Johnny Cool vs. Sumiko Nakatomi

Johnny Cool vs. Sumiko Nakatomi

Johnny Cool vs. Sumiko Nakatomi

50%
650 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference


50%
650 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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yarnwitch
Think Tank
278 comments
# 22   Posted: Jan 29 2018, 01:01 PM
Yeah! I'm finally getting a chance to respond! Whew! I definitely need to improve some of my writing. There's a weird disconnect between what I know, what I'd like to show, and this HUGE fear of over-explaining stuff. Its nice to fight with people who write better than I do, like William_Duel, so I can see what makes them successful. Its also nice to be part of a fight that didn't come down to prettier art! HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!

From the comments, I've learned that my limited palette worked out really well, (thank you!) and that maybe the pencil lines I used weren't too defined. I will look into fixing that in the future, as that was definitely an experiment and a gamble this time!

I tried to use a technique called "In Media Res" for this, and I realized from the comments that while *I* may have known whats going on with the bomb, that the joke of "Farewell Party" and the bomb wasn't clear enough. I'll do my best to make the important events foreshadowed and hinted at a bit more!

Symon_says: Icing on the cake: both of them coincide well if you read Yarnwitch's then William_duel's! Not sure if that was planned. But amazing none the less 🤗
Quote
OMG. I DIDNT NOTICE THAT. THAT'S AMAZING.

Symon_says
Artist
93 comments
# 21   Posted: Jan 29 2018, 12:08 PM
Icing on the cake: both of them coincide well if you read Yarnwitch's then William_duel's! Not sure if that was planned. But amazing none the less 🤗

William_Duel
Community Manager
929 comments
# 20   Posted: Jan 29 2018, 05:39 AM
So I want to take this chance to thank everyone for their comments and votes.  This match was a wild and exciting ride.  The votes kept shifting it back and forth to the point that I really wanted to see that tie happen!  And it did!  At the very last moment with the last possible vote!  It was super dramatic!  Hahaha

I'm glad people liked my writing as it's something I felt I never really got to show in my comics.  I was always so focused on being a better artist to express my ideas that up to this point, there was no comic I could point to and claim I was proud of the writing.  

There's no one more frustrated than I am that I couldn't beat the clock and clean up the comic and borders.  But it something to work on.

I know for both yarn and myself there were a lot of unplanned for difficulties during the drawing period.  So I think we both managed ti accomplish alot despite that.  

Id like to thank yarn for going along with my craziness.  Thanks everybody!

Happy May 25th! -Reecer6
Artist
289 comments
# 19   Posted: Jan 27 2018, 10:54 AM
this is a historical moment i've witnessed ;_;

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
498 comments
# 18   Posted: Jan 27 2018, 07:27 AM
my heroes

JCee
Artist
373 comments
# 17   Posted: Jan 27 2018, 04:21 AM
Oh my goodness a tie @__@
Been a while since I last saw a match end up that way.

William_Duel
Community Manager
929 comments
# 16   Posted: Jan 27 2018, 04:11 AM
THERE HASN'T BEEN A TIE IN YEARS, NO, OVER A DECADE.  WE DID IT.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
278 comments
# 15   Posted: Jan 27 2018, 12:00 AM
PERFECT FRICKIN' TIE

Flutterbyes
Artist
254 comments
# 14   Posted: Jan 26 2018, 02:58 PM
Battle of the watercolors! >D

WD: Looks like you didn't have the time to finish ruling your panels, which I assume is why you preserved the "freshly scanned" look. I get the impression you're using a semi-moist watercolor that gets a bit tacky when applied thickly. If so, you may want to paint with that in mind. Where this comic really shines is its sweet story.

Yarnwitch: Oooh, I love how you made this comic glow with that limited palette, and I love how you depicted the characters and posted them. While visually stunning, I'm not feeling the story as much.

Evi
Artist
110 comments
# 13   Posted: Jan 26 2018, 12:48 AM
Yarn: Very pretty use of watercolours, this was visually very pleasing to look at and the pacing flows well. Sumiko is very cute and expressive and I love how that contrasts with your opponent!
I say the story felt like there needed to be more "something" for that ending to be more satisfying; I'm not sure exactly what it is so I'll throw in a few questions you can think about, sorry if it's too nitpicky!
They do interact, but maybe there's not enough personality to really give me a strong impression? It felt like they are only reacting to the plot point; if I just switched out Johnny with another detective character who helped her escape, (besides from his unique abilities) would that have really changed the tone much? or how exactly did this aftermath affect Sumiko personally; what does she do when she returns home? does she tell anyone? is she scared? Why did Johnny decide to take this investigation? I understand the intent of ending the comic to leave more intrigue, but it just needed a bit more clarification to catch my interest. Hope that was helpful!

Will: Your writing was entertaining and enjoyed the humor sprinkled within the comic, loved the dramatic yet heartfelt ending as well. Good use of the mask to convey more emotion.
Solid first page, but like others have already said I wish the rest of the comic were more finished. This definitely was a nice entry for Johnny Cool and I hope to see more of him in the future!

Happy May 25th! -Reecer6
Artist
289 comments
# 12   Posted: Jan 25 2018, 02:16 PM
YOOOOO These comics were both INCREDIBLY EXCELLENT!!! Gotta make a note to self that this is a pretty good contender for Best Battle of 2018, even though it's only January.

Yarn asked me to talk a bit more in specific about her story sooo:
Pacing, for one, was on point! The flash-forward opening + the overall structure is maybe a smidgen formulaic but it's really effective, so that's no issue. I know it doesn't really make sense to think Johnny was being some sort of creepy stalker, but dammit you lead me on that path like a sheep, i am a FOOL. Everything was totally clear to me: Sumiko's being targeted in some fashion, and this was some sort of symbolically-titled ploy. Absolutely top notch classic writing, okay-hand okay-hand okay-hand okay-hand okay-hand!!!!!

Hellis
Artist
226 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 25 2018, 11:47 AM
Willy: Your timing with those jokes were pretty great. I had no idea about Johnny going into this and now I want more comics with him. you hit the story beats pretty well all along the comic and the ending was heartfelt. Gonna echo red and say that if you had cut down a bit on the comic and spent more time on the remaining pages, this would have been even better a comic.

Yarn: Your traditional art is never not fantastic to look at and I envy you your skills girl! The story beats were a little hit and miss, the start was interesting but the pacing felt off and you didn't quite managed to close the narrative loop effectively. It is something I feel that you kinda have to nail when starting with a "earlier that week" sort of narrative.

Red
Council
639 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 21 2018, 04:45 PM
Willy D - I thought the jokes were really good, I actually laughed out loud. It's a solid comic. The story was nice and her speaking in Japanese was a nice touch (although I'm hoping that people who can't read it will understand? I think it's clear??) I definitely like your black and white more than color. Obviously you needed more time to finish this - so next time just try to cut down your page count so you don't have these spots where the quality drops.

Yarn - Your art has leveled up so much. This was a really nice looking comic. I kind of wish there was a bit more contrast at times, but overall it was really nice. I thought starting right off with action then going to "earlier that week" was interesting, but it left me a little underwhelmed with the ending to be honest.

Good job from both of you!

Bobo
Web Dev
926 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 20 2018, 07:28 PM
@Will: I wasn't familiar with Johnny Cool either, and this comic very much made me want more of him. You had an excellent mix of humor, action, and sappy feel-good sentimentality. The way you colored some of the comic and left some of it black and white made it feel more unfinished by contrast. I know you ran into some setbacks and maybe you expected to be able to color the whole thing, but otherwise I think grayscale might have worked better overall. Either way, what you DID finish looks great and your writing is so much fun!

@yarn: I'm in love with the colors you used in your comic! I'm already jealous of your ability to pull off traditional colors so well, but this comic with it's contrast of warm and cool colors created a really harmonious mixture that brought the comic to life. I was thrown off by the chronology of the comic, and kind of left with the feeling that part of the story was missing or something. There seems to be a lack of impetus for some of the events in the comic. I get why Johnny was following Sumiko, but I didn't really get what the first page was about exactly, and I don't understand where the bomb came from. I don't know if I missed a clue or if you just ran out of time to expand on that plot point, but either way I was confused. I still enjoyed this comic just from how strong the art was and the depiction of Sumiko's daily life, which was sweet. I really want more Sumiko in my life <3

Radji
Artist
542 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 20 2018, 03:24 PM
wowee i'm gonna enjoy this. Different courses, but similar stories

WillD: i wasn't really familliar with johnny cool, but this comic gave me plenty of infos AND made me interested in him! Has a good heart and will go to great lenghts to help others. Good detective type.

Yarn: Really loved the colors, your watercolors are such a delight to see! Lil Sumiko seems to really just want to hang around like any teenager, but hey, void city. liked the opposition of "cold" and "warm" colors

SirJellyRaptor
Artist
56 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 20 2018, 10:20 AM
I'm not used to giving this kinda critique so bear with me, I guess, it's kinda run on


@Yarnwitch- In terms of drawing I think it all looks rather swell. your figures are great and the coloring is also nice as far as I'm convcerned. My only real issue is the arrangement of the story. Having it start of with Johnny ominously following Sumiko while everything's on fire LOOKS cool, but I feel like, while the following pages definitely explain it, it doesn't really build up to it like I feel it should. The bomb is just kinda there, with no real explanation why someone brought it or set it off. and when you have the "earlier this week" quip it feels off because it seems like all these events are happening on the same day, in sequence

@Willy D-  again, I think the visuals are great. Everyone's drawn well and we get to see a bit more of Johnny's character than we have in the past, limited as that is. I would like to see a bit more color, though. Not necessarily a full colored comic, since I like that only some panels have it, but maybe another colored panel or two, like that fullbody on page 5 might have looked cool in color, but seems more like a personal complaint on my end. All in all, a good start to getting Mr. Cool back into the fray

SirJellyRaptor
Artist
56 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 9 2018, 07:18 PM
I have been rather curious how this will turn out.

Sean
Approval Committee
325 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 9 2018, 08:25 AM
HYPE

William_Duel
Community Manager
929 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 9 2017, 08:02 AM
Red: Willy D don't default on her, I'll hunt you down.
Quote
I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Red
Council
639 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 8 2017, 08:44 AM
Willy D don't default on her, I'll hunt you down.

Happy May 25th! -Reecer6
Artist
289 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 8 2017, 06:48 AM
Oof, 5 weeks for Sumiko's first battle! I'm hype!

Radji
Artist
542 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 8 2017, 12:01 AM
oooh interesting !

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Jan 26th, 2018
Votes Cast: 32
Page Views: 1127
Winner: William_Duel and yarnwitch
 

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