Heavyweight Tournament 2019

Heavyweight Tournament 2019

Heavyweight Tournament 2019

by Shen

Icon for Gray12.7%
751 points
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Crit level: No preference


Icon for Remy Naufrage13.4%
792 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques


by Monday

Icon for Usagi12.5%
740 points
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Crit level: No preference


by kubo

Icon for Wendigo12.1%
714 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags:


by PONBIKI

Icon for Estrella D\' Muerte12.3%
725 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: Black and White, captberto, estrella, heavyweighttourny, ponbiki, superberto, traditional


by JCee

Icon for Black Swan13%
765 points
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Crit level: No preference


by Golden

Icon for Crikey Dile11.5%
679 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques


by Radji

Icon for Kurt and Polterdot12.4%
733 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques




Critiques & Comments
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Bobo
Web Dev
974 comments
# 46   Posted: Dec 22 2019, 10:35 PM
Cy proving once again that he's the hero VOID needs but doesn't deserve ♡

Happy October 23rd! ACAB -Reecer6
Artist
310 comments
# 45   Posted: Dec 22 2019, 06:02 PM
cy you gave me a goddamn heart attack when i clicked on here and saw submitted pages

TheCydork
Artist
302 comments
# 44   Posted: Dec 21 2019, 08:54 PM
In honour of the Heavyweight title match finishing in like, a day, I’ve finally gotten round to commenting on this monster of a battle >: ) I think it goes without saying that everyone here did an incredible job and you all should be super proud of yourselves, even if you couldn’t finish!

Spoiler: Shen • show
Congrats on 47 complete pages! That’s just incredible. What is that like, 10 pages a week? Wow. The setting you went with here was also intriguing. It was a more conventional battle royale but the use of a flesh maze with a floating lava river was really creative (and made for an amazing death scene). I’m not sure what it is about your art or writing, but I found myself going through this way faster than the other battles, despite its length (I usually have to take breaks when I read things, even when I’m enjoying them). I enjoyed your portrayals of Remy and Remy!Wendigo, they’re such smarmy little shits here and I love it. And the last page hit really damn hard.

I agree with the others on Gray’s portrayal though. Her character felt all over the place, one minute meek and hopeless, the other gleeful at the horrors of the situation. A few moments with other characters also felt OOC just to make the situation more dramatic.


Spoiler: Kozi • show
I think this is one of the best comics I’ve read on here. It’s laid out really well, looks very professional and polished, and the writing is great, for the most part. It was pretty clever how you linked everyone together AND to your overarching story in this “mission” for Death. I also love the texture you used.

Honestly, now I’m wishing I gave a 10 for quality, because there’s so many little details I’ve only noticed on my 3rd read. I love the pink flames on each chapter page and the little white symbols relating to the captured soul within each flame! Like the rabbit face and crocodile. I also like how on page 31, Remy actually looks kind of scared before he’s blasted and then somber afterwards. It’s interesting to see his boundaries and that even he wasn’t happy about accidentally killing a baby.

There’s some things I’m confused about though. On page 28 and 29, I’m not sure what is happening or where the action is taking place. I don’t see anybody in that scene die, but later I see Death collect souls marked with their symbols, such as Gray’s tattoos. Also what’s the deal with Lu and Remy? Reading this and the archive I can’t work out if Lu is Remy’s sister or girlfriend. Or both? She’s been referred to as a sister and yet they interact as if they’re a couple. Is it meant to be incestuous?

Also a minor nitpick but the blood texture on page 2 doesn’t look right to me. Later the blood looks fine, but on that page it doesn’t look like it’s actually coating Lu’s hands and more like a blood splatter overlaid on top of them. The shape looks flat and doesn’t wrap around the fingers.


Spoiler: Monday • show
Visually, this started off amazing. I love this colouring style and the specific colour choices as well. Like I’ve said before, your fast and loose strokes lend themselves very well to motion and all the action felt very organic. It was also really cool to see reimaginings of these characters in another era and culture, kudos for taking the time to redesign everyone to fit.

However, the loose art and affected dialogue gives Usagi’s comics an abstract quality that leave me lost most of the time. A lot of lines are dramatic, poetic even, like sayings or quotes straight from a myth, but that effect can obscure information within the dialogue needed to understand the scene. Here that problem is worsened by having so much dialogue that is crammed together and tiny. And while I like the looseness of your style, sometimes it just gets messy; some of the action scenes here were pretty chaotic and hard to make out. So overall, I get the sense that something really epic is going on.. but can’t actually make out what epic thing is supposed to be happening, or why. I thought it was just me, or that I needed to catch up on the prior comics, but I became more confused after reading the archives. I also couldn’t work out who everyone was supposed to be. I didn’t know which person was Wendigo, or what happened to Gray for instance.


Spoiler: Kubo • show
First of all, 47 pages, wow! Even if you didn’t complete them all, that’s amazing. The stark black and white you went with fit the tone of the battle really well, and there were so many great dramatic moments because of that choice. Page 7, showing the black mass of homunculi behind Wendigo, and the introduction of unicorn-horned Wendigo on page 41 were my favourites. The trail from his red eyes and the completely black and unreadable face were *chefs kiss* Also thank you for the cameo of my boy, hehe.

Unfortunately I was completely lost by the halfway point due to the missing dialogue, and ultimately didn’t enjoy the comic because it felt like things were just happening at random. I know that there was a story, but for me there was too little to grasp onto and extrapolate. The text bubbles that were present were hard for me to read as they were pretty small and thin compared to the lines. Some of the opponents also seemed to flash by and have no impact on the story. Usagi shows up for 3 pages and then is never seen again, and I feel like I barely saw Crikey as well.


Spoiler: Ponbiki • show
Wow, I’m just floored that this was done traditionally. There’s so much detail and the shading is ace, so kudos. The last page was also gorgeous and feels more like its own art piece than a comic page.

Personally there was way too much black though. For a lot of the panels, I didn’t know where to focus, so I couldn’t make out the action or setting. The story wasn’t clear to me either. A couple of times, the characters ask questions that I wonder myself, but aren’t answered later on (why Gray is with Estrella or why Swan is naked) or bump into each other once and then don’t interact again afterwards (like Polterdot and Usagi both encountering someone and going, “scary”). The comic felt like a weirdly convenient meetup of all the opponents, and then a random fight. As I’ve said before though, when there’s a lot of black or a lot of detail I find myself accidentally skipping or not fully taking in the text even when I re-read a few times, so the last part is probably on me and not reflective of your writing skills.


Spoiler: JCee • show
I really, really like the idea of the battle being completely mental. It was an interesting take and I love how you took characters without any history with Swan and made them represent parts of her consciousness pretty organically. Your palette and illustration of motion are one of my favourites on the site. The muted blues you use here and with a lot of Swan’s battles seem to fit regardless of tone, and the way you draw motion lines is always just the right amount of transparent and opaque for my taste. With Swan you do some lovely action poses too, it’s nice to see the elegance in them.

My only problem was that Swan resolved things way too quickly. I know that’s the danger with one-off comics, but you showed before that her trauma really, really affected her, so it feels weird that she was suddenly able to stand up to Remy. If it was maybe a sudden burst of courage and not actual closure I could understand, but since Death knows everything surely she would know if Swan had truly moved on or not?


Spoiler: Golden • show
I really like your style and the way you added little hints of colour in this comic like Crikey’s green tail and Swan’s pink markings. The Void has a great imposing atmosphere, and there’s something about your panelling and composition that’s also really pleasing, though I’m not sure why?

I can’t crit too much because it’s half-complete, but some things that stood out to me so far were Wendigo’s rather abrupt appearance and Usagi’s depiction. In all the other comics he appears to be human-sized, albeit short, and extremely serious, but he’s bunny-sized and cutesy here. A lot of the dialogue also felt like exposition as opposed to a natural conversation, especially when Remy or Wendigo were being discussed.


Spoiler: Radji • show
I honestly don’t have much to say that I haven’t said on your other comics. You consistently produce really high quality and aesthetically pleasing work, here I loved the lean towards more solid blacks mixed with a watercolour effect and how Kurt’s abilities were illustrated. Some lines looked a little rushed but it’s hardly worth mentioning.

kubo
Artist
105 comments
# 43   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 09:10 PM
PONBIKI

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
I don’t know where to start! This comic is so fun, so emotional, so energized. What a great way to make a comeback. Estrella has been around since the beginning, since the first Heavyweight tourney. It’s only fitting for her to return with this Battle Royale. Your traditional inks are really wonderful to look at. I have definitely spent some time just studying your panels and brush work. The energy in its looseness and gesture really give life to every page.

Your page layouts are a lot of fun, as well. You establish a great scene and keep it feeling real throughout it without weighing it down with too much background detail. Although some of the panels could do with some clarity. I love how heavy your blacks are but sometimes Im not sure what I am looking at. Page 2’s first panel for example, however there’s something about it that I still love. You’ve said that you don’t like coloring your own art, but I think adding a layer of grey would allow more contrast on some of the panels, giving you room to pull back on the blacks and really giving it a good kick. I get really nostalgic when I see old school cameos (like DJ Toolio and am I imagining things or is the Red Blood Phill?!) and your interpretations of all the character are really cool. Shoeless Wendigo made me laugh hard and I truly think he need to get the crap beaten out of him by more badass women.

I’m a big sucker for heist stories so I love that this one takes place in the middle of a rock show. It is pretty bare bones, however, and the reason why character are there and/or meeting with each other is a bit unclear. I would have loved to see Kurt come up with some kind of elaborate plan to get the money that let with manipulating the other characters in the room only to be stopped by Estrella in the end. I am freaked out about the prospect of Estrella not only going back in time but talking to alter-world Koji, though! DAMN.

I need more Estrella so don’t be disappearing on us again! Estrella exemplifies everything I love about Void: over-the-top action and attitude with a punker’s flair. A lot of what Void is today is because of the comics you and those other baller artists created. Your influence runs deep. That. I thank you for.

kubo
Artist
105 comments
# 42   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 07:59 PM
MONDAY

At first I was wary about Usage Shin being on of the competitors in this tournament. Out of all your characters, he was the one I was least interested in. This was before I actually went in and read you speed death tourney comics. I quickly got past the obvious reference to another samurai rabbit and became engrossed in this tale of tortured warriors and cursed destinies. Your stories in the land of Hongri and their connection to the present and to Void City is a joy to read. Your submission to the Battle Royal is no exception. I REALLY enjoyed your interpretations for each of our characters. Their spiritual predecessors were well designed and refreshing. I also enjoyed the team up as well as the surprise reveal of Gray being a villain/possessed girl. The art is brilliant and you choice of colors truly gave Hongri a mythic quality. Nevertheless, on certain pages it did become difficult to extract what was happening in some of the panels while still being visually beautiful. I don’t think there was a single page I did not love looking at.

While I enjoyed reading through the comic, I did become confused as we drew to the ending. Was the Ogre of the West not actually killed and was he hiding inside Gray? Was Inspector Pascalline sent to hunt down the Ogre of the West or Naufrage? Or were they one and the same?

Estrella’s part in this was more as a MacGuffin than anything else, though I am interesting in what her plans were beyond the game. I like your cameos (the Hiemie ogre, Crazy Samurai, Agent Black, etc) It did lend more to connecting current Void City events to this ancient tale. I felt as if this could have done with a few more pages. The ending felt like a “to be continued” but if that is what you intended then Im excited to see where ancient Shin goes from here.

Shin as a character has so many layers and this comic does a lot to expand upon that. As a world builder, I am enamored with the way you let us into this era of Void’s past. With each passing remark or reference, you add onto the lore of Hongri, which in turn fleshed out Void itself. When I first joined Void over a decade ago I remember reading your Agent Black comics. I was overwhelmed by your skill in inking and drawing a page together through the chaos and weaving it into a thrilling story. Over the years your skills have become sharper and your use of color has only added more vitality to breath of your talents. I am glad I got the chance to fight against you. I only hope it’s not the last.

kubo
Artist
105 comments
# 41   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 06:54 PM
KOZISPOON

Damn, this is some perfectly heavy shit. Calculated, exact, you didn’t over extend yourself trying to tell this tale, and you told it well. While prepping for this battle, I reread all of your Remy comics and I’ll have to say I love the way you unfold a mystery. Thank you for not answering the question I asked you because the way you revealed it here is *chef’s kiss.* Most of the revelations is this comic have been hinted to in your previous battles which makes the reveal here that Remy’s curse and the death of his ex were all orchestrated by Lu extra fulfilling.

I find it difficult to pick apart this comic but I’ll still try. There are a few pieces to this story that I’m a little confused about, Gray’s reason for joining Remy being one of them. I feel this could have been written to be a bit more clear. We’ve talked about it since the release of the comic so I feel like I understand it now, but I didn’t when I first read it. She could have been better utilized as well. She kind of serves as someone to banter with mostly and to also dispense exposition.

You utilize Remy’s hair to mark the passage of time through the comic, which i like, but it either seems to grow really fast or this is all over the corse of a year or more, which I guess isn’t really a problem but I did get a bit turned around in the beginning. I feel like this comment is a waste of space, but whatever. After reading the comic a fourth time I felt like it was a lot more clear so take it as you wish.

The worse transgression that has occurred in this comic is that fact that you got the color of Wendigo’s blood wrong! Its obviously suppose to be green! JEEZ, such careless disregard for details! But I’ll forgive you since you gave me a new homunculus to play with, plus a goal for Wendigo. There is a lot of setup for things to come, yet it does not feel like this story is just stepping stone. It is both its own thing and part of something greater and I love it for this.

You are truly a masterful cartoonist. I could see this comic being published and placed on the shelf next to titles like Saga and Rat Queens. No joke. I wish I could have given you a better challenge in this battle, but I promise you the next time we go toe to toe it will be amazing.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 40   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 05:26 PM
Kubo: Your inks were great here. Your art style looks quite different when it’s without any color! I like how readable and clean your inks are, it’s like a different artist is on display when you’re not using colors. I would love to see you push that some more whenever you get the chance. You should do a pure B/W or grayscale fight with someone as a theme some time. The little bits of color we saw weren’t used to such an extent that brought out a lot of the parts they were used, but I suspect that time played a role in that.

Wendigo was well-displayed here. He’s not exactly a character bursting with a lot of depth, he’s very much an ‘old void’ fighter. Which is great! You do a good job keeping him entertaining while on the page and the bit of character development we get here from our shadowy organization is good. It would have been nice to have more of him on display and to learn more about him, but what was shown was quite good.

Thank you for the attention that you gave Lu, I appreciate that. She was a very active participant in the story, more than any other comic. That was cool of you! On the whole, you did the kind of active chaos and perfect storm that makes Battle Royale fun. Everyone pursuing their own goals and having the characters end up together in conflict.

Truthfully, any real criticism that could be offered comes down to, ‘if only you had finished’. Because that’s really the bulk of the critique, it just relies on the fact that you didn’t finish. The question hangs on what could have been. However, more than the other comics that were unfinished or didn’t reach their full potential, I want to read this completed. Obviously these things are usually hand waved away, but sincerely consider adding the dialogue to this comic and finishing it. This story should be told, because you did a terrific job of having all of these disparate elements brought together to make a true Battle Royale. There’s a lot bubbling under the surface and you should really take this to the end.

You had the most potential here for a great story and I really want to read it through. What you did show us was fantastic and I am a huge fan. This was a great comic and I hope that whether you continue it or not, we see some more work from you this year. Great work!

kubo
Artist
105 comments
# 39   Posted: Jun 30 2019, 05:18 PM
First I'd like to say how lucky I feel to have had the chance to participate in the Battle Royale. Each of you is an amazing artist and storyteller and I am humbled to read each your comics and see your great work.

I'll be posting each review separately since it looks like they are going to be a bit long.

SHEN

47 complete pages.
WOW.
You are truly a beast. With the highest page count in the Battle Royale you still managed to keep your pages looking consistent. While there are some panels that are a little looser, there isn’t a page that looks incomplete or even sloppy. The limited color pallet helps foster an atmosphere that I think is in line with the general mood of the comic. I LOVE body horror (as you can probably tell by my own character) and when Shin burst through that wall and all that guts and gore flew everywhere I knew I was in for a fun time. If we had more time I would have loved to see more of that throughout the comic (maybe mouth doorways or moving faces, etc).

Your character interactions are a lot of fun and I can sense that it’s where you feel the most comfortable. I would be remiss to not comment on your shipping of Wendigo and Gray, which is ADORABLE. I’m excited to get into some non-combat interactions between Wendigo and other Voiders so seeing him here chatting with Gray is getting me hyped. Plus getting to see Wendigo’s “nicer” side with Gray was a lot of fun. One thing I noticed was that it was a bit hard to hear each characters voice in their dialogue. I know its hard to write accents and stuff ( I don’t think I did a good job with it at all in mine) but we did have three french speaking characters and an Australian, yet they all sounded very similar when they spoke. I did love Shin’s dialogue, however. Something about him always being polite even in the middle of battle gets to me. Plus, his struggle with what was reality was a nice touch.

One thing I was a bit confused on what Gray’s mindset throughout the comic. It seemed that with each scene she would change hats, at one point being the shy delicate girl and at another a bloodthirsty monster. I know that this hypocrisy is a part of her character. She wants to be evil but is too scared to act herself. However I feel a bit more consistency with that could have helped some of the scenes between Gray and Swan and Gray and Kurt. That being said, I really loved how you used Remy/Wendigo as the catalyst for Gray stepping up and actually fighting to win. Man, that version of Wendigo is properly creepy and I liked how you made it a point to address his sexuality when he’s integrated. Thank you.

Incorporating Estrella into this battle was an interesting endeavor. She is such a powerhouse in the world of Void and a legend outside of it. I like the idea of the whole battle being a game/test set up by Estrella for her and everyone watching’s amusement (how meta). Im still conflicted on about how short that last battle was between Gray and Estrella. I would have loved to see Gray fully commit and wield her powers to their fullest, but I like how in the end she just fell to a single strike. What does that mean? What message does that send after everything that had transgressed? Gray herself may never know.

When I returned to Void, you were one of the first to welcome me in and I thank you for that. Your love for your characters and those of others shines through in your comics and I am honored to have been able to be a part of that. That excitement for story and drama has pushed me to delve into my own characters and seek out the humanity in them. I thank you for that.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 38   Posted: Jun 29 2019, 02:01 AM
Monday: I was a huge fan of a lot of this comic. You really displayed a lot of love for Usagi and a lot of thoughtfulness towards your opponents. You had a strong direction throughout and displayed a keen focus on staying true to the story you laid out for us. It was an exceptionally standout comic, taking us in a direction and to a place that was very individual.

Your art direction is very strong as usual. Your shadow and light usage is very intriguing. I love the way you compose a character through colors and making them with a few choices. Your color choices are always such a treat to view and the colors on display here are exceedingly unique and complex. You’re really pushing what you can do with your medium. If I could say anything regarding it, I just want you to push it more. See how far it can actually go.

You do a tremendous job of setting up action and following through with it.  Some of those fight scenes weren’t made by the characters so much as they were by the things going on around the characters. The end of page 17’s ‘splash’ from Swan leaping towards Gray carries all the movement and flow that makes the comic come to life and that’s extremely impressive. I feel you’ve got a terrific handle on that, but you’ve had that for years. Action is a strong suit for you and this one definitely delivers.

Your photography manipulations were a questionable choice. It felt like it detracted from your work a bit as it was in this comic. Maybe with some more futzing you could do something more accomplished with it. As it was, it just felt like a concession due to time constraints.

Your great weakness in composition has to be your speech bubbles. You overload them to the point of bursting and it severely limits your readability. It doesn’t help because you often don’t have good ‘silent action’ (being able to understand what’s going on in the comic without having words attached to them). Being so dialogue heavy, we have to pay attention to what you say, but when it’s so fitted to the brim and without break, it hurts your story in a major way.

The worst part of it has to be the fact that very often, you actually have room in these panels for the speech bubbles to be broken up.  Page 10 is particularly egregious with this. You need to take time to split these up and to be more considerate how you work with them. Too much in such small print causes serious eyeglazing and it only hurts actually trying to parse and understand your comic. These words should not be pressed up against the borders of it. It, like the art in the panel itself, needs breathing room.

You like having a lot of interesting and diverse topics that you talk about in your comics, but it would go a long way if you cleaned them up some more.  You also have it crossing panels, so that the order of reading is completely lost. Page 11 has the dialogue skipping an entire panel ahead of it, before reconvening with the panel again? The order of operations in reading that page becomes truly mad and you could have handled that much better.

I’m very enamored with the character reimaginings and I love the feudal Japan on display. It goes well with the history of Usagi as you’ve displayed in the SDT and I like that we get to see the timeline manipulation he was part of. The story was very ambitious and was a super cool take on how to make the Battle Royale work for you. I wish people would take your cue more often and try to thrust these characters into completely foreign and unfamiliar locations. That introduction with Wendigo was really great and I loved how we got a good feel for the setting and what we were in for right away.

That being said, you were in need of an editor for this comic. There are huge clarity issues that exist in understanding this comic near the tail end. This could be chalked up to time. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t point them out to explain the problems that I had in parsing the story. When we reach the beach, Gray is thrust into the bloody ocean. Then, due to Remy’s magic, she turns into a demon. A short fight later and suddenly Usagi and Swan are thrust out to sea?

There’s a lack of understanding of the relationship in physical space that helps lead us to where characters end up. The ending also loses some sensibility to it. Where did the other daimyos go? Did Remy have something to do with them disappearing? Was he the Western Ogre? Was Gray still good and worth saving? So many of these questions lack a clear answer but they also aren’t obvious upon a second or third reading, either.

I really enjoyed seeing Usagi return. I really would like to see more from you whenever you have free time, especially since he seems like the type of character you could do a lot with. I think this was one of the more ambitious stories attempted in the Royale and I’m honestly hoping to see you do more with him, either in an event or regular battles. It’s great seeing you participate and do things. I hope you find the time to do some more this year. Great work!


PONBIKI
Artist
184 comments
# 37   Posted: Jun 29 2019, 01:09 AM
I like to first start by thanking all the artist involved in this tourney.  For being such class acts!  Everyone of them is so talented, thoughtful, kind, heartwarming, and inspirational. As one of the oldest fighter in Void if I retired now from this site I would go quietly and proud of the Amazing work we created. (But I'm not). No defaults from these Heavy weights and that makes me so proud.

I don't have much of critics for anyone. plus I would be echoing most of the critics that have been posted.

So I'll just point out things I noticed in some that made go huh or why?

Kozispoon: on page 21 you broke the 180 degree rule. The panels before show Wendigo on the left and Remy on the right but then it shows them vise versa and then vise versa again almost in the same panel.

Monday: I feel page 12 was kinda pointless. I only say that because I felt you just gave a pointless reason to hold back the story a page with something that was not important to the overall story. Why have a broken down ship now we have to fix montage page. You could had just said" Its not the fastest ship but it'll get us there".  Skip the filler episode!

Kubo: I just wish the ending of the story wasn't confusing. Did he eat Estrella so he can grow huge? its a bit confusing.

Golden: You already know what is wrong with yours. I feel you made a sequence that totally could had been skipped as well. The whole steps pages and even some of the  back and forth when they know its a trap.

These were the things I nicked picked at and just stood out to me. Even with these little issues. They can't compare to the hard work you all put in to the tournament. The Art is so Amazing the stories are fantastic. Everyone is so comfortable drawing in their own style and it shows. Great confidence in line work, coloring and story telling. I'm so honored to had fight you all.

 I know everyone of us have jobs, life, and priorities. We do these comics for not just entertainment but to grow as a pencilers, inkers, writers,  colorist, background artist, designers and world builders. We the Void artist are the whole package when we come to the Void Arena. That is something we should all be proud of.

Remember to always have fun. Peace


 

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 36   Posted: Jun 29 2019, 01:01 AM
Kozispoon: This review will be a bit shorter than the others. You’ve cooked the steak to near-perfection. At best, all I could offer is I would have appreciated more of this comic.

You do an excellent job of setting the mood and carrying through. Your story elements are very well placed and executed. You take us right to the heart of the matter and you really have Remy pull the narrative along. I would have appreciated having his thoughts on the matter. For the most part, he’s doing Lu’s work and while that’s good and all, this is a missed opportunity for us to feel his feelings on everything. Clearly he’s fine killing semi-professional William Duel impersonators, but he’s a little so-so on baby murder. I would have liked to be privy to those thoughts.

The quality you produced is phenomenal. Just an utter shock to the system. The colors on display are gorgeous and that pink glow that you have encircling Remy is fantastic. The decision to keep a limited palette worked in your favor and you really pushed it to its utmost here. Your inks are dripping with personality. You really have improved in drawing not only men, but also human figures in general. It was a damned impressive showing on your part. Your characterization for everyone is just perfect, not just the emotions you play with but in the writing as well.

Page 13 has a flaw of breaking the 180 degree rule. Does it destroy the comic? No, not at all, but it’s something to be mindful of in the future.

I really don’t have much to say regarding it. You’ve heard me plenty of this during the production of the comic as well as after it’s production, so you know how I feel about it already. Take pride from what you’ve done, you’ve destroyed this.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 35   Posted: Jun 29 2019, 12:28 AM
Shen: First things first, you did a solid job with the work you produced. You really showed off here and, like everyone else, really put everything you could into it. You should definitely be proud with what you ended up accomplishing here.

You were wise in the limited color scheme and it served to your benefit. Sticking with the reds and greys was a nice decision. It really helped support your visuals and I’m a fan of making good decisions to keep your quality consistent throughout a comic on a deadline. You should try this limited color scheme again on something where you can push the format even more, actually. You could do great things with it if you did it on a smaller story or illustration.

I’m a fan of a good maze story.  It’s basically right up there with having an actual ‘death tournament’ framework. Both are classic and you can only improve on the formula. The eyes on the walls made for a good reason as to why we were viewing the comic itself. That bit of meta-plot is appreciated and the little touch is nice. The action and drama was pretty fun and you did great on the expressions game here.

The interactions you have on display here are well done. The way you handled most characters was very well done and what you ended up doing with them was enjoyable. You gave a lot of consideration to your opponents and to that end you really made them good active participants in the story. Of particular note, I have to give you particular props to the lava kill. That was fun. It definitely was worth one of the Creativity points I awarded. Easily the highlight of the comic for me.

The major issue with your comic comes down to characterization. You play everyone fairly correctly for the most part. Exceptions to that being Wendigo and surprisingly enough, Gray. You give Wendigo a lot more humanity than he really should have. Remy and his role in the comic should have been swapped, since Wendigo is much more of a monster than Remy has shown himself to be. At the same time, with only two battles to his name, you’ve got a lot of freedom to develop the character however you like. That being said, him showing some kind of affection for Gray is sort of weird. It’s ultimately not a big thing; consider it nitpicking if anything.

However, Gray is very uneven the entire time.  It’s almost as if you had her going through her entire timeline of existence on Void, since she starts off with her original incarnation but is shifting very hard with her attitude. It goes from innocent naivety to her modern murderhobo ways and in the end she has suddenly displays some kind of heroic spirit? Her personality is all over the place, but it doesn’t feel like she’s unstable or crazy, it just feels like we’re throwing everything at the wall with her to see what sticks.

I ultimately get the impression you were trying for Gray to be a likeable protagonist for this story. I can appreciate that sentiment, but it comes off like you made her act out of character more often than not because that’s how you felt the beats of the story should go, as opposed to how the character should naturally progress through the story.

It would have been preferable for a Gray that displays some of her current lack of inhibitions. We basically had our opportunity to see how she would act when she’s finally in the circumstances she’s talked up for the better part of a few years (being in Hell, being a corrupted spirit) but this character doesn’t feel like Gray. It felt more like a compilation Gray, with the entire personality of each of her arcs on display. It doesn’t work for me, personally.

You could have reduced story in a few places or balanced it out in a better way. Perhaps reduced a few spots, perhaps streamlined in some ways. It gets a little long in the tooth for me at points and while you probably thought about this as you were writing it, it’s definitely a skill you should try to master. Kill your darlings and all that.

I applaud you for trying to reach as far as you did. I can appreciate the goal of telling a large, complete story. You could have reduced some it down to have helped cut the hassle for yourself, but honestly, you managed to pull out something very impressive and you have a complete and finished story. Well done!

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 34   Posted: Jun 26 2019, 06:16 PM
Whew, last crit of the line up. AMAZING job to everyone who participated. I couldn't be prouder than to stand toe to toe with some of VOIDs heaviest and greatest :)


SHEN- 47 pages. Forty seven friggin pages. I STILL can't get over the supreme amount of work you put yourself through. This is almost ridiculous- if not already so XD From the get I loved the gore in this (which  I think stands toe to toe with monday's neato work)-definitely appears to be your comfort zone and totally delivered some heinous ends to some of the characters. I think Crikey getting utterly melted away by a shower of lava had to be my fav. Honestly, all the fight and battle scenes had to be some of the stronger parts of this comic for sure.

The putrid zombie flesh maze and the lava ceiling were such neat reasons as to why Gray is stuck there. Also as someone who saw your color studies of how you intended to color this, I KNOW this was gonna look incredible with the lava as the light source. Getting the reveal that all the eyeballs floating around were spectators watching this sick hunger games maze show was an added "oooh whaaa" moment.

I think my biggest nitpick was really Gray herself in regards to tonal consistency. She’s zapped here and seems to suddenly regress all the way back to the Gray of 7 years ago. Then we go on a white knuckle fast dive through ‘the best of’ Gray. Over quirks and struggles she’d already gotten past and covered. What puzzles me is that we don’t stop at ‘current’ Gray who at least for me has cultivated a guilty acceptance of evil and enjoyment of manipulation, but end the comic with this sudden and completely left field spark of heroism. Who are these people to her? Half of them wanted her dead. Why when faced with death- the ONE person she wanted an audience with and wanted to be acknowledged by, she decides instead to fight Estrella for a bunch of fellow nobody maze runners? I was really hoping to see an identity crisis with Estrella outright revealing she isn’t dead. If there was anyone who’d be willing to tell her the truth and Gray would believe, it’d be Estrella, but when Gray asks the question, Estrella doesn’t say anything?

I get the feeling you were struggling with tossing Gray into an appealing light, when she should just embrace that she's a rotten character who likes stirring the pot. We oscillate between the Gray of past present and future(???) that I have something of emotional whiplash trying to keep up over whether this is the product of the maze affecting only her personality, or you were undecided as to what iteration of Gray you wanted to showcase.

Also, as impressive a feat and shocking as this pagecount was, I think this comic would’ve stood stronger with more editing.

Bobo
Web Dev
974 comments
# 33   Posted: Jun 24 2019, 11:43 PM
I'm probably going to have to be brief with these because just reading and voting is a lot of effort, but I'll try to at least give a little helpful feedback!

Spoiler: Shen • show
You've already heard most of my notes on what I loved about this comic, and I'll just reiterate that I loved the way you handled the color scheme, the way you showed off everything Gray has become throughout her time in VOID, from the little lamb who thinks so little of herself that she'll follow anyone who doesn't immediately reject her, even if they're mean, to the demon-like being who can just rip someone apart with her mind. That combination of hope for something and utter despair when it seems clear she's destined to continue wandering lost is why I'm always so engrossed in her comics. I still want to see a happy ending for her, but I have to admit that seeing her struggle is intriguing as well.

I think for me, the part that didn't quite land was towards the end when Swan gave the speech about having suffered enough, which felt a little unnatural imo. It was good in that it showed how her recent ordeals have changed her and given her determination that she might not have had otherwise, and the bit about Wendigo stealing her revenge was beautiful, but at the same time, it felt like one of those spontaneous monologues villains give for no reason other than to explain everything to the audience. I think you could have portrayed all of that more naturally by either splitting it up across multiple interactions with other characters sort of prompting those ideas out of her, or showing flashbacks or something so the reader sees what's in her mind without her speaking it out loud. Of course, that probably would have made the comic even longer for you, so it's totally understandable that you went with the solution you settled on. Hopefully that's at least somewhat helpful anyways haha.

Bottom line, though? You churned out another comic with a high page count, beautiful visuals, and an emotionally engaging plot, and I think you more than proved yourself worthy of being one of VOID's Heavyweight artists! Whether you win or lose this match, you've done something spectacular here!

Spoiler: Kozispoon • show
I wish I had something helpful to tell you to fix, but I just can't think of anything! I love your use of color to accent each character, I love how fucked up Remy and Lu are, I love that you showed Remy really struggling and having to get creative with all of his opponents, and I especially love (but also kinda hate) the ambiguity of the ending. I can't wait to find out where his story goes next, but I also kinda wouldn't mind if it just ended there, because ambiguous endings give me some sort of masochistic satisfaction haha.

Spoiler: Monday • show
First off, your style and especially the way you reimagined each of your opponents is delicious! I think your use of color here really helps clarify things visually, which is something I think you've run into problems with in the past. On the other hand, your comic feels very dialogue-heavy, and it's hard to keep track of all the details in your world. That's not always a bad thing, but if you expect people to keep track of who's who and what's what outside of the things we already know (i.e. other VOID characters, etc.), it would help to introduce details to us a little more slowly so they can sink in a bit better. Some of the dialogue you could probably just cut out completely to give more emphasis to the action that's going on. I get that the setting of this character's story lends itself a bit to wordiness, so I can't be that hard on you, but as a reader it makes things feel a bit dense. I think possibly a better bit of advice would be to watch out for your speech bubbles and make sure they have enough space for the words to breathe without shrinking them down too far. Cut details out of people's speech if necessary to make it easier to read. Also, wide bubbles are easier to read than tall bubbles when it's in English, so keep that in mind. Overall though, I loved this comic! I love the setting you've created for Usagi, and it's awesome to see how you reimagined each character to fit into that world. Definitely the kind of world I could get lost in! I hope you make more Usagi comics, because I want to see more of this world!

Spoiler: Kubo • show
It always sucks when you run out of time for a comic, but I have to say that I'm impressed at how well I'm able to follow the pages where you ran out of time to add dialogue! You've done a good job of communicating through body language, composition, etc. so mad props for that! I'm loving your visuals, even where they're incomplete. Wendigo's face at the bottom of page 36 is priceless. I love how seamlessly you've woven all the characters' stories together and showcased their powers in such fun ways. It's cool to see stuff like Old Docks vs NVCPD going on in a comic that didn't have to have them in it. The collaborative nature of it all is something I really love about VOID, and you did a great job of showing it off here. Again, it sucks that you didn't finish the whole comic, but you still kept me interested and made me want to read more of everyone's comics, so bravo to you for that!

Spoiler: Ponbiki • show
First off, all those cameos make my heart happy. It takes a lot of work to find and draw all those characters, but it really makes the world feel populated by real people. And I love the sort of frenetic, gritty feel to your inks. They might not look as refined or clear as they maybe could if you'd had more time, but you really make it work! Story-wise, I really love how you've set up unique goals for each character that are independent of each other, but end up crossing over into one meta-narrative that makes your comic feel like something that might happen in real life, where people just happen to run into each other and their fates become entangled rather than everything being planned out in advance. It's cool to see that deviation from what a lot of other artists have done with this battle. And that last page, while not super clear to me, hints at something really cool that I wish you'd been able to expand on more. I'm not sure if that was meant as a cliffhanger (I think it sort of works, but I lack some of the context to make it really work and that's totally on me) or if you just ran out of time, but it was cool nonetheless. Honestly, most of the improvements I could recommend are probably just the result of limited time, so I guess the bottom line is to be careful with how you budget your time and make sure to scale back if you're running behind schedule instead of risking an incomplete comic. Despite all that, it was a pleasure to read! Your stuff is always welcome, and I'd love to see more from you in the near future!

Spoiler: Jaykat • show
I've really been looking forward to your comic. I feel like you've proven yourself as a force to be reckoned with over and over lately, and I hope that only continues to grow! I've also just been looking forward to what you'll do next with Swan, because I'm invested in her story, especially in this troublesome period in her life.

I enjoy your approach to this comic of using all the participants as avatars for Swan's inner struggles. There's something really cool about it, as if she's absorbed these people around her and latched onto them as some sort of connection to who she is as a person. It gives you a good chance to show off your opponents and give them fair treatment while also furthering Swan's personal journey at a time when she really needs that internal focus.

You've done something really great here that some of the others struggled with. You created a really solid comic, both visually and with your writing, and made sure to schedule yourself so that you were able to finish everything to a satisfactory level of completeness. I really enjoyed this comic, and I'm so excited to see what's next for Swan!

Side note: if I'm not mistaken, the font you're using is Mighty Zeo. I actually based my handwriting off of that in high school after I got sick of my friends calling my handwriting "chicken scratches." My handwriting doesn't look like it anymore, but it still helped me improve my handwriting in general. ~*The More You Know*~

Spoiler: Goldie • show
Okay, first off? Usagi is adorable and I want to squeeze him. And just in general, I love how you've drawn each character. Your art is beautiful, and even when unfinished I just love to see it! Also you get extra points for ~*MAGICAL GIRL ADVENTURES*~ Makes me jealous, but then again that's sort of Tiffany's whole point haha.

Okay so I didn't realize "drongo" was actually a slang word in Australia! I thought it was just a silly variation they came up with for a D&D podcast I listen to called "Dungeons and Drongos" haha. Just wanted to give you extra points for that attention to detail.

So apparently this is turning into me live Tweeting my reading of this comic. I ALSO WANT TO SQUEEZE POLTERDOT OML. Also I'm dying at page 20. I got so caught up in the ~*Magical Girl*~ aesthetic of this comic that I forgot that her powers are actually kind of terrifying.

Overall, it's a shame you weren't able to finish this comic. I'm so invested in it, and I loved the story despite some of it just being sketches. I hope this isn't the end for our favorite magical girl!

Spoiler: Radji • show
So to start with, I'm loving the jaded, almost fatalistic attitude that Kurt brings into this whole ordeal, and seeing everybody just going hog wild beating each other up makes me nostalgic for the early days of VOID where every comic was just a brawl between powerful characters. I was going to mention that Kurt seems completely overpowered, almost invincible, but then you showed me how he struggles against entities even more powerful than him (or at least at a similar level of power). You showed him failing, suffering, struggling, and that's what really pulled me in. I want to know more about how these alternate timelines affect his view of the world and how he chooses which timelines to stay in, to move forward with. I think I would have liked to see your opponents shine a bit more, since they seemed like side characters rather than being an important part of the plot, but overall I still enjoyed your comic! You didn't disappoint :)

Monday
Artist
950 comments
# 32   Posted: Jun 24 2019, 03:09 AM
Shen: Your piece gave the foremost feelng of what a Battle Royale would be like, and the inclusion of a [LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE] brings about dark implications of how far down the world has gone. Character interactions twist and turn around the labyrinth and most plotlines persist even unto its bloody end with some characters continuing to influence the game even after death.  I get the feeling that this Maze is a projection of Gray's thoughts of others and herself, it is a twisted realm fated to only see her suffer and others to suffer with her and so it's doomed to descend indefinitely. Following this train of thought it was refreshing that Gray finally discovered something important about herself after all that, and that there is a promise that it could all repeat again in some incarnation or another.  

Kozi:
Your comic stands head and shoulders above the rest for being the most complete and intentionally driven volume of work. To begin with, Remy as a character requires such a high level of writing mastery to handle as the character himself has layers of complexity that all play on his amoral nature. His relationship with Lu , along with those he held close to him all paint a driving picture of who he is and what drives him while all others are simply obstacles or bystanders to his goal, and usually it's committing some kind of atrocity just to get some rare item drop. (To use a video game terminology.) His interactions with other fighters (with the exception of Estrella) are therefore limited to people that hold utter contempt against him, or those who he finds use with just like most proper villains. And it's because of this that he will highhandedly causes multiple people to diverge from their paths in spite of or despite of him.  As a reader I find myself actually /relieved/ that Usagi got out of this either maimed or fatherless as a result, while all others were either humiliated beyond repair, traumatized, or scarred for life. And this calls back on the unique properties of void, in that everyone is free to run with these cookie crumbs and dive off the deep end with them or simply follow their own path.   But why would you ? When this perfectly good piece of work just gave you a great villain and a motivation for many comics to come.

Some weird quibbles I found: Remy's soul counter doesn't seem to get an explanation, and when it finally cracks open and "drains" there doesn't seem to be a consequence to it other than he loses them.  Maybe I missed some nuances in all his other comics since much of his Voodoocraft is presented as a near slice of life pursuit with not many rules being established. Again, it's a quibble.

PS. I think Remy picked BOTH.

Jcee:  Like always this was an elegant comic from you, the pages are polished, the plot is straightforward, everyone gets a role and everything is neat and even. Every fighter is presented as some near mythic encounter and the fantastical elements call back to why I get excited over making comics. It calls to mind how and when swan met all the other characters before or what the rules are for this Labyrinth-verse that Estrella is starting to get a reputation for.  Characters as Symbolic figments got me a bit excited when I see X as a pure concept of Y. And I can say for certain Usagi's was flattering. Everything was on the nose and direct, and all conflict was clear cut. Best of all is that each character had different treatments and shapes. The action segments here were among my favorite and the art is just so gorgeous especially when it confronts different aspects of her insecurity , her strength , her trauma, and her potential to change.  But in the end this was a safe comic, divorced from the conflict of all the other characters and depending when you read this comic, could have easily taken place before or after the events in Kozi's which affected my read of it.

2/???

Monday
Artist
950 comments
# 31   Posted: Jun 24 2019, 02:03 AM
After reading a treat like this one, I feel it wouldn't be constructive for me to point out faults or comment on what could be done better since personally I have a very easy time understanding intent in a story and so I'll focus on what could make something already good - Better.  

First off I feel that overall everyone got what they wanted plotwise from these entries and as a piece in each character's master history will stand out as each others' pivotal moments even at the exclusion of other canons - or - even with the inclusion of every other participants'. And that's where all the beauty naturally lies, when 8 people in relative isolation from each other - save for a single chatroom where we terrorize each other with progress pages and cry in agony, the resultant tapestry of conflict, violence, intrigue, and above all , character growth made everyone and themselves a key component to each others' plot. It would be an understatement to say that void battles should aspire to this combination of plausible continuity while still retaining an independent core to their own.

  Everyone here poured their hearts out, I personally, lost hours in other obligations to meet the requirements this comic asked of me and I suspected that one among us had a breakdown from putting out so much content. So to critique this would be an undertaking but we'd appreciate it nonetheless. Above all , just enjoy it, and root for the one you wish to win, as the reader, you now have agency over a pivotal moment in this small piece of Void's Versustory.

So let's get down to it . . .. [1/ ??]


Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 30   Posted: Jun 23 2019, 04:04 AM
KUBO- I think out of everyone I was most worried about you. You were the variable. The oldschool vet who left and came back with art that's not only completely changed, but totally glowed up. Not to mention came out on top with your first couple battles with Wendigo. All of this before Heavyweight, so for sure I knew you were gonna bring it.

Your action scenes are killer. You went with so many creative ways to deal with each opponent and set them up against one another like chess pieces on a board. I think your strongest moments were how you dealt with Estrella as well as Remy. The aerial brawl between both boys was really intense and the cool reveal that Wendigo's consumption of Cygnet informs him of all of Remy's exploits and influences his desire to beat Remy up was awesome. I was wondering how these hommunculi would sway Wendigo and this was a neat veer. The way the curse translated once he hits the ground by pulverizing the nearby VCPD totally left me laughing. Super creative!

Estrella taking all the souls that were sucked out to fashion a death weapon was baller. It felt organic, but also had a sci fi futurism that felt really on brand for her. You have a real eye for pacing and angles with how you followed her and uni-digo in their acrobatic showdown. It's only a shame it seems you were pressed for time as I think these pages done to your fullest ability would've looked rad.

 I think in some ways your comic works well and allows the art to speak for itself, and in other ways left me feeling a bit lost. I know you were pressed for time on your dialogue and word bubbles, so I totally understand the typos and blank bits, but there are some blank moments I really think an exchange or finding out what someone was saying would've helped. Also I don't wanna drop no spoilers, but I do want to note that I know you used this heavyweight to set the scene for things to come, but I think you got too innered to the details of that, that for those of us not privvy to it, some moments feel incongruous to the rest of the story.

I think of all the opponents involved, Gray and Usagi seem to be sidelined for the bigger hook of Remy, Swan, Kurt and Estrella. I tried to look and see how Gray factors with the Naufrages, but it may of been on a dialogue-less page. Though, your opponents aside, I think the biggest thing for me was that your own character felt sidelined for this bigger summoning story. I had hoped this heavyweight would've been a chance to get to know Wendigo beyond the hunger and really get a chance to delve into his head and see some interactions- much like the one made with Cygnet, but overall I'm uncertain as to why he's there. He seems to almost wander into the fray produced by Gray and Lu's machinations despite having nothing to do with it. The mini army of hommunculi you ominously alluded to a couple pages before the final act never show up for the final showdown and seem inconsequential to the story.

You provide the first vestiges of something between Wendigo and Swan by the end, but there is no peek into his thoughts or what he may of said that prompted him to bring her back to life. A parting word or sentiment- even a selfish one would've really made the end stand out and given us just a bit more depth into your character.

JCEE- This was such a flippin solid comic. Great framework, wonderful set up and a surprising cerebral foray into Swans inner demons made manifest by none other than the opponents in this Heavyweight. It's been so neat to see you crafting this journey post scar match with how Swan is dealing, and how diddling with VOID city's local alien therapist could go so wrong when Estrella decides to meddle.  Your story beats are super tight and really leave no loose ends to my mind as I follow along. In one page you establish Estrella as impish, looking to stir the pot and lured by Swans fear and pain. You echo back to the Vektran helping Swan by giving Estrella the notion this is still therapy, but VOID style.

You didn't even bother to try and establish reasons as to why all these folks would cross paths with her- you made all of these characters work for you and your Voiders narrative, and I find that incredibly clever. Even though the characters weren't really themselves, I think you still had them symbolize aspects that still honored your opponents but also allowed them to represent who they are.  Like Usagi as justice and Crikey as heroic pride? Perfect. The visual representation where she touches them and they go from crumbling to whole makes it super clear Swan is ready to heal these parts of herself and stop running away as she moves onto the next challenge.

You set up such a nice theme with Crikey and Usagi it's a bit unclear what Kurt and Wendigo represent. I may of missed it, but I don't seem to see anywhere they mention or visually show off what they represent or what part of herself Swan is struggling with. You established such a cool concept, it's a shame that these two just seem like a straight brawl with no real connection to the mental journey Swan is supposed to be going through.

I was so pumped to see her finally stand up to her own terror when she drives the knife in the table and outright refuses dream Remy. I will admit, it's a shame to see this interaction and well as the others are ultimately moot as it really is just Swan dealing with what's in her head. All I find myself thinking is I wish she'd done this in real life. All in all though, this took things in such a different direction as far as Heavyweight goes and I dug it.



OPStellar
3 comments
# 29   Posted: Jun 22 2019, 09:24 AM
I was thinking about Gray's rash, death-bringer behavior towards the end, and then something shocking occurred to me:
What if Gray intentionally died to the red-haired woman? What if she had some plan in allowing that to happen?
The plot thickens!!!

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
456 comments
# 28   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 11:06 PM
Shen: I love this comic, the set up is awesome and the ending is great, in particular I love the line "by the way, almost no one bet on you" is so good and i love interpreting it in a meta way. It feels like Gray in this comic is kind of a way to express the emotions you felt while making this. Also your tooney style mixes with the violence and detailed gore in a wonderful way in this, your style isn't traditionally attractive but it doesn't need to be and it's nice how it works in this. This also felt like an actual battle royale. It's also cool how you sidelined the Swan, remy thing by having them never get a chance to interact. This is some of your best stuff and I really love it.

Kozi: the quality you make for your comics is top notch and some of the best on the site. Also Lu is a fantastic villain and this reveal was really cool. However I don't like the ending, the comic teases that remy has to pay a heavy price however we don't get to see that price and by the ending it looks like he got off scot free and with both paths still open to him.
You mentioned you were going for an ambiguous ending but I feel like this ending says to much and is not ambiguous enough.  With the ending as is we see he got a new tittybird (I like how that's what he calls it and that's what I will call it) which means he still has power, so he choose power.  Because he had to choose either power or truth it would mean that the price of one is the loss of other (especially when they're a huge cost), so it wouldn't make sense for him to get a new tittybird if he choose truth because he would still have access to power. However we don't see the loss of truth or rather,  which would be the inability for him to gain knowledge.  The last page makes the choice unambiguous but also doesn't give the reader the satisfaction of seeing remy suffer the cost. To have left this more ambiguous I feel like this should have ended with Estrella pointing towards a path and remy walking down it without the reading know what path he walked. Either way I do want to see the cost in future comics and how the relationship between Lu and remy continues.

Monday: This AU stuff is super cool and I like your interpretations of all the other characters and I'm always a fan of your style. I don't fully get everything when i first read it through but I kind of like that because i can read through it more to try and figure it all out. Like on the second time I got the recorruing joke of "____ is the supreme enemy of the samurai" My favorite interpretation of the other characters is what you did with crickey.

It is hard to crit on all of these but they are all amazing and I will keep on critting on the rest of them as i work on those crits.

Pita
Think Tank
207 comments
# 27   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 07:28 PM
Hazel: >Cough, cough< Typo on page 27 >Cough<.
Is this ongoing?
Quote
I'm sure you mean well with this comment and you're trying to help,
but I'm certain that they're well aware of typos they can't fix.

Mistakes happen, we move on.

What are your thoughts on the stories?  The visuals?  We'd love to hear from you!

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 26   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 05:29 PM

PONBIKI- As the outlier who rocked this tournament with traditional inks, you not only stand toe to toe with us digital denizens, but you delivered. Your inks are so heavy and unapologetic ally in your face. It’s clear you take to your canvas without any apprehension, which- as someone who is lowkey reticent around a blank paper is something I aspire to. This comic wasn’t polished, and I mean that as a compliment. There’s an ease and grit to it that makes it feel organic and natural- like putting on your favorite pair of old jeans. You gave us a total throwback to old VOID with this that was totally rock and roll- which ironically was your comic setting and venue.

The way you draw ladies is bodacious- this is a world where there isn’t just an average female joe milling about, and while that may not be everyone’s tastes, I like it. It harkens back to the old school comic bombshells. It’s just a shame you don’t see this degree of sex appeal with the male characters in play within the comic.

Page 8 and the setting of all the pieces on this concert chessboard was a great visual, not to mention a fabulous angle. It let the reader see where everyone was a you one by one lead us through each encounter between characters. I think the exchange between swan Remy and Gray was your most creative. Not to echo Pyras, but that was not only clever, but an ingenious way to ‘defeat’ Remy in a truly haunting way without inflicting physical damage. Also the friendship between the ladies that ensues was unexpected ,but really nice.

You had me throughout, but when we get to the end with Kurt the story veers somewhere that leaves me with whiplash. Where’d Estrella take Kurt to? Is he out back, or in some otherworldly hellscape? The transition and reasons aren’t really clear. Additionally, I don’t know how Diov city factors in- much less how the entire comic built to that. The visual of ultimate death Estrella is really cool, but I feel like I changed the channel onto a completely different show with actors I recognize.
Overall, I had hoped to know more about Estrella, or see some development to her character, but it seems your comic was more focused on resolving the interactions of your opponents instead of unpacking one of Voids more mysterious characters.

MONDAY-
As someone who pulled away from the pack to not only try and get your comic full color, but also utilize some painterly techniques on top of photographs, this was an interesting visual foray into something new. I think we can all agree this alternate universe idea was radical- it was so much fun to see your reimagining’s of all the folks in heavyweight to fit this feudal Japan universe. I think my favorite was especially Swan. She had this bad boy from highschool, secret police look about her that I appreciated. Also the reinvention of her superhero facemask was excellent.
We open on Usagi taking on a duty to make the world a better place to atone for his shame and be this lady’s sword and executioner. It’s a solid hook, which left me assuming we’d see Usagi making his way through the opponents of heavyweight in this lady’s name.

But then, as the story goes on, the motivation changes. You specifically have one panel where Swan details the entire plot. The whole motivation of the characters and setting they’re all headed to. I’m excited because it sounds like an island hunger games style brawl fest. Granted, I wanted to see Usagi go on his executioners, quest but sure. We can change gears. There’s a lot of sudden veers to events and story that leave me going back pages wondering where and when things were hinted at or set up for, because they seem to spring out of nowhere.

I keep being told by you and others that your comics are a slow burn. They’re cerebral, you have to read them slowly, but honestly, regardless of speed, I find your storytelling to be needlessly meandering and abstract. That may just be my own ignorance peeking out, but this felt like a lot of initial build up to set up the story which ultimately wanders off in a different direction at the end.

Gray turns out to be a cool sleeper character who hulks out into an ogre and threat to the party. A fight ensues and there’s passionate positions as to Gray’s fat throughout, but I’m wondering why. We don’t have any set up that these people care that much about her, Gray’s character development in this comic is at best- she’s simple and child-like and there is no real moment to explain why Usagi and Swan have such strong stances over her fate.
It all culminates in an ogre killing fest on the ship and this great island set up we had on page 9 goes nowhere. We have a page where Estrella explains away the reasons as to why we wont get this cool event because the characters messed things up, but I feel this was more exposition to possibly justify the lack of time.

OPStellar
3 comments
# 25   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 02:00 PM
>Cough, cough< Typo on page 27 >Cough<.
I'm new here and want to know... Is this an ongoing comic?

Hellis
Artist
256 comments
# 24   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 11:43 AM
I am still writing up crits. But just know all of you are the kind of artists I aspire to one day be myself. This was madness how good it was. Heavyweight indeed!

William_Duel
Community Manager
930 comments
# 23   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 09:34 AM
If there's one takeaway from the Heavyweight event it's that we should all aspire to quality page counts so large it stresses the site.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 22   Posted: Jun 21 2019, 02:52 AM
This was SUCH an undertaking and I now know the true meaning of why this is called the HEAVYWEIGHT tournament. Reading all these comics was such a treat and the different directions people went (and some of similarities!) were so exciting to follow along with. I got lotsa feels and thoughts on each, so I'll be splitting my feedback so we don't end up with a massive wall of text. XD THAT SAID-

RADJI- For those who don't know, Radji is INCREDIBLY generous with not only sharing his process, but providing the tools and techniques he uses to make comics. We had a heavyweight Discord group to swap ideas and answer character questions where he kindly provided all the cool watercolor textures he used in hi side of the battle. Those had to be my favorite bit. They added such a dreamy ambiance throughout your pages.

Amidst the dreamscape you infuse such a neat sci-fi touch. Kurt's electric effects and light arcs were SO COOL. It was such a shocking splash of intensity each time it was utilized. Even better when they paired with your absolutely fabulous sound effects. I think out of us all you give your fonts and lettering the best personality and edginess that they really enhance your action and fights scenes. I'm definitely inspired to push my own lettering now!

Also while your textures and inks were really fantastic, I wish you'd found ways to pull the characters and important elements to the fore. You have such intense inks and a dark texture that it gets a bit muddy. the best example I can remember is the bottom right panel of page 7 where Wendigo's spine gets broken. My first thought would be that if you'd used a white outline to pull both characters out of the inks/texture it would've been more stark and read better.

I think your action and violence is really clear and strong, but your storytelling and narrative is a bit more difficult to follow. Why'd Kurt leave Polterdot in the alley?? XD For as much concern and care he had over keeping her from the battle ahead, why leave her in a seedy alley? I hope and assume maybe he took her back home or found a safe place to stash her, but I wish there was a clearer hint as to where she was and how she ultimately makes her way back to help and sacrifice herself. I'm still confused as to why she turned into a little girl by the end. Does her death negate the doll form? Is this just Kurts idealized point of view where he see's them both as normal humans? If he can stop time, why couldn't he stop events throughout the whole group, portal hop from person to person and contain the situation? Kurt's powers are so overwhelmingly powerful, it leaves me as a reader wondering why he's choosing to do this the hard way. especially when he has foreknowledge of other timelines knowing this all ends bad.

We get alot of cliffhangers by the end, which was a surprising choice for a one round battle royale tournament. Like, what's Polterdot back from? Does she make it? What did Kurts rage summon? Where was Jowee this entire time and why wasn't she established or touched upon before we see her with her water breaking?


GOLDIE- This was such a neat departure from the tournament format and played SO WELL to Crikey's trope in an incredibly fun way. You did away with everyone myriad of styles and reinvented them to not only fit your universe, but adopt a traditional role. We've all seen a sailor moon episode, so we knew the mechanics, but you still made it unique. You didn't so much carbon copy the formula but instead made a spiritual successor that stands on its own as an edgy series I'd certainly like to see!

I think my favorite bit has to be the redesign of each of your opponents, They all fit within your world, but the personalities weren't compromised. I'll touch on Remy since he's mine, but the subtle nods in his outfit indicating he's an agent of Estrella's was a nice touch.  I loved the swagger, the smirks and the interpretation of his power in such a fun way that brings all the characters together to bring him down. Also can I say I LOVE how you drew him? I'm taking total queues on how to draw his lips and profile based off you now- it was so good!

 I think pairing her and Crikey as part of a fuku team was a clever opening and set up for this surprising betrayal. The sequence where possessed Swan has that small smile and blank gaze was so good. I got total throwbacks to sailor Mercury. The hot pink 'thread of fate' was a cool visual to explain Remy's curse and link to Swan and the scar match.

I know heavyweight was flippin brutal and you were pressed for time, but I adore your design and art so much, I wished that had translated into your backgrounds and environments. I noticed your sequences were incredibly zoomed in to compensate but when backgrounds were unavoidable the photographic/3D backgrounds were technically within theme as you would see the same thing in manga, but they jarringly stand out.

PyrasTerran
Global Moderator
1450 comments
# 21   Posted: Jun 18 2019, 05:46 PM
Congratulations all of you, this was a great read from the first comic to the last, I will be giving more in-depth comments in critiques in a later VCast, I will say one thing though

Re: Berto/Ponbiki comic: the scene of giving Remy prosopagnosia is one of the most inventive forms of damage I have ever seen on the site and I absolutely love it/can't stop thinking about it

Radji
Artist
553 comments
# 20   Posted: Jun 18 2019, 01:04 PM
commenting while munching on fried chicken.

 general critique: with a character such as Estrella, the stories here are all featuring her in various stages of evil Saurolord/red tread of doom, with some variations. I also liked the fact that everyone tended to draw some character with wlightly different outfits. Aside from Estrella and Remi who kind of end up with the same roles, each comics have good character interactions.


Golden: your entry kind of reminded me of the 2014 Armaggedon, especially the part in the Estrella dimension and henchman!Remi .  It's the fastest paced comic of the lot, it's kind of sad it's not entirely finished and that some pages are too big. The trope of this Comic is very magical-girl-ish (duh) reminds me of Miraculous ladybug for some reasons (omg look at human Kurt. That beautiful boi)

Monday: my 2nd favorite comic style-wise. I'm a secret fan of AU void comics (or alt! timeline, whichever) your character is ideal for creative take on Void characters. Your art style is awesome, and even when some pages looks less finished is very easy to follow what happen. The Oni /demons /ogres story was cool. Was like a mix of Berserk sea king arc, et Some FromSoftware shenanigans.

Kubo: Back to wendigo's quest ! the plot thickens. You managed to integrate the event to your timeline well. Seeing the homonculi fueled power up was nice too. Helps better visualizing Wendigo' danger level

Shen: somehow, this one is the only one that feel like a... battle royale to me ^^ with drama and betrayal and BACKSTABS.

Jcee: This basically Swan's healing arc. With clever metaphores.

Kozi: By my beard, you could gives GOT's season 8 directors a lesson or two of effective shock value (free salt here, but you're just that good) we have more insight about Remi's curse. I was a bit confused at the end but now that the correct order of pages is updated,  it's make more sense.  This one comic was the one that made me wade awake cuz my heart was beating.
(i will end you, you evil genius)

Berto: my favorite, style wise and story wise. Gritty ink, good pace, Mayyyyybe the pages could have been a lil smaller? Still works for me. Best character interactions of the entries

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 19   Posted: Jun 18 2019, 02:25 AM

edit: ALL FIXED> READ ON


UGH UGHHH

ONE SINGLE PAGE IS OUT OF ORDER.
And after checking the uploader a dozen times. :<

I notified staff to see if they can fix it, but for those interested, please read pg 30 and THEN pg 36. The rest of the comic is in proper order.

Monday
Artist
950 comments
# 18   Posted: Jun 18 2019, 12:06 AM
At last I can pull out this IV !

kubo
Artist
105 comments
# 17   Posted: Jun 18 2019, 12:01 AM
Uploaded! Unfortunately I was overly ambitious and so was not able to add all the dialogue or clean up the last pages. That being said, While I am not proud of every part of this comic, I do thing it is enjoyable and I hope you do too.

Shen
Artist
1322 comments
# 16   Posted: Jun 17 2019, 10:40 PM
please go easy on me i made a 50 page comic in a month and a half for free and its my birthday

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1129 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 17 2019, 11:20 AM
I’m also uploaded and set to go! So excited to read everyone else’s battles!

PONBIKI
Artist
184 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 17 2019, 09:33 AM
Pages fixed and re-uploaded!

Good luck everyone!


PONBIKI
Artist
184 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 16 2019, 08:06 PM
Uploaded!

So excited to see everyone's entries. Enjoy

JCee
Artist
385 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 09:44 PM
Submitted!!
(Now I can rest in pieces at last)

Been really long and hectic on my end, don't feel like it's perfect or anything, but I'm just glad that it's done, and I am so happy to have had the chance to battle you guys! Looking forward to seeing your sides!!

Camel
Artist
100 comments
# 11   Posted: May 7 2019, 01:00 PM
this one's gonna be for the history books!

zee
Artist
131 comments
# 10   Posted: May 6 2019, 09:41 PM
There's a lot of raw power here, I'm so looking forward to this.

OberGoat
Artist
45 comments
# 9   Posted: May 6 2019, 01:27 PM
Entervoid: Endgame

PONBIKI
Artist
184 comments
# 8   Posted: May 6 2019, 10:08 AM
Good luck everyone lets have some fun.

Sean
Approval Committee
359 comments
# 7   Posted: May 6 2019, 07:59 AM
Give me all the blood shed, please and thank you!

kubo
Artist
105 comments
# 6   Posted: May 6 2019, 03:59 AM
*salivates heavily*

Shen
Artist
1322 comments
# 5   Posted: May 6 2019, 02:38 AM
oh my god i'm going to die

Golden
Artist
48 comments
# 4   Posted: May 6 2019, 01:15 AM
Ahh sh#t, here we go again!

Radji
Artist
553 comments
# 3   Posted: May 6 2019, 01:01 AM
Dread it...
Hide from...
Heavyweight still arrives

JCee
Artist
385 comments
# 2   Posted: May 6 2019, 12:55 AM
*WHEEZES HEAVILY*

....LET'S DO THIS.

Wubble
Artist
91 comments
# 1   Posted: May 6 2019, 12:54 AM
BIG NAMES FOR BIG FIGHT

Don't let me down y'all, give it your all and then some!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Jun 30th, 2019
Votes Cast: 31
Page Views: 3359
Winner: Kozispoon
 

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