RETRIBUTION / Wizzie Belles vs. Miyajima Minori

RETRIBUTION / Wizzie Belles vs. Miyajima Minori

RETRIBUTION — Wizzie Belles vs. Miyajima Minori

601 points
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Crit level: No preference

by Jiisuri

539 points
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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 11   Posted: May 1 2018, 10:30 AM
Thanks for the comments and the votes guys. And thank you Hats for the awesome fight. It was a pleasure and, despite my loss, this battle really opened up more things for me both on a technical standpoint and on a void narrative standpoint.

I await more Retribution matches guys~

Happy August 18th! -Reecer6
# 10   Posted: May 1 2018, 08:44 AM
whoops, let this slide and didn't vote. i figure i should give you guys quick critiques (containing no critiques actually just compliments) for such a good and kinda underlooked battle!

Hats: Phenomenal stuff, as usual! You have such an aptitude with filling panels and making use of every little chunk of negative space, and the special effects and smoke clouds are lovely. The one page of color was definitely used with great effect, and I'm super in awe of your ability to chart out and line such dynamic effects like that, and all the hair. The occasion of the peaceful forest retreat was really sentimental, and I'm a sucker for a comedically ironically ending like that. Very very very very incredibly great!

Jii: I haven't seen anything with Minori before, or in fact, any of your polished linework at all (sorry about that, I ought to do more archive bingeing), so I didn't really know what to expect, especially given the messy sketches I've seen, but I'm super impressed! I love the thin lifework, and the way you work your little pockets of spot black. The more pedestrian panels did feel a little flat, but the dynamic ones were really dynamic (and that one exterior shot, for some reason). And the way you shade Minori’s hair and, uh, tentacle things is very beautiful! Depicting Wizzie’s whole… spirit guide?? ?? thing like that was interesting! I definitely loved this.

      Edited May 1 2018,  08:44 AM by Happy August 18th! -Reecer6

# 9   Posted: May 1 2018, 07:48 AM
I enjoyed Hat's protrayal of Minori, being a professional to the end.

Global Moderator
# 8   Posted: May 1 2018, 07:08 AM
Great stuff you guys! Hats, your art is top notch gorgeous! Fantastic linework and layout and just everything, im in awe, every panel was so vibrant and incredible! Jii, you really brought it with the story, super epic and exciting battle of the dieties these unwilling women are hosting, id love to see more of it! These were both a blast to read, good show you two!

Community Manager
# 7   Posted: Apr 24 2018, 06:28 PM
great job bringing out the goods for Retribution's maiden battle, both of y'all!

Hats: Visually this comic is really lovely, your inking is top notch as usual and your compositions are dynamite. I enjoy taking my time looking at all the little details you fill each panel with. The story builds up really strong in the first half and it's very easy to understand what is at stake before the sparks fly. However, I think that once the sparks fly, the story starts to get lost. I understand Minori's guards being there to protect her, but based on pages you've drawn before, Minori herself is one of the city's most potent psychics, no stranger to the battlefield, and has been shown to be able to subdue Wizzie herself in an illusion. Add to this, Mammon is present, one of the top list Lawless, and most importantly the man who essentially threatened the life of her child, I don't understand why Minori did not use her powers, and why she gave up on capturing Mammon (or forcibly bringing Wizzie in for that manner, in a potential effort to draw Mammon into a trap). Pre-sparks set up this mother's wrath about to come down, but once Wiz was looking her in the face it kinda felt like a different uncaring personality took over instead, which is Minori's usual front but given that the guy who almost killed his daughter is right over there, and then for her to not really try to apprehend him, it sort of leaves the ending a bit confused, like if the violent conflict was necessary at all. I think the script could have used a little more time to cook, maybe one or two more eyes checking it over.

Jiisuri: This is one of your strongest comics, it's relatively clean and easy to read. You've still got stuff to work on (anatomy and proportions, Wizzie's apartment is dreadfully empty) It was interesting to see what looks like the Spirit trying to steer Wiz on a better path by allowing her to get caught? But one thing that prevented some immersion for me is the utter vagueness of how Minori's powers work now. Since the Long Night, her powers and clairvoyance have essentially been grabbag in how they work/what they do, you even enforce this crypticness in Minori's profile page.. but, while it can be interesting and effective to keep mysteries in the lore of one's character, for the reader to not have a handle on how someone's combat powers work (to the enigmatic degree that is current Minori) can end up with the reader not being able to fully grasp the stakes. and there's still mysteries from the last beyond battle that are still left unanswered. I'm not gonna knock it too hard because these new powers are just 2 comics in so i imagine you're trying to build suspense about it but I hope you don't keep us in the dark for too long, the next conflict Minori is in could suffer otherwise

I hope to see more from both of y'all sooner rather than later

      Edited Apr 24 2018,  06:28 PM by PyrasTerran

# 6   Posted: Apr 24 2018, 09:17 AM
well well well back to the comics
-hats: that was great. i don't have really much else to say, if there is any error it's a thing left to judge to people far more able than me
-jiisuri: action and flow of the comic are v good. even in the most chaotic parts i can always easily understand whats happening, without taking anything from the action and dinamism of the scene.
the thing that strikes me the most about your work is that grey tone over everything. i don't know if you intentionally wanted to include this effect, but some variations of texture would be welcome

Think Tank
# 5   Posted: Apr 24 2018, 08:34 AM
Hats: OH MY FREAKING GOSH I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HOW BEAUTIFUL THIS COMIC OF YOURS WAS YOU HAVE LIKE FREAKING AMAZING STYLE AND THE LIKE! Second, I love how shounen villain you made Minori, there were a number of shots where you had her looking super menacing! Also I super enjoyed how Wizzie and Mammon just camped out for like a month. You have pro level construction of characters!

Jii: Amazing action scene like just wow that was pretty darn crazy!! You also do some really nice faces, and a lot of cool tones, I feel the tones could be pushed a tad more if you made some of them a bit more contrasty BUT LIKE OVERALL STUNNING COMIC GREAT WORK WOW!

# 4   Posted: Apr 23 2018, 10:02 AM
Comic uploaded and thumbs emailed. Best of luck to you too Hats.

# 3   Posted: Apr 22 2018, 09:54 AM
Uploaded my comic (and emailed thumbs to staff) as I'll be away from my computer on uploading day - Best of luck Jii!

# 2   Posted: Apr 2 2018, 06:42 PM
What a glorious time to die.

# 1   Posted: Apr 2 2018, 12:07 PM
oh boy i can't wait to die

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Apr 30th, 2018
Votes Cast: 26
Page Views: 890
Winner: MyHatsEatPeople

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