Speed Death Tournament 2018, Round 1 / M3W vs. Usagi

Speed Death Tournament 2018, Round 1 / M3W vs. Usagi

Speed Death Tournament 2018, Round 1 — M3W vs. Usagi

687 points
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Crit level: No preference

by Monday

732 points
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Critiques & Comments
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# 16   Posted: Jan 28 2018, 10:56 PM
When I noticed that one of opponents was a building, I knew I would be placed into some great narrative exploration. And I was not disappointed through this 1v1. The way in which each compatent meets their untimely end is very unique, not only by the action that takes place to lead to the death, but also the manner in which the narrative leads to the death.

Corn: HOLY SHIT. Narrative through being lost in this huge building and the opponents' eagerness to track down other opponents to other worldly opponent only meet an untimely death by an accident is very surprising. I genuinely didn't expect that's how it was, but the gruesome manner and the way in which it occurs is very nicely executed. ALSO YIKES THAT FINAL PAGE THAT I JUST REALIZED WHAT IT WAS- makes mE SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE IN A DELIGHTFUL WAY. I would love to see how that would progress, if the opportunity arises.


Ambiguity through action. This is how I would shortly explain this story. If intentional, it was coolly placed within the pages as this character combats their inner demons and history, while fighting a damn house of horrors and it's very introspective. If not intentional, there still is a clear traumatic narrative being presented: If something as hectic as DevilmanCrybaby will be called amazing by people on the internet, I can appreciate the story within the comic and the striking action sequences that are presented within your work. I can't wait to look through all your work and get to see more work in the future!

Overall, the way in which you both attack this 1v1 is successful, in conveying tone, power, and anticipation with how each of these stories would progress. Great work the both of you!

# 15   Posted: Jan 28 2018, 10:32 PM
There were a lot of good ideas suggested by everyone, thank you all for sharing them.

Mister Kent
# 14   Posted: Jan 28 2018, 08:03 PM
Corn - I loved the premise and the way you draw characters, the expressiveness of it all! I'd like to see you work on backgrounds and anatomy, but I really can't wait to read more from you.

Monday - You always have great style, but this is a bit different from your norm, and I love seeing the bunny warrior in action. It was hard to follow in some places, but you won me over with the old school CULLMINATION reference.

# 13   Posted: Jan 28 2018, 11:44 AM
Corn: I'm super hyped that you decided to choose such an unconventional character as a building for this tournament and I would honestly love to see more of this. It's so unusual and I'm really curious where you are thinking on taking the concept.
The dialogue was slightly unfocused and it felt more like filler than helping the story/getting to know the characters. There were a few good well placed lines that got me laughing, but mostly characters just said things without really talking to each other.
I'm a big fan of your dark colour palette and your pointy art style. I think it helped set the mood incredibly well and I especially enjoyed the sharp contrast between light and shadow you used at the very end, even if I had trouble telling what was going on some of the panels.

Monday: I had the same problems with the readability of your comic as some of the others, but your craftsmanship and your skill of capturing motion and action is really frikkin good and you have some wonderful shots throughout the comic.
I don't really get the beginning though, and no matter how many times i read it, I still find myself somewhat lost. I understand that you need the guy with the glasses to explain a few things about the factory, but to me it almost seems like you could have started the story at page 4 and then have the important and needed information span out over page 5+6 via text boxes, told by the main character instead. You have the guy with the glasses pop up again later (as far as I can tell) but even here I'm not sure why.
There is no doubt that you know your tools and know how to use them and I'm sure, a little bit of polish on the line art or a bit more use of gray tones to tell foreground and background apart, would really help to do your awesome art justice.

# 12   Posted: Jan 28 2018, 11:16 AM
I truly enjoyed both of these comics! The setting as a character was something I was trying to play over before I retracted my entry, at least you hadn't gone with a planet as a contestant.

* CORN You chose wisely in putting all the characters in the factory and separating them into "clicks". Dundundun chchch Your conversations were nice and seemed to fit the characters even though we really had no idea about any of their details. But, like mentioned already by others, the character that was most important for you to really make shine was the haunted factory. Perhaps some panned out shots showcasing the robots or machine rooms or assembly lines would have been ideal. But hey, hindsight is 20/20 right? Nice work none the less!

* MONDAY Could you have fit any more action packed slice and dicing in this comic? Maybe. But I couldn't say where. A little history lesson and refresher course for the tragedies against Anthropomorphism and tied your character into the whole "Time to end this factory!" scenario. I do like your character concept of which reminds me of an old Samurai Rabbit from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. However the beginning and end were lost to me. You might have also pulled back a few feet to try and capture the scale of the factory itself. Your opponent 'WAS' the factory but Usagi seemed to cut up a lot of assembled finished product. Super cool! Good luck!

Community Manager
# 11   Posted: Jan 28 2018, 12:11 AM
Corn: The horror them was cool and including all the characters in the story was cool as well. Though artwise things felt a bit stiff and there wasn’t much of a flow between panels at some point. I can’t quite pinpoint why but I think part of it may be the backgrounds and the lack of detail or motion they have, it’s actually kind of odd since your character is the one with the least detail on them. Maybe some more lines in the background on the walls and floors could have helped the panels flow better into each other.
However beyond the flow the bigger thing I want to talk about is your character. Your character is unique and how you went about the story was interesting. But the thing about this character is that while you have to come up with how to fight with a factory, your opponent has to come up with a way to kill a factory. Your opponent ends up having to be much more creative than you since there are a lot more ways to kill a humanoid character than their is a factory. Not too say what you did wasn’t creative, but your character forces the other artist to bring out their most creative solutions in order to kill such an odd and big thing. In my mind, it also makes the other character the underdog and makes it harder to root for your character. I’m just one voter on these comics so take that with a grain of salt but maybe others feel the same thing when seeing battles were one character is such a hard thing to kill like yours. If this wasn’t a death tournament and just like a normal character with non-death battles I don’t think I would have this issue really. I guess just be aware that such a creative character might require other artists to be even more creative to kill it.

Monday: First time reading through this I had a bit of an issue with the motion and feeling like there was too much and it was hard to follow, however relooking at the comic that doesn’t seem to be as much of an issue. Maybe that was because of the panel borders, in some of the pages they aren’t consistent and in general they could be just a tiny bit thicker to give a little more breathing room and split up the action more.
Storywise I really like what you did for both usagi and the M3W and even though I didn’t get the references to previous events they made sense in this context. The only thing I could say is the final page felt like maybe a bit much, specifically the fact about him not remembering any of what happened. While it is good to add a breather page the fact he forgot everything or that it was a dream added a little confusion. Your comic is already jam packed with action and ideas, adding the split personality/amnesia thing at the end made it hard to make the final page a breather page when it raised a couple questions for me. I think maybe just shock that he was actually able to do that would have been good enough. Of Course this is minor and I enjoy your story and Usagi and look forward to seeing more of him.

Happy June 4th! ACAB -Reecer6
# 10   Posted: Jan 24 2018, 12:59 PM

# 9   Posted: Jan 24 2018, 11:32 AM
Reecer:  Your faces are getting better.  I dig the idea of everyone going in and investigating the factory and the resulting "accident" potentially scaring them away.

Monday:  I really like some of these panel layouts.  The action is really good, too.  And then it ends with Usagi getting a invitation to St. Agnes?

Good work, guys.

# 8   Posted: Jan 24 2018, 03:13 AM
Radji: Don't worry, there's quite a bit more to Usagi than their past : ) but I couldn't ignore the potential of this matchup. I would definitely have to work hard to create something just as tall . Thanks for enjoying it !

# 7   Posted: Jan 23 2018, 11:38 AM
@Corn: Your character isby far the most original idea i've seen on the site, and i liked the horror movie vibe going on. But the art quality is somewhat lacking compared to previous works of yours.

Monday: It's so shounen i love it. But now i'm curious how, if he wins, will interact with others, it almost felt to me like he was programmed to fight  M3W and nothing else....not sure if what i say makes sense, hahaha

Web Dev
# 6   Posted: Jan 22 2018, 09:45 AM
@corn: Thoroughly entertaining. I love the way you interpreted all of the characters and their personalities into teenagers just messing around. Johnny's ADHD and everyone writing Usagi off as a theater kid was hilarious. I wish there were more, but then again you only had a week, so this is impressive already.

@monday: I can tell you had a lot of good ideas going into this one, but I had such a hard time telling what was happening throughout the comic. I wasn't sure who was talking most of the time, and there were so many sketchy lines that I couldn't tell what was what inside the factory. I like the reference to cullmination and how you used M3W as a way to destroy some of the last remains of that horrible event in Void City history, and I like the hint at the end about what's coming next in the story. I liked the explosions, too haha. I just wish I could follow the story better.

# 5   Posted: Jan 22 2018, 09:42 AM
Corn: you know I love your take on this SDT. I do feel the thin lineart detracts a bit. Things kinda meld into the backgrounds and I would have loves to see thicker, more confident lineart that make your charachters pop. Writing wise, I feel you won this battle, it was interesting from start to end and I loved the dialogue and the horro movie ending. Good job!

Monday: Your shit is so kinetic, you always make fights look boss and movement impactful. But I do feel it is REALLY hard to follow the comic at times and by the end, I had no idea what just happened. Clean it up, pace yourself a bit more.

# 4   Posted: Jan 22 2018, 09:20 AM
@corn- You really took this in an interesting direction by having the roster all acquainted right off the bat. I look forward to seeing how that plays out as the tournament goes on. the visuals were nice and clear, as were the characterizations displayed. All I can really say is I wish we saw more of the match up between Usagi and the Factory, but with such a limited deadline I can't really complain.

@Monday- The premise of the story starting off was rather interesting, but it just got really confusing as it went along. This is in part due to how you drew it. It's very loose with heavy use of the black inks and it's just really difficult to make out in a lot of areas. There needs to be more distinction between the different elements of the composition, perhaps color would have done the trick, or tightening your inking just a bit. All in All it just is really hard to follow what exactly is happening, which is a shame because in what I could make out there was some really cool stuff.

# 3   Posted: Jan 21 2018, 11:33 PM
Man oh man I'm excited to read this one

# 2   Posted: Jan 18 2018, 01:00 PM
This is the best match up. Just Aces!

E.W. Schneider
# 1   Posted: Jan 18 2018, 10:51 AM
Kill good, my boys!

Comic Details -

Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 28th, 2018
Votes Cast: 35
Page Views: 957
Winner: Monday

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