N00b of Clandestein Ch.05 & Ch.06 / Monday

N00b of Clandestein Ch.05 & Ch.06 / Monday

N00b of Clandestein Ch.05 & Ch.06 — Monday

by Monday

Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18Page 19Page 20Page 21Page 22Page 23Page 24Page 25Page 26Page 27Page 28Page 29Page 30Page 31Page 32Page 33Page 34Page 35Page 36Page 37Page 38Page 39Page 40Page 41Page 42Page 43Page 44Page 45Page 46Page 47Page 48Page 49Page 50Page 51Page 52Page 53

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment

Approval Committee
# 4   Posted: May 14 2019, 07:49 PM
I can crit it as a published work from a junior professional, there will be a couple ways I will go about this.

FOR COMIC CONS: I have been going to comic cons in the states for a couple years, and while the market will be different there where you are, a lot of artists at comic cons there self publish their own comics which is a good level to compare your comic to. I have bought and supported most of these artists so I will compare your comic to theirs. Now the main thing is your storytelling is very different from typical american comics both in type of story and pacing.

Your comics are dense in both story material and literally with lots of stuff happening at the same time on your pages. I personally like this but I can see a casual comics fan finding it too dense and hard to follow. Part of the the physical aspect of this is the lack of contrast and midtones in the first chapters but you fix that later on as you improve. However your story remains with tons of different things going on with multiple characters, which is something i like but I can see people getting confused and having trouble remembering all the plot elements. I will talk more about it compared to other isekais as well.
Before that I will mention one big thing you have as an advantage is that you have a whole volume published and ready to sell. There are a lot of artists who at cons only have a couple of issues of their story and even their volumes may be less than your since you start with a first chapter that has 40 or so pages. so you have a lot of content you're bringing to the table which is good.

AS AN ISEKAI: I don't read much isekai and only watch some isekai anime but from my little experince only looking inward at the most popular of those this feels way more like an fantasy action than a typical isekai. I feel like more mainstream isekai tend to focus on one self insert character, but you have a bigger group of characters and even your main character has a lot of personality and isn't exactly a self inset.

Also one route you may wanna consider exploring is webtoons since that's getting really popular and I feel like your type of story would work on there since it has a lot of cool complex fantasy elements. Also sorry if this is a mess there's a lot I think i can say about this but not sure if it will be helpful.

# 3   Posted: May 13 2019, 01:01 AM
Thanks for all those who read and enjoyed this work !  But if there was one thing I'm curious about as a junior professional, it would be your impressions on how well this would do as a professional product and if this is the type of story you would read more of considering how saturated the market is with Isekai.

A good old fashioned void crit is fine too.

 Your feedback would be worth the adventure, thanks !

      Edited May 13 2019,  01:02 AM by Monday

Approval Committee
# 2   Posted: May 12 2019, 06:02 PM
I love this ending with all the spirits coming back to the families. it's cheesey but in a way that I love. Like I can't state enough how much i love this ending and am interested in seeing more and finding out more about this world since there's still a lot of intrigue and stuff to find out about.

# 1   Posted: May 7 2019, 03:59 AM
Have a wonderful Free comics day, everyone !

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: May 14th, 2019
Votes Cast: 1
Page Views: 527

Add to Playlist -


Newest Comments -

Newest Characters -

SaalNopalitoLiloRavenLarry the TapperArleyPalookaRiley GatorChica ChicanaVioletNagy TamaszBenjamin Le Fay

Open Challenges -

Random Comic -

Latest Topics -

All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Sep 18, 2019, 05:37 PM
Art Diary of an Eternal Student 
Last updated: BoogidiBzdo - Sep 16, 2019, 01:12 AM
Wedding Dress Jam 
Last updated: JCee - Sep 15, 2019, 05:49 AM
Art of Rivana 
Last updated: Rivana - Sep 12, 2019, 10:00 AM
Tarot Card Jam NSFW 
Last updated: Lycanthropian - Sep 12, 2019, 09:25 AM

Latest Members -

Users online -

36 Guests, 2 Users

Most Online Today: 93.
Most Online Ever: 1,050 (Aug 30, 2015, 02:43 AM)


Original site Copyright 2002-2017 Kevin Birtcher All characters and content Copyright 2002-2017 their respective owners Theme by SMFTricks - Modified by Brittney Scott & Jordan Bobo
Website Security Test