Crikey Dile vs. Liz And Tsu

Crikey Dile vs. Liz And Tsu

Crikey Dile vs. Liz And Tsu

by Golden

59.6%
400 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13Page 14Page 15Page 16Page 17Page 18Page 19Page 20Page 21Page 22Page 23Page 24

Crit level: No preference

40.4%
271 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Coatl
Artist
318 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 17 2017, 10:31 PM
So good job to the both of you, I did a break down for you two and I hope it's somewhat useful!

Golden:

You have great character designs and I love you style shift! Great use of your opponent's characters as well
One of the issues both of you have is that at time your horizon line is too high.
Page one for instance coulda had a lower perspective line. The way it was set up, for some reason I thought the garbage can in the foreground was your focus.
Picking angles can be quite tough but you did a good job trying to detail in the perspective regardless.

Pg2 ws great, I loved the building shot, I loved the movement, it can always be pushed! Even ask yourself if it's necessary to zoom out so far or could you have moved your camera closer. I really like how the third panel was drawn in a way that it paralleled the next two panels.
Pg3 Had me wondering why the character just had to climb a building just to chill in a spot but Pg4's moment was cool

And some of these are nitpicks but later when you get to the style shift on page 13 in on, I really enjoyed that and hope to see more. Always can be pushed by including a different brush, texture, mediums, ect!

Overall, I see potential and you should keep pushing and tightening!

Wolfabaloo

We discussed this on the discord but I can see where you struggle,however I also see you have a lot of cool ideas and a great setting. I like your use of limited color palette and you should push yourself to use it in a more effective manner, which can mean, using values and saturation to highlight or lead the eye, or even do what you did and highlight a new character by giving them a totally unique color!
I'll break yours down by Fundamentals, I guess.

Perspective:

Like Golden, you have a tendancy to not lower your horizon line at times. YOu're also constantly working on 2 or 3 point perspective. These can be great to challenge yourself but realyl ask yourself sometimes if that's the shot you envision in your head
look Up Scott Robertson, do photo studies, study the shots of your favorite films and comics as practice and ask yourself "Why did they use this angle?

Anatomy:
Your proportions can always be better. I see you have great posing at times and you know what movement you want.
I suggest you look at the greats, such as Vilpuu, Sheldon Borenstien, Bridgeman, Andrew Loomis, Proko and the like.
Similarly to the prospective practice, get your fav comics and try to apply what you learn from them to the art of those comics, even if they're stylized. Dont be afraid to even trace drawings if it helps you build a better understanding!

Overall, I also see great potential and I hope after you do all that, you can come back and do another battle!

Hellis
Artist
216 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 17 2017, 09:54 PM
I really enjoyed both comics, and I am mostly gonna second Corn here.

Wolf: Keep working on anatomy and the foundations. I think you could do well sitting down and studying perspective as well.

Golden: Your art is a pleasure to watch and I love the way you drew the "nightmare" sequence. I think we all find workflow tricky! But when you nail it down, your stuff is gonna be next level.

Golden
Artist
40 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 16 2017, 01:44 PM
Thank you all for the comments and critiques!! I super duper appreciate them!
Yeeeeea I defo learned my lesson with this, though real life stuff didn't help with my time management. I actually see that one of my pages is missing but what can I do? XD

Corn Of The Breads
Think Tank
133 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 14 2017, 01:54 PM
Nice work on both sides!

Wolf I like that you are definitely trying to make void a much more strange and intresting place that is really cool and I am glad that it is so weird, I just feel you could work a lot on your foundations for anatomy but it is great to see you making progress.

Golden I love the style changes I feel the dream style is so unique I wonder what a full comic in that style would look like. I am a bit glad to see you push forward and experiment I hope you can use this comic and learn more about your work flow. Id love to see a comic with an even amount of work distributed to all of its pages.

Julz
Artist
371 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 14 2017, 07:55 AM
Golden- I really loved that style change in her internal struggle sequence!! that was really cool, great use of angles  and composition :0 I really wish you'd had time to finish this an especially would look lovely with some soft colors, but 24 pages is an endeavor!! Couldn't you have cut anything? Regardless, lovely comic, and Crikey remains one of my favorite characters. Your work is looking so pro!
Wolf- I'm happy to see all the backgrounds! A few pretty decent attempts at prospective go a long way to giving it depth too, I see you're really pushing yourself here. I'd recommend working on consistency with characters. Sometimes their noses change shape from one panel to the next like Crikey's in page 3 panel 1 to panel 3 and its hella distracting. I also recommend figure drawing for practice making natural poses, everyone here looks awkward. Maybe work from references and practice drawing bodies from artists you love and real life of course is the best reference.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
277 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 10 2017, 12:44 PM
@Goldie - I loved how you took the magical girl formula and used it to such impact here. I felt like I was missing out on that, and I thank you for bringing that back.

I have been surprised the last few times i've seen some unfinished pages from you, that even though the forms aren't there, the movement in those sketchy roughs and you including the text is still able to keep me immersed in the story. I HAVE to learn how you do that! Must be that great writing! I am also loving how your style worked here, and I love the character development in this. You also managed to make Liz and Tsu particularly indispensable to this plot. I don't know too many other characters that could have executed this so well, so you're showing some really good strengths here writing-wise.

I LOVE page 12. LOVE IT.

@wolfbaloo i'm really not sure what to say too much, other than to keep practicing anatomy. There's a cool thing happening here where the contrast of golden's comic can tell you a lot about what direction to improve. I LOVE that the plots were fairly similar, because it helps to give certain feedbacks like the attempt i'll make here.
-are you able to see in golden's comic where the focus on the start of tsu's power gives this... like slow-mo details sort of effect, so we can see that its really significant? its good and there was emphasis on how it was used and everything. This is something that was missing in yours, though that might just be because i read goldie's first. It would have helped yours to be more impactful.

I do really love that you're playing with angles more and I hope to keep seeing it! This was a really good comic from you and I kinda wanna fight your babs now! ♥

Energy
Artist
124 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 10 2017, 11:35 AM
Goldie:  While some of the pages seem really unfinished, your story still manages to be complete and it's pretty good.  That style change is a bit surreal, but I suppose it fit what was going on in Crikey's mind when Tsu used his power on her.

Wolf:  I like that you used a monochromatic color pallete (in this case bluish) for this comic rather than a simple black and white or grayscale, but I wonder why Crikey's the only green one.  I'm going to assume you did that on purpose, so I won't dig too deep into that.  One thing I have to say is that your story is a little hard to follow.  I assume Tsu has to check up on Liz and then bring a box full of imps to his boss's brother or something and that's where all hell breaks loose for a while?  Another thing is that I admire the attempts at perspective, but you can work a little more on your anatomy.

Desichan
Think Tank
181 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 10 2017, 10:42 AM
@Golden

While not all your pages are finished, what you do have done is absolutely lovely. I really admire your linework, it's quite striking, and looks amazing! Oh man... and when I got to that art style change, utterly amazing, I love how that style looks, it's adorable, and slightly creepy in a way I really admire.

I think at that point you could have put a bit more emphasis on the words, nearer to the start, because when all of them are in the background, the reader gets very little emotional impact. However, when you see the closeups, directly saying things, I feel that was magnificently done, and really touching. That scene ended very strongly, and really got me feeling like I might cry.

In the end I'm left wondering if that caused her to see more into herself, or if that was manipulating her feelings to feel ways she didn't, because in the way it happened, it left that up in the air, but either way, this was an amazingly well crafted comic, and I'm glad you had all the word bubbles in it as well, and yeah! There was some unfinished parts, sure, but one thing I'm really glad about is how the emotional part, didn't have a single unfinished part! Overall amazing comic, great job!

@wolfbaloo

You've made leaps and strides when it comes to a lot of your anatomy since your last comic! That faces particularly look a lot more pleasant, and I like seeing the hard work and improvement you've put into that!

However, I will definitely note, that in this story, I seldom had much of a clue what was going on, especially when all the uh... Imps showed up? A lot of this felt a bit meaningless in a way, and it just seemed a lot like they came out of nowhere, and their appearance was rather jarring.

I also think the color palette could've used some work, Crikey definitely stands out from the crowd, but why is everything else so blue, and then she's the only green thing? In a way it feels like you were just trying to make her stand out, with minimal effort.

I do however admire your attempts at doing poses and using perspective, you can get better, sure but to me it looks like you're actually trying and I admire that!


Good job to both of you, you guys rock!

Majikura
Artist
466 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 10 2017, 10:20 AM
Golden: It's a shame there are sketch pages in this entry, but the overall story was complete and enjoyable regardless.  Although the story was the Void Cliche of 'run into a monster and team up to fight it' the bit at the end where Crikey calls her mom gave the story a bit more meaning to the encounter.

Wolf: To be honest, I could not tell what is happening in your comic at all.  Characters just randomly appear, theres a bunch of panels that contribute nothing to the flow of the story, and the conclusion is not clear.  The rule of thumb with comic composition is that you have to be able to understand the story even if you remove all of the text.  You also need to establish rules and props BEFORE you use them (the vacuum machine).

yarnwitch
Think Tank
277 comments
# 1   Posted: Nov 11 2017, 07:29 AM
Oooooh~ What could this be?

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Dec 17th, 2017
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 744
Winner: Golden
 

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