Self-Confident / Niles Khairi

Self-Confident / Niles Khairi

Self-Confident — Niles Khairi

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Critiques & Comments
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Approval Committee
# 11   Posted: Mar 6 2018, 09:44 AM
I meant to nip this with a crit while it was still up for voting, but must've missed it. ANYWAYS.

I think you hit the nail on the head with your reply. I just didn't get it.  know the monster and the human are the same and they're having some kind of sleep-hallucination conversation with themself but for the life of me i cant figure out about what, and after a couple read throughs, I'm wondering if it mattered if it didnt further plot or reveal anything about the character.
I tried to read the backlog of comics associated with this character to try and get some context over this recent battle, but there is nothing to shed any light on this current battle over the whys and wherefores. I like comics that prompts questions and get you coming back for more, but this was just too puzzling.

# 10   Posted: Mar 2 2018, 07:12 PM
I like how you used a self sustained hallucination to portray the two sides of your character. More questions now than answers but thats what gets people coming back! The two have a clear bitterness to thier relationship.

Very cool!

# 9   Posted: Mar 2 2018, 11:28 AM
Hope y'all don't mind me being unable to requote your comments, because I fear the hijinks of HTML messing with my own reply. But, regardless, I truly appreciate all of the critique that's been given! Especially with paneling/backgrounds, because I do know  that's something I need to improve on alot. So many thanks for the comments and votes, all in all!

About the gist of this story,this is a fault on my part, but uh. This comic was honestly /not/ done to forward anything in particular, and that part is very much obvious throughout the scripts lack of character progression. There was no specific storyline or idea related to Niles I wanted to push into the spotlight with this (Perhaps the implication that yes this is a character with a backstory and problems, as he is talking to his own hallucination of himself about his own decisions, haha. But then again, not even those decisions were described so, apologies.), so all in all I literally...did this on a whim. For practice's sake, really. Sorry bout' that, homies.

And while the difficulty of understanding the comic itself is a major problem, regarding all the critiques I've recieved here or on Discord, I personally enjoyed the several and sometimes different interpretations that others made from it. BUT that in itself is a major problem as well, because if my readers weren't able to enjoy the comic anymore due to the confusion, I should clearly be making a better script. And that, I will definitely try my best to do next time! Clearer script, a more concrete idea for a comic/script, and uh, hopefully much better panelling next time around lmao.
But once again, thank you all for your words! :Dc I'll definitely take em' to heart.

      Edited Mar 2 2018,  11:29 AM by Astrodile

Happy October 14th! -Reecer6
# 8   Posted: Mar 2 2018, 09:51 AM
I super love every individual shot, and the general idea of what's going on, that's all superb, but it's seriously hard for me to parse what's going on other than an internal struggle of sorts. I guess the super high-concept writing is your style, but it really only makes me feel like I'm missing something I should be getting. I dunno.

But yeah, composition wise, I definitely have to agree with throwing in a few wider shots here and there. You're a big fan of chokers, but the reader needs a sense of perspective every now and then, or they'll be choked too.

# 7   Posted: Feb 27 2018, 09:22 PM
Hey!! I'm happy to see a Beyond Battle from you, especially one focused on character psychology like this! I always want to see more this sort of theme in other battles and beyond battles.

I really like the mix of inks and paints you've done (the more painterly effects for the 'dark side' Niles are my favorite). Your lines always have a nice sleekness to them, and the values are also well-painted (again, the 'dark' Niles is the highlight of your rendering for the comic, to me).

However, this is where I get to the critique: the comic is a bit hard to parse. It took a couple readings to understand it was an internal monologue, because it took a minute to remember Niles and Saab are the same character (the title should've given it away, so that's on me).

Another issue that effected the readability was the establishing shots; though I understood that it was a bar, I feel the comic would have done a lot better if you had zoomed out the camera more to give a better idea of the setting. As it is right now, it feels really cramped-- and as I recall, the collab with Wictor also kind of had this problem.

However, I was still able to figure out what you were intending, so don't be disheartened-- it takes a while to get readability knocked out. Your linework and technique is already stellar, so just push the narrative side!
Congrats on your first solo BB! Please make more!

Think Tank
# 6   Posted: Feb 27 2018, 08:50 PM
Really nice comic, and I absolutely love seeing Niles smile. They're both precious sides of him, but if I was to pick, I honestly am super interested in learning more about Niles, he has such a large amount of charisma and seems extra entertaining!

Really nice comic, great tones, and great body language!

# 5   Posted: Feb 25 2018, 07:02 PM
This is an interesting read. I get the impression that He's having a bit of an internal conflict, as though  he's trying to figure out which of his identities is the "real" him, like Niles and Saab are separate entities.

# 4   Posted: Feb 25 2018, 02:01 PM
@Symon Haha good question, but! There was no one that I could specifically name that they were waiting for, currently.

      Edited Feb 25 2018,  02:10 PM by Astrodile

# 3   Posted: Feb 24 2018, 04:32 PM
Them darn hallucinations. So pesky.  Who was Saab actually waiting for?

# 2   Posted: Feb 3 2018, 08:31 PM
Ohhhhhhh YES!!!

# 1   Posted: Feb 3 2018, 11:57 AM
With college applications done, hopefully this'll get me back into the swing of things~
Really looking forward to interacting further with this community in the later days! :]

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Mar 2nd, 2018
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 640

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