She's Bony, she's Boney, but she doesn't you to leave her aloney.
Shen: Ah, some focus on more sides of Lily's powers. I love when you go all the way with colors. You made Holden look... cute. Cute in that "Aw, but this isn't going to go well in the end is it?" way. It's sweet watching them consumed with young love, but there's a sense of dread.
Bangarang: At the risk of repeating myself "They're so cute... but this won't end well!" Except with less "won't end well." It's much more straight up cute shipping.
When The Day Met The Night / Lilyfeather vs. Holden Shark
Critiques & Comments
# 20
Posted:
Aug 14 2017, 05:16 PM
# 19
Posted:
Aug 14 2017, 05:04 AM
Shen: AYYYY!!! Definitely noticeable improvement! Glad to see that shipping really brings you out at top form! (As if we all didn't fukken know that)
The art: Like I said, overall, it shows a lot of improvement. And needless to say, I'm really lovin these colors a whole lot. I'm not sure if it's the result of more practice or caring more about the subject matter, but it's definitely welcome. I think I'd link it to interest-in-subject-matter. If only because there's spots in the comic where it seems you just didn't care as much. Spots where heads aren't deep enough, where human-ears are almost in cat-ear territory, and certain angles where it looks like you said "I'll just wing it".
Basically, it boils down to: When you know what you're doing, it shows. When you don't know what you're doing, it shows. The solution is the tried-and-true beaten-drum method of Reference For Everything. Even if it's something you've drawn a million times. Break out that photo ref, make sure it matches the angle you're shooting at, and measure the distance between eyes, ears, noses, cheeks, head-to-body-ratio and head-to-any-other-body-part ratio.
Also, minor note, really just to underline something I've said before: if it's a solid, man-made surface, use a uniform line. Otherwise architecture can take on a weird play-doh quality that breaks some of the believablity of a scene.
The writing: Honestly, no real notes here. You went for some sappy romance and pulled it off quite well. Bravo!
Bang: Aw snap! Seldom do I get to read comics from ya but they're a welcomed treat every time!
The art: I'm really tryina place the vibe your comics give me, but its super ephemeral. Nothing published springs to mind, but the old days of Myspace comic strips and the early days of slice-of-life webcomics. But not even in a bad way. You've figured out how to remove a lot of what didn't work about those sorts of comics and keep what does. So kudos to that! I'd like to especially point out that your use of minor moments like taking off shoes or minor changes in body language really read well. So keep that up! But the big note here is really your comfort zone. You like drawin figures. You like drawin figures bein cute. But the moment a background's involved, the illusion that we're peeping into another reality really starts to fade. Reference. Ref-er-ence. Even if ya just make Holden's room in The Sims or somethin, that'll give you a solid sense of perspective and scale that would really take this to the next level. Also, small note: The Times New Roman font. Surprisingly, it fits very well. I would've never made that choice, but I'm glad you did.
The writing: I dig it! It's cute and straightforward. It's a bit fast in the pacing, but only slightly. I sense it's because you wanted to get to the good parts ASAP, which is conventional wisdom among short comics.
The art: Like I said, overall, it shows a lot of improvement. And needless to say, I'm really lovin these colors a whole lot. I'm not sure if it's the result of more practice or caring more about the subject matter, but it's definitely welcome. I think I'd link it to interest-in-subject-matter. If only because there's spots in the comic where it seems you just didn't care as much. Spots where heads aren't deep enough, where human-ears are almost in cat-ear territory, and certain angles where it looks like you said "I'll just wing it".
Basically, it boils down to: When you know what you're doing, it shows. When you don't know what you're doing, it shows. The solution is the tried-and-true beaten-drum method of Reference For Everything. Even if it's something you've drawn a million times. Break out that photo ref, make sure it matches the angle you're shooting at, and measure the distance between eyes, ears, noses, cheeks, head-to-body-ratio and head-to-any-other-body-part ratio.
Also, minor note, really just to underline something I've said before: if it's a solid, man-made surface, use a uniform line. Otherwise architecture can take on a weird play-doh quality that breaks some of the believablity of a scene.
The writing: Honestly, no real notes here. You went for some sappy romance and pulled it off quite well. Bravo!
Bang: Aw snap! Seldom do I get to read comics from ya but they're a welcomed treat every time!
The art: I'm really tryina place the vibe your comics give me, but its super ephemeral. Nothing published springs to mind, but the old days of Myspace comic strips and the early days of slice-of-life webcomics. But not even in a bad way. You've figured out how to remove a lot of what didn't work about those sorts of comics and keep what does. So kudos to that! I'd like to especially point out that your use of minor moments like taking off shoes or minor changes in body language really read well. So keep that up! But the big note here is really your comfort zone. You like drawin figures. You like drawin figures bein cute. But the moment a background's involved, the illusion that we're peeping into another reality really starts to fade. Reference. Ref-er-ence. Even if ya just make Holden's room in The Sims or somethin, that'll give you a solid sense of perspective and scale that would really take this to the next level. Also, small note: The Times New Roman font. Surprisingly, it fits very well. I would've never made that choice, but I'm glad you did.
The writing: I dig it! It's cute and straightforward. It's a bit fast in the pacing, but only slightly. I sense it's because you wanted to get to the good parts ASAP, which is conventional wisdom among short comics.
# 18
Posted:
Aug 13 2017, 08:15 AM
Shen: I KNEW THEY WOULD BE TOGETHER IT WAS FATED. Louise also approve, lol. And the baskground revealed actually make sense to me! the only grievance i do have is Holden's feet when he dive.
Bangarang: Really cute ! Not as much develloped as i would like but so haertwarming (omg is that linae in that picture !!)
Bangarang: Really cute ! Not as much develloped as i would like but so haertwarming (omg is that linae in that picture !!)
# 17
Posted:
Aug 13 2017, 01:30 AM
SHEN TOLD ME ANY COMMENT WOULD BE BETTER THAN NONE, SO
Shen, I was kind of wowed to see how clean and on point the linework was this time around! As well as the general flow of the story and the changing color palettes and the bookends and the dialogue, it all felt very masterfully done, as well as really cheesy, but it works. Bang, I don't really have much to say, but your comic was nice too, and I don't really have much to bring up besides lackluster backgrounds!
BUT THAT RELATIONSHIP THAT IS THE BACKBONE OF THIS COMIC, MAN...
I wrote up a lot about it, and after like most of an hour of rewrites, kind of erased it all, because I don't want to be rude and harsh anyone's buzz? But like, this reads more as a tragedy to me than a romance, mostly based on Shen's side. Someone save Holden from the supernatural binding surrounding this small child.
Shen, I was kind of wowed to see how clean and on point the linework was this time around! As well as the general flow of the story and the changing color palettes and the bookends and the dialogue, it all felt very masterfully done, as well as really cheesy, but it works. Bang, I don't really have much to say, but your comic was nice too, and I don't really have much to bring up besides lackluster backgrounds!
BUT THAT RELATIONSHIP THAT IS THE BACKBONE OF THIS COMIC, MAN...
I wrote up a lot about it, and after like most of an hour of rewrites, kind of erased it all, because I don't want to be rude and harsh anyone's buzz? But like, this reads more as a tragedy to me than a romance, mostly based on Shen's side. Someone save Holden from the supernatural binding surrounding this small child.
# 16
Posted:
Aug 11 2017, 04:34 AM
SHEN: Nice callback to the previous match. Good colors, good inking, it's all good.
But page 6, panel 4--what is up with Lily's head? Her cranium is missing while Holden's got a nice full skull when both of them have wet hair.
And that kiss on page 7 looks awkward--lips are barely touching, and both their eyes are open? There's a Buzzfeed video about open eye kissing (there seems to be one about most things these days?) and it just looks awkward. But it's fixed in the last panel of the last page.
BANG: I do enjoy the greyscale you did for this comic. Page count is short and sweet, keeping the whole thing down to an overnight conversation. You do need to work a bit on the perspective, like with the bedroom opening shot. The lay of the bed VS the lay of the book on the nightstand implies that the nightstand itself is sloping down at an angle instead of being even.
And this is the part when I do have to gush a bit.
Both of y'all either planned this to be a shipping match OR this is a cute coincidence. I guess this makes Lily and Holden exclusive, but there's no canon in VOID so it might not stop people from exploring other ships.
Not sure that I like the implication that Holden has no choice in his attraction to Lilyfeather in Shen's side, though.
One thing I do like about Bang's side that needs to be addressed is that they shared their names with one another. Like, it implies that their names are secrets, so to share that part of yourself with someone leaves you at a vulnerable place. I also like that Holden acknowledges that he can't prevent or help with Lily's dowry predicament.
Speaking of the dowry, it looks like the Hell arc is the last bit of Lily's story that needs to be done. Let's see how this one ends!
But page 6, panel 4--what is up with Lily's head? Her cranium is missing while Holden's got a nice full skull when both of them have wet hair.
And that kiss on page 7 looks awkward--lips are barely touching, and both their eyes are open? There's a Buzzfeed video about open eye kissing (there seems to be one about most things these days?) and it just looks awkward. But it's fixed in the last panel of the last page.
BANG: I do enjoy the greyscale you did for this comic. Page count is short and sweet, keeping the whole thing down to an overnight conversation. You do need to work a bit on the perspective, like with the bedroom opening shot. The lay of the bed VS the lay of the book on the nightstand implies that the nightstand itself is sloping down at an angle instead of being even.
And this is the part when I do have to gush a bit.
Both of y'all either planned this to be a shipping match OR this is a cute coincidence. I guess this makes Lily and Holden exclusive, but there's no canon in VOID so it might not stop people from exploring other ships.
Not sure that I like the implication that Holden has no choice in his attraction to Lilyfeather in Shen's side, though.
One thing I do like about Bang's side that needs to be addressed is that they shared their names with one another. Like, it implies that their names are secrets, so to share that part of yourself with someone leaves you at a vulnerable place. I also like that Holden acknowledges that he can't prevent or help with Lily's dowry predicament.
Speaking of the dowry, it looks like the Hell arc is the last bit of Lily's story that needs to be done. Let's see how this one ends!
# 15
Posted:
Aug 10 2017, 08:42 AM
OKAY OKAY OKAYOFDGJDGHDFKGDFGH
this... was the CUTEST FUCKING THING.
UHGHGH
SO CUTE DX
....
SHEN:
Girl...... YOU GOT SO MUCH BETTER AT LINEART. I don't know if it was having your updating comic or what cut holy balls this looks tight AF!!!pg 5 holden falling backwards into the pool was a little confusing of a panel, bc the ground looked like a panel and im like wazzat........ oh its da floor duh. colors are pretty... NICE WATER EFFECTS and Heckin cute story. I like the way liilyf looks when shes blue with red eyes!!! Such a cool look. Makes me wish she was blue all the time. Pg7 is supreme.
BANG: I FUCKIIIN LOOOOVE the way you draw faces and people. Your bgs fall short in comparison. I really want you to practice adding detail and perspective and new shading techniques to catch up to your BEAUTIFUL PPL. It pales so much its glaring. I mean, you had a BIG WINDOW just waiting to be filled up with BEAUTIFUL CITYSCAPE and you filled it with.... blurry dots... :'c
HECKIN CUTE STORY THOUGH AAAHH their love is so pure i want to see the cuddle it fulfills me
WHY DO YOU FILL ME UP BUTTERCUP BBY WHEN YOU LET ME DOWN N MESS ME AROUND
this... was the CUTEST FUCKING THING.
UHGHGH
SO CUTE DX
....
SHEN:
Girl...... YOU GOT SO MUCH BETTER AT LINEART. I don't know if it was having your updating comic or what cut holy balls this looks tight AF!!!pg 5 holden falling backwards into the pool was a little confusing of a panel, bc the ground looked like a panel and im like wazzat........ oh its da floor duh. colors are pretty... NICE WATER EFFECTS and Heckin cute story. I like the way liilyf looks when shes blue with red eyes!!! Such a cool look. Makes me wish she was blue all the time. Pg7 is supreme.
BANG: I FUCKIIIN LOOOOVE the way you draw faces and people. Your bgs fall short in comparison. I really want you to practice adding detail and perspective and new shading techniques to catch up to your BEAUTIFUL PPL. It pales so much its glaring. I mean, you had a BIG WINDOW just waiting to be filled up with BEAUTIFUL CITYSCAPE and you filled it with.... blurry dots... :'c
HECKIN CUTE STORY THOUGH AAAHH their love is so pure i want to see the cuddle it fulfills me
WHY DO YOU FILL ME UP BUTTERCUP BBY WHEN YOU LET ME DOWN N MESS ME AROUND
# 14
Posted:
Aug 9 2017, 10:53 PM
Both of these comics are so dang adorable! Great stuff both of you!
For a moment Shen, I thought you reused an old panel from your first comic of Lilyfeather and Holden, but another look made me see that it was redrawn. Nicely done.
For a moment Shen, I thought you reused an old panel from your first comic of Lilyfeather and Holden, but another look made me see that it was redrawn. Nicely done.
# 13
Posted:
Aug 9 2017, 07:05 PM
That was so cute I think my brain melted
# 12
Posted:
Aug 9 2017, 12:42 PM
You're right. I made the mistake of not comparing the two comics, and basing it all on my memory. Apologies. ^^;
As for the bodytypes, Holden DOES look different from how you draw Greece.
It takes time Shen, don't admit defeat. You managed to do wonderful differences between Lily and Gray. I am sure you'll eventually do the same with your boys. <3
As for the bodytypes, Holden DOES look different from how you draw Greece.
It takes time Shen, don't admit defeat. You managed to do wonderful differences between Lily and Gray. I am sure you'll eventually do the same with your boys. <3
# 11
Posted:
Aug 9 2017, 12:30 PM
you know whats funny i actually had to go back in and ERASE his abs in a couple panels once i realized i was making him too ripped apparently i can only draw one type of boy now XD I already know thats a problem of mine, I'll work on it lol
I actually redew that scene completely i didnt copy/paste it if thats what you mean, i wanted to reference our first battle and that was how it looked so i just drew it a second time. I guess that was a bit lazy but it seemed the fastest way to get the point across.
thanks for the crit!
elge:
Shen: I am not too happy of you reusing pictures/pannels from previous comics. But I assume time wasn't on your side.
Quote
I actually redew that scene completely i didnt copy/paste it if thats what you mean, i wanted to reference our first battle and that was how it looked so i just drew it a second time. I guess that was a bit lazy but it seemed the fastest way to get the point across.
thanks for the crit!
# 10
Posted:
Aug 9 2017, 12:23 PM
Am I allowed to say this was gay, even if this was a boyXgirl comic? Because it was pretty gay.
Really cute story, both of you.
Shen: I am not too happy of you reusing pictures/pannels from previous comics. But I assume time wasn't on your side.
Something I would also like to point out. Your boy anatomy has been getting a lot better, especially since you started drawing lotsa shirtless werewolf. But you put too much emphasis on the iliac area. Holden doesn't look like he would have those muscles too developed, he's skinny.
I'd recommend using thinner lines for that part.
I think at some point you mentioned you tend to use Swimmers' body type when drawing males; They also don't have their abs that developed. You can see the muscles, but they are still smooth.
Love your color paletes, like always.
And Holden's attack pose on page 2 is boss.
Bang: I love your grayscale. Fits the mood well. I think it represents Holden overall character, and Lily's dark soon to be fate.
Good job both of you. Let's hope this ship sails far.
Really cute story, both of you.
Shen: I am not too happy of you reusing pictures/pannels from previous comics. But I assume time wasn't on your side.
Something I would also like to point out. Your boy anatomy has been getting a lot better, especially since you started drawing lotsa shirtless werewolf. But you put too much emphasis on the iliac area. Holden doesn't look like he would have those muscles too developed, he's skinny.
I'd recommend using thinner lines for that part.
I think at some point you mentioned you tend to use Swimmers' body type when drawing males; They also don't have their abs that developed. You can see the muscles, but they are still smooth.
Love your color paletes, like always.
And Holden's attack pose on page 2 is boss.
Bang: I love your grayscale. Fits the mood well. I think it represents Holden overall character, and Lily's dark soon to be fate.
Good job both of you. Let's hope this ship sails far.
# 9
Posted:
Aug 9 2017, 09:51 AM
bbbBAAANGGG I AM LOSING MY SHIT THAT WAS SO CUTE AAAAA
LOL WE BOTH HAD THE OTHER BE THE ONE TO CONFESS FIRST
LETS SAIL THIS GARBAGE BARGE INTO THE SUNSET
edit: also for those not in the loop this is a rematch if helps if you read their first battle first, then assume that for the last two years hes been following her around
http://entervoid.com/index.php?action=comic;id=5324
LOL WE BOTH HAD THE OTHER BE THE ONE TO CONFESS FIRST
LETS SAIL THIS GARBAGE BARGE INTO THE SUNSET
edit: also for those not in the loop this is a rematch if helps if you read their first battle first, then assume that for the last two years hes been following her around
http://entervoid.com/index.php?action=comic;id=5324
# 8
Posted:
Aug 8 2017, 08:22 PM
Uploooaded.
I am expecting nothing but I'm just glad I got it done. XD
Prepare for gross
I am expecting nothing but I'm just glad I got it done. XD
Prepare for gross
# 7
Posted:
Aug 8 2017, 02:38 PM
Uploaded. This is the most self indulgent comic I've ever drawn I love this dumpster fire of a ship
# 6
Posted:
Jul 29 2017, 10:44 PM
MyHatsEatPeople: PANIC AT THE DISCO TITLE?
REALLY??
Quote
FITE US BOTH
# 5
Posted:
Jul 29 2017, 04:36 PM
SO HYPE!!
# 4
Posted:
Jul 29 2017, 03:32 PM
PANIC AT THE DISCO TITLE?
REALLY??
REALLY??
# 3
Posted:
Jul 25 2017, 06:00 PM
CAN'T WAIT
# 2
Posted:
Jul 25 2017, 06:00 PM
👌👌👌
# 1
Posted:
Jul 25 2017, 05:49 PM
Techno Remix
Comic Details
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Aug 15th, 2017
Votes Cast:
25
Page Views:
1963
Winner:
Animeshen
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i ESPECIALLY like lilyfeather's entry and that bookend-- good god how does this site create better and more compelling romances than most formally published stuff??