Intro Story / Akira Matzugi

Intro Story / Akira Matzugi

Intro Story — Akira Matzugi

by Hellis

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Critiques & Comments
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Global Moderator
# 8   Posted: Apr 17 2018, 10:54 AM
Akira Akiraaaaa
Welcome aboard the bandwagon to our newest vamp. Really solid and to the point intro for a character. I got who he is, what he does and what he's into in nothing more than two pages. I would be remiss if I didn't mention your inks. Really hack away at your line variation and neatness.While your inks are 'cleaned up', it still gives a haphazard edge.

Also, to reiterate- based off all the flamboyant and bright outfit variations in the ref sheet, I feel your last page was a real missed opportunity. You build up to the declaration that Akira is the light and he's wearing his darkest outfit. It makes for a pretty subdued and dull reveal.

Still, I am thirty to get my claws into this dude for some battling. Welcome!

Approval Committee
# 7   Posted: Apr 17 2018, 10:15 AM
congrats on getting him in!

I think you should have more contrast in your shading. maybe use colors like blue/purple for shadows, instead of slightly darker shades of the base color. I'd also like to see you experiment more with color! akira is at a nightclub at the end with a crazy disco light on him, I'd love to see his colors reflect that!

I'll also say the final panel is kinda awkward with akira's feet cut off at the bottom.

looking forward to seeing more with him!

Community Manager
# 6   Posted: Apr 14 2018, 05:16 PM
That was a pretty cool intro that was simple and to the point. I really like the final pose. I guess the only thing i could say is maybe a little show with the fact he can go places where other vampires can't. Like maybe having him go through a vampire nightclub to walk outside it to a sunrise would have had a good effect of showing the special abilities.

# 5   Posted: Apr 11 2018, 10:26 PM
The only panel I don't like here is that second one on the first page,  for the previously mentioned gradient, and for the awkward beat it creates due to the distance and flat angle.

The two pages you have are well done,  but I would have liked to see more of his personality, and maybe some use of his powers. If he was just a typical vampire, we could imagine what his abilities are, but he seems to be a different breed, so what makes him different in that regard? Is he a good guy or a bad guy? That sort of stuff.

Also as a minor note, while I love the details of the personal effects on the desk and wall, the cylindrical objects have no volume,  particularly the candle. Work on shading to indicate those round,  three dimensional forms, because everything is made of them, especially people.

I love this character,  and this intro certainly does the job of piquing our interest. I know we'll be seeing more of Akira very soon.

Edit: It's worth mentioning that I always read intro comics before character bios, so having just looked at Akira's design sheet and read his bio, all the questions I had reading this comic are answered. When taken in context of his bio page, this short and sweet intro is great.  Whether an intro comic should stand on its own without the reference page is another matter.

But yeah, great ref sheet and character bio,  too.

Global Moderator
# 4   Posted: Apr 11 2018, 07:52 PM
AH, I'm so happy to see that Akira got in!

I also enjoyed this intro! It's enough to know about his personality yet certainly doesn't show much else really, especially concerning his vampirism and a  more definite preview of the powers that come with it. Though, on the subject of his vampirism, the script is a nice play on that and his party-going attitude.

The lineart I believe could do with a little more cleanup, as well as the coloring. There are portions of the pages that have uncolored pixels, or the colors themselves are a bit outside of the lineart itself. For the second panel of the first page, I question the use of that gradient for the background instead of just having another brick wall, especially when the gradient isn't referred to in the comic again.

But regardless, I'm real happy to see that he got in! Can't wait ta' see what you'll be doing with him. : D

# 3   Posted: Apr 11 2018, 04:12 PM

I actually dig this short and sweet intro. I feel like your choice of words and the actions really set the tone for Akira’s personality. Sure, we want to know about this interesting vamp, so hopefully we get to see him in action very soon!

I really liked the color pallette you choose for the first page. Even though the colors are a little muted, the colors you choose for his possessions stood out against the furniture. That said, I think adding a teensy bit of shading could have brought that pop out a little more.

Some of your figures are a little stiff, and I’d recommend just gettin at some gesture draws- particularlary some dancing gestures since ya boy seems to enjoy that. It was a little weird seeing that the crowd in the last panel seemed to be more fluid and less rigid in their poses than the star!

I want to see dis beautiful dude battling stat!

Corn Of The Breads
# 2   Posted: Apr 11 2018, 03:34 PM
A very intresting vampire, and I think the comics looks nice even though you messed up on page 2 at least there isnt a ton of information or words that would be hard to read so it wasnt that bad, My only gripe is I dont think I got much of a feel for the character out of this story Id have loved to see how their powers work or how they use them.

# 1   Posted: Apr 11 2018, 03:31 PM
Seems I fucked up the second page resizing. Thats quite silly of me.

Comic Details -

Ended: Apr 18th, 2018
Votes Cast: 22
Page Views: 870

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