's some bits with wonky anatomy, but to me the part that stuck out the most was Harlow's tail in the first couple panels on page 4; it doesn't look like it's connected in quite the right spot, and body-language-wise it feels a bit off. Normally cats only raise their tails straight up like that when they're happy or signaling something (or, if poofed up like it is a couple panels later, lol)--in this case I feel like it'd make more sense for him to be holding his tail lower, or curled up tight against his body.

My favorite part of this, though, is just the overall story. I LIVE for this kind of thing, and I'm loving the fact that you chose to have your character essentially lose the war. Hit me right in the feels and got me yelling for more!! Poor Harlow I hope he finds a way out of this D:

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1046 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 10 2019, 11:31 PM
ARTS- So good. Sooooo good! You have such great moments in here- from the action to the exchange with the goons. It'd be so easy to make their interaction a throwaway, but you managed to give them a personality. I think everyone can agree that your strongest bit has to be when Harlow is hiding from the goons and has that silent beat where he is actually frightened and trying to build up the courage to face actual people with actual guns. In a place like void where the threats are usual and this cat is a pacifist, its cool to see this 'meant to be small' but really real moment. I can't wait to see what happens to poor Harlow under Hara's wing.

HELLIS- I don't know if I'm missing past comics or context behind this, but I Harlow feels more like an afterthought here to bear witness to elements I as a reader don't have much on. Kai-juice, arms, brotherly conflict. It was all an epic grab bag, but I wish you'd just focused on one in order to really expand on it and give it its just due- preferably where your character and your opponent have more chemistry.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1276 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 10 2019, 10:16 PM
Hellis: YOOOO Kaiju Hara on the way! I'm amp for that! I love the drama between the brothers. Im worried Harlow doesnt seem to have much to do with the story. They come in to rob him but then don't, so its more a story about Hara vs Huey. Diggin the colours though, love your explosions! hara is #1 pirate husbando

Arts: the limited palette looks great! The red of the ship is INSANE dramatic, it really gives a horrendous feeling of dread. Excellent writing, I love seeing Harlow lose at the end. This is a massive step up! Keep at it! The improvement is showing!

Flutterbyes
Artist
icon
188 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 9 2019, 06:21 PM
Hellis: Nice use of goggles in compositions. Some of my favorite panels here are the ones where you used reflections in goggles, glowing eyes, etc. I think some of your panels could use more dynamic staging to better convey action and force.

Artsandgoodies: Man, even when the icons spoiled the arrival of the ship, I still jumped a little when it arrived. It really made the eerie dull green of the comic up until that point worth it. I feel like some things could be a little clearer, like what's happening on page 4, and that Harlow's despair could have been amped up a little.

Badger
Artist
icon
33 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 5 2019, 01:32 PM
Fantastic battle you guys!! super well done on both ends!

Hellis: Love the colors you have here! The big “Wham” panel on page 6 is great and I love the first panel on page 8- super cool framing there. I do feel like the fight scenes could use some more extreme angles since there’s a lot of side shots- specifically page 4 panel 1 could use something angled, and some of the panels on page 5. With page 5 panel 1 I think it could work a lot better if the horizon was lowered so it would feel more like we’re looking up at them. The dynamic between Hara and Huey is excellent and I always love seeing them together- the super casual way Hara says “I’ll see you around” to Huey is great, I feel like it says a lot about them even though they oppose each other now. I’m excited for what you’re planning next!!

Arts: The cool green palette was a good choice- especially how you used red in so few places and then the sudden reveal on page 7 where the red ship takes up the majority of the page, the color shift there is just really intense and I love it! I feel like while the chaotic paneling of page 2 does help support the action that’s happening I feel like there’s still a lot of empty space that could be utilized there- specifically on the bottom left, it just feels a little empty to me. Maybe the panels above could be made bigger? I also really like page 4, you can really feel Harlow’s hesitation and fear, especially his expression when he throws that smoke grenade. I’m really invested in where this is going- Harlow cowering over the briefcase breaks my heart aaah

Elyan
Artist
icon
72 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 5 2019, 12:38 PM
Hellis: i love the dynamic between your bois. Its an interesting read. Your color choices and angles were really doing a great job. your page layout not so much imo. Generally speaken the broad white border alone but especially with those thin panel gaps are a odd choice. It feels cramped and closing that contrast a little would probably been nice. Then in page 5 you only used 2 panels which is an interesting choice but it reads a little ill placed. the 50/50 split of them doesnt help the impact in the lower one. given a 2/5 to 3/5 or so ratio might have worked better. also watch hand positions here. that robot must have switched his grip between panels as it looks. After that especially page 7 picks up momentum with that well placed twist of events.
Aside from the layout aspect it was a very interesting comic.

Artsandgoodies: I think you did great for 2 weeks for this is imo your best entry to date.
Of course there is enough to work on. As mentioned with hellis side I think the thin panel gaps aren´t the best choice. Here in addition it would have been nice to have some more contrast in the background under panels to better lead the eye. The inconsistency in the layout is another thing i would avoid in future. stick to white panelgaps or bg imbedded panel gaps.
I´ll leave it at that but not without saying that your impact at the end was very well written and entertaining.

In my opinion both entries are mostly equally strong with individual strengths. But i think Artsy here made a significant improvement with this comic so that got a little extra.

      Edited Jun 5 2019,  12:41 PM by Elyan

G.Lo
Artist
icon
99 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 4 2019, 12:03 AM
My dudes these were fantastic stories!

Hellis:
Honestly, I appreciate the little intro- I had started my Hara and Huey journey but this was a nice page to set the record straight.

I really liked your use of dramatic angles, especially the first panel of page 3. You really nailed the perspective and angle! However, this does not hold true for the fight scenes. You had the right idea to exaggerate limbs but you didn’t move the camera and kept the viewer angle at eye level, so it just looks like you’ve made some wonky limbs. References like that are hard to find so sometimes ya gotta be your own model! Take all the pics of cool poses and angles you wanna do!

Also I am LIVING for your spot blacks! They were so well balanced with the details of the environments and characters. I also really enjoyed your play on colors conveying the character’s emotion or what the situation would demand. The splody colors at the end pages were so gorgeous!

Poor Harlow just seemed to get in between of some Heavy Brother Shit (TM) and I’m super ready to see the chaos that will be Kaiju Hara!

Arts:
I love the color palette of this! It made me feel like I also was an intruder watching the events unfold through some night vision goggles!
Your characters are becoming much more fluid with each comic you do- way to step it up! There are a little bit of anatomy issues, but I feel like those are improving as well.

I like the idea of page 2 in how chaotic it is given the situation, but it gets a little confusing on which panel to read next when you have other panels touching. I kept wanting to skip the panel of the acquired targets. I really loved the tension on page 4 and how you can just FEEL Harlow wishing for a peaceful way out. The textures you added were subtle but they went really well with your environments.

I think you could have really played up the drama on page 6 and 8 if you had upped the brightness and contrast and that would have bumped up how ominous page 7 was.

The dynamic between Hara and Harlow is really interesting and I can’t wait to see what you do with the premise!

YOU GUYS ARE HECKIN AWESOME.

Dechado
Artist
icon
227 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 3 2019, 10:58 PM
Hellis: Watch your spelling.
Your lining has improved, I enjoyed the illustrations of this one.

Arts: I liked the color palette you used for this comic. I wish I could say something more than hur hur red for danger, and lower tones for the rest but... I guess that is as far as my wording will allow.
"Hope", I feel, was an important aspect in your writing; It starts with Harlow wanting to deal with the 4 people, and he is doing well, and it tricks you into thinking he might be able to fend them off... But no. Hara is ready for him.
Well done, looking forward to this story arc between Hara and Harlow. Poor kitty, can't seem to get a break.

Energy
Artist
icon
121 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 3 2019, 09:42 PM
This was a pretty great battle from you two.  Really enjoyed reading both sides.  Now, on to business.

Hellis:  If possible, you could vary up the camera angles during your action scenes (though, I'd break the 180 rule at my own risk).  Really love the flow in this.

Arts:  Page 2 has some pretty chaotic looking panelling.  But I'm willing to bet you did this on purpose, and if so, that's fine.  I really loved Hara's expression on panel 6 of page 6.  I'd love to see where you go with this story.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1276 comments
# 2   Posted: May 19 2019, 01:58 PM
YASSSSS

Hellis
Artist
icon
210 comments
# 1   Posted: May 19 2019, 09:40 AM
Wooo woooo

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 10th, 2019
Votes Cast: 27
Page Views: 780
Winner: ArtsandGoodies
 

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