Jane Blonde vs. Virtua

Jane Blonde vs. Virtua

Jane Blonde vs. Virtua

413 points
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Crit level: No preference

403 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Approval Committee
# 6   Posted: Jun 10 2019, 11:09 PM
MISTER KENT- Haha, a battle for a gag- totally dig it. I love your work and I was so amped for this, but I wanted moar.

MRPR1993- A fun girls night out doing what heroes do. It was fun to see these two unlikely ladies team up! You got some great drawings of of Jane's face- you totally made her look like a toon, and it was amusing to see a hulking capable woman like Virtua sort of take a support role as Jane played the brains of their outfit. I think the things I noticed is that you waver off model at times. Janes face especially seems to oscillate between real and animated. I dug the action of them flinging some bad guys around, but I wish you'd dedicated bigger panels to it to see all the action better.

I definitely think you need a proofreader as your dialogue is clunky. Your sentence structure doesn't allow for your jokes and one liners to really get across. Definitely better served if you have another pair of eyes on Still great effort and fun story!

Happy September 19th! -Reecer6
# 5   Posted: Jun 10 2019, 02:25 AM
Kent: Hey, this was short, but it was a good gag!! Zero chance of overextension there. Too bad they didn't actually fight <.<

Mr. PR: I appreciate and respect you doing a whole action movie storyline with Virtua, and I'm pretty sure it's meant to be cliche as a joke, but I dunno, it's coming off more as sincerely cliche than sarcastically cliche. The fact that there are things here that sound like plot threads we should know, but we don't, does help that (unless Chinful Chet was a character I should know!), and build the tone that we shouldn't be paying that much attention anyway, but ehhh, I think you can push that angle even more if that's what you want.

      Edited Jun 10 2019,  02:27 AM by Happy September 19th! -Reecer6

# 4   Posted: Jun 9 2019, 06:33 PM
Kent: That was a fun joke, with a fun "TV screen" setup. It's bite sized and complete, but it would have been a killer opener for a story.

MRPR: Virtua looks good in a bodysuit! I'm not sure if the gravity of the polyclop plot is properly depicted (what should be a scary moment has cartoon expressions). It's kind of a shame this subject wasn't used for a much longer, more involved.

# 3   Posted: Jun 9 2019, 01:27 PM
Kent: I love the DLC content joke- got a laugh out of me hahahh the colors you used are vibrant and great, I really just wish there was more since it feels like it ends a little quickly! Maybe another page or so for a resolution? I enjoyed this a lot!

MrPr: Great action- I like the train setting and the polyclops is a super fun monster! Some of the speech bubbles could be a bit bigger- the lettering on a lot of them goes very closely to the edges of the bubble, which makes them feel a little too tight. Also watch out for some tangents with the speech bubbles-as a couple examples, page 1 panel 1 has a tangent with the speech bubble’s tail and a line on the window, page 4 panel 2 with the upper left speech bubble’s tail and the side of the door- make sure to place speech bubbles so that they don’t cause tangents with some background elements! I really liked the action here and I’m interested in seeing more about the polyclops!

Approval Committee
# 2   Posted: Jun 5 2019, 12:15 PM
Kent: thats a funny little joke its a shame theres not more because yoyr writing is a delight also you colors are good.

Mrpr: I like that your sticking with the poly story and showing us more about the threat they are. I do wish there was more details on the train interior. Just adding a couple more repeating lines following the shape of the train will add much more depth. Also playing around with some simple gradients with a dark to transparent will add depth and have the back fade away more. I do like your figures and how you use different body shapes in-particular jane looks good in this. I do like seeing more and interested to see where this story goes.

# 1   Posted: May 13 2019, 10:53 PM
Here we go!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 10th, 2019
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 567
Winner: Mister Kent

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