Oh what, it didn\'t go through the first time? okay
hey guys, very ambitious entries! good good. I wouldn\'t comment on the story wise, but I have a few grimes about drawing wise-
xtem : I think it\'s good you\'re experimenting with your new style, but I have to say that in order to pull that kinda style off, you gotta know really well about shadow placement and where to put thick and thick lines. your lines atm is all thick and the shadow often makes no sense, especially if you look closely on how you slap downs hadows on clothing and muscles. They all look too curvy and far too unnatural even for a style. you might want to study more about shadow placement, it\'s really hard to pull off a noirish look if you\'re not comfortable enough with that. Also I think you could improve on your anatomy, some proportions especially on children is a bit disconcerting, matilda often seems to have huger head than she should. you gotta be more consistent on that. I like the wide array of expressions you have, by the way, better than before, but yes, you probably also want to try working on different variations of human body types.
Also I can see why people think yoru comic is confusing, it\'s back to the lines again. Your lines are pretty uniform (panels, baloon words, characters and backgrounds) that is why it is a little harder to decipher especially on screen. So I suggest you try more on deciding what lines are best for what, like for example maybe your paneling lines is thicker and your baloon words lines are thinner, and thinner background lines with thic character lines, and so on and so forth.
Do not stop experimenting!
Nachte: cool, tho I have to say I am sorry that I also find your style similar to monday atm, normally I would not say it, but after reading your entry, I couldn\'t really shake off the feeling. I don\'t know why, I liked the confident lines you had in your previous comics, I am not sure why you wanted to switch it but maybe you\'re experimenting! The reason it looks like monday\'s style I guess the fact that it;s really really loose, and chaotic. And also assymetrical. Also the fact that the way you give hint of crosshatching have similarity to monday\'s early style. I am sorry to be a downer but I am just trying to make some sense out of the style/ Do not take this in a bad light. But I do want you to reconsider your previous confident lines though, but yeah!
I have always liked your creativity in storymaking, but I think you lack variety in showing the characters stance, maybe you should try doing more crazy angles for crazy scenes, or dynamic poses. I mean I like the variety of close ups and what not, but I seem to see alot of shots from direct front, and it makes teh characters look stiff. human body is a very cool thing, there\'s alot of curves that expresses characters personality/state of being just from their body language, so yeah, I think you would benefit from that, especially with the nature of your characters keep practicing!
Expulsion / Matilda vs. Mortido vs. Sangre Gris
Critiques & Comments
# 47
Posted:
Oct 17 2007, 11:50 AM
# 46
Posted:
Oct 17 2007, 11:49 AM
test
# 45
Posted:
Oct 16 2007, 12:45 PM
Six, it isn\'t your place to justify someone else\'s critique. If you can\'t see it, then it does not apply to you. You are not Nachte, those critiques have nothing to do with you. Don\'t do it again.
and even though I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this comic, yes, the whole thing reeked of Monday. Not terribly mind you, but enough to be noticable. And not just artwise, storytelling as well. Now this is not to say Nachte is a copycat, or hell, even to say this is a bad thing, I\'m just saying that Nachte, I\'m sure you can see where your style and Pio\'s shack up and do naughty things, and if you can\'t, try, because people will keep making the comparison between your work otherwise. When you\'re at your best though, you\'re impeccable, but at the end it really fell apart, and I totally understand that. I\'d work on adding more black so as to fix the balance and use some more textures on backgrounds lacking defining features. during the fight scene you seemed to have a definite grasp of how much a little shadow adds to a comic. Your backgrounds were empty feeling in places but the grey marker really helped. You need to do something with those vast seas of empty wall though, whether it be decoration or just shadow. Same for floors.
Six, even with the pages put right, it sort of feels like getting dropped into a story that was already happening and that I haven\'t read any of. Your intense lack of details and defining features made this one a really tough read. A lot of the characters looked altogether too similar and the anatomy was just total shit. The storytelling was amateurish and seemed more like an RP than a comic. You had a very gamey approach to the action, very structured in an overly logical way, but at the same time making close to zero sense if you didn\'t know what was already happening. You\'ve lost a lot of your comics knowhow in your hiatus, actually this is probably the weakest battle you\'ve ever done.
and even though I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this comic, yes, the whole thing reeked of Monday. Not terribly mind you, but enough to be noticable. And not just artwise, storytelling as well. Now this is not to say Nachte is a copycat, or hell, even to say this is a bad thing, I\'m just saying that Nachte, I\'m sure you can see where your style and Pio\'s shack up and do naughty things, and if you can\'t, try, because people will keep making the comparison between your work otherwise. When you\'re at your best though, you\'re impeccable, but at the end it really fell apart, and I totally understand that. I\'d work on adding more black so as to fix the balance and use some more textures on backgrounds lacking defining features. during the fight scene you seemed to have a definite grasp of how much a little shadow adds to a comic. Your backgrounds were empty feeling in places but the grey marker really helped. You need to do something with those vast seas of empty wall though, whether it be decoration or just shadow. Same for floors.
Six, even with the pages put right, it sort of feels like getting dropped into a story that was already happening and that I haven\'t read any of. Your intense lack of details and defining features made this one a really tough read. A lot of the characters looked altogether too similar and the anatomy was just total shit. The storytelling was amateurish and seemed more like an RP than a comic. You had a very gamey approach to the action, very structured in an overly logical way, but at the same time making close to zero sense if you didn\'t know what was already happening. You\'ve lost a lot of your comics knowhow in your hiatus, actually this is probably the weakest battle you\'ve ever done.
# 44
Posted:
Oct 15 2007, 07:22 PM
SIxtemu -
UNIVERSE RESET
Honestly I dont know why the scores are so lopsided- I apparently got what was going on in the story (after it got fixed) except maybe there were too many characters involved too quickly and that there was much to keep track of etc.Also the fact that she was transported 2 days earlier in the ending due to the universe reset was a slim bridge to build a connection to. In terms of the drawing style the tonal balance is there but the lines surely suffer for it- you should consider working with a bigger range of line widths ie smaller more intricate lines as you tend to get too heavy handed with the detail - in combination with the heavy blacks it causes blockiness with your art. Otherwise I enjoyed what twists there were to be enjoyed and the plot in general if not for the bumpiness in delivery. One of the bigger weaknesses in the writing I found was that the plot was pretty point A to point B at some points with little leeway for the reader to feel or comprehend anything passed whats in front of them. Readers want to feel /smart/ about the world you present here.
Nachte- I honestly dont know what the talk about my style being here is at. Like Six says, it\'s just raw pens and the telltale learning processes I went through when I was using them. But other than that- what an enjoyable first read for Sangre Gris- it seems that the major success here was your delivering in your introduction to this new face to void- AND THE THIRTYTWO FUCKIN PAGE ENTRY PERHAPS >: )
Unlike Six though- the tonal balance is a little on the light side- but its no thing- its just that your panels- some of them- end up with lacking composition. Or perhaps the layout makes this all the more so- shrug. The story is strong in this one- character s have personality as is their setting and motivations which makes for any hearty read. Another thing, and this is an opinion - but Gris is quite a sight more gentler than I expected in this battle. Har, thanks.
So to run this down-
Six>> You get creativity points because I knew what you were getting at but the execution could use work.
Nachte>> Entertainment and creativity gets it- however some frames felt blank.
Jong>> By mentioning your name, I\'m riding guilt on you BWAHAHAHAHA. Better luck next time- your works always had a knack for execution.
UNIVERSE RESET
Honestly I dont know why the scores are so lopsided- I apparently got what was going on in the story (after it got fixed) except maybe there were too many characters involved too quickly and that there was much to keep track of etc.Also the fact that she was transported 2 days earlier in the ending due to the universe reset was a slim bridge to build a connection to. In terms of the drawing style the tonal balance is there but the lines surely suffer for it- you should consider working with a bigger range of line widths ie smaller more intricate lines as you tend to get too heavy handed with the detail - in combination with the heavy blacks it causes blockiness with your art. Otherwise I enjoyed what twists there were to be enjoyed and the plot in general if not for the bumpiness in delivery. One of the bigger weaknesses in the writing I found was that the plot was pretty point A to point B at some points with little leeway for the reader to feel or comprehend anything passed whats in front of them. Readers want to feel /smart/ about the world you present here.
Nachte- I honestly dont know what the talk about my style being here is at. Like Six says, it\'s just raw pens and the telltale learning processes I went through when I was using them. But other than that- what an enjoyable first read for Sangre Gris- it seems that the major success here was your delivering in your introduction to this new face to void- AND THE THIRTYTWO FUCKIN PAGE ENTRY PERHAPS >: )
Unlike Six though- the tonal balance is a little on the light side- but its no thing- its just that your panels- some of them- end up with lacking composition. Or perhaps the layout makes this all the more so- shrug. The story is strong in this one- character s have personality as is their setting and motivations which makes for any hearty read. Another thing, and this is an opinion - but Gris is quite a sight more gentler than I expected in this battle. Har, thanks.
So to run this down-
Six>> You get creativity points because I knew what you were getting at but the execution could use work.
Nachte>> Entertainment and creativity gets it- however some frames felt blank.
Jong>> By mentioning your name, I\'m riding guilt on you BWAHAHAHAHA. Better luck next time- your works always had a knack for execution.
# 43
Posted:
Oct 15 2007, 06:06 PM
The page issue\'s fixed. :0 Wow, I really suck at writing comics.
And I think the only similarity between Nachte and Monday\'s styles is that the inking is raw and unedited. The panel notes didn\'t hurt the comparison, either. Either way, I know she wasn\'t even being particularly inspired by Monday, especially not copying him; so there\'s not much to be done about it, eh?
And I think the only similarity between Nachte and Monday\'s styles is that the inking is raw and unedited. The panel notes didn\'t hurt the comparison, either. Either way, I know she wasn\'t even being particularly inspired by Monday, especially not copying him; so there\'s not much to be done about it, eh?
# 42
Posted:
Oct 15 2007, 05:27 PM
Sixtem-well as you said yourself, the experiment with your style didn\'t work so well and it really hurt your quality. I have no idea when/if your page issue will be fixed so I can\'t really accurately judge you on your writing here.
Nachte-You know I love you but dude, take a step away from Monday. You have your own style and it is lovely, don\'t mess it up by trying to be like Monday. I did enjoy your story and Gris is really interesting me, but I just kept looking at your comic and seeing Monday which kind of ruined it. (nothing against Monday of course)
Jongbom-dude you hurt me
Nachte-You know I love you but dude, take a step away from Monday. You have your own style and it is lovely, don\'t mess it up by trying to be like Monday. I did enjoy your story and Gris is really interesting me, but I just kept looking at your comic and seeing Monday which kind of ruined it. (nothing against Monday of course)
Jongbom-dude you hurt me
# 41
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 07:34 PM
Jong! What happened?? You could\'ve totally PWNT this match!
# 40
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 05:27 PM
I wish Jong had turned something, but anyways..
Sixtem: Your story was REALLY confusing :X. I tried reading a couple of times, and am still having trouble figuring it out. Artwise, while I liked your approach at a new style, basically the dark shades contrasts (which were really beautiful in some areas), but you had some panels with lots of \"blank\" areas, and the shapes are really a downgrade, as pointed by Qyz, from your previous battles, mostly, anatomy problems.
Nachte: I really liked your story, while I couldn\'t understand what happened in the mirror world, everything else was neat. As for the arts, I feel you took your time in panels you liked more than in others, which were rendered pretty sloppy. I found the story plot pretty interesting!
Good luck you both, even if I gave it to Nachte, really.
Sixtem: Your story was REALLY confusing :X. I tried reading a couple of times, and am still having trouble figuring it out. Artwise, while I liked your approach at a new style, basically the dark shades contrasts (which were really beautiful in some areas), but you had some panels with lots of \"blank\" areas, and the shapes are really a downgrade, as pointed by Qyz, from your previous battles, mostly, anatomy problems.
Nachte: I really liked your story, while I couldn\'t understand what happened in the mirror world, everything else was neat. As for the arts, I feel you took your time in panels you liked more than in others, which were rendered pretty sloppy. I found the story plot pretty interesting!
Good luck you both, even if I gave it to Nachte, really.
# 39
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 04:26 PM
Oh... never mind then.
# 38
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 02:54 PM
Mortido actually defaulted.. .
# 37
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 01:44 PM
Void is being really screwy right now, ever since Kevin put that new system in. I\'m pretty sure Mortido has pages. >.< This is just like the Battle on the Horizon fight...
# 36
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 01:34 PM
i see i see, just though it was a story thing (was thrown off by page order there)
# 35
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 01:24 PM
No one\'s is first, they\'re separate comics. My pages are just out of order at the moment.
# 34
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 01:11 PM
uhh, a quick question before i continue reading...
who\'s part is first?
who\'s part is first?
# 33
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 12:19 PM
Ah well, I knew the risks when I experimented with a new style.
And uh, guys, how the hell did my battle pages get completely out of order? I numbered them in order and somehow they got switched around, like page 2 is page 1 now and the last half of the battle is at the beginning. I guess it\'s a technical error or something D:
And uh, guys, how the hell did my battle pages get completely out of order? I numbered them in order and somehow they got switched around, like page 2 is page 1 now and the last half of the battle is at the beginning. I guess it\'s a technical error or something D:
# 32
Posted:
Oct 13 2007, 12:00 PM
well, I didn\'t read them... i tried, but it really didn\'t interest me in the slightest (don\'t worry, I won\'t be voting, unless I somehow decide to read them)
but I skimmed through all the pages, and I must say, you BOTH went backwards with your art. Sixtem especially. It looks like crap compared to your past work, dude.
I\'ll just hope this is a one time thing, but, yeah :/
but I skimmed through all the pages, and I must say, you BOTH went backwards with your art. Sixtem especially. It looks like crap compared to your past work, dude.
I\'ll just hope this is a one time thing, but, yeah :/
# 31
Posted:
Oct 9 2007, 02:47 PM
..says past due...! D:
# 30
Posted:
Sep 16 2007, 11:24 AM
Mere words cannot express how much I\'m looking forward to this.
# 29
Posted:
Sep 12 2007, 09:14 AM
SIX DAYS!
# 28
Posted:
Sep 11 2007, 03:01 PM
If this is a plot to get JB to change his icon it\'s working.
# 27
Posted:
Sep 11 2007, 02:51 PM
Oh shit he got his episode 8 face on.
# 26
Posted:
Sep 11 2007, 12:48 PM
Six, what the fuck?
# 25
Posted:
Sep 11 2007, 12:21 PM
SIX YOU FUCKER WHAT IS THAT NEW ICON!!!!!
# 24
Posted:
Sep 10 2007, 09:34 PM
fucking shieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettt tt
# 23
Posted:
Aug 28 2007, 09:20 AM
Yes you do sweetheart. >: |
# 22
Posted:
Aug 27 2007, 08:06 PM
She draws during school. >:X
Fine, I DON\'T NEED SLEEP.
Fine, I DON\'T NEED SLEEP.
# 21
Posted:
Aug 27 2007, 06:06 PM
Omg, you\'re rivalring Mondeh :0
# 20
Posted:
Aug 27 2007, 01:49 PM
ah well, I haven\'t posted yet, I\'m sure bad about that.
: ) I\'ve started my three pages a day cycle. ARE YOU READY?
: ) I\'ve started my three pages a day cycle. ARE YOU READY?
# 19
Posted:
Aug 26 2007, 06:04 PM
centipede vaginas where?
# 18
Posted:
Aug 22 2007, 03:42 PM
Centipedes in whose vagina, now?
# 17
Posted:
Aug 20 2007, 12:01 AM
NACHTE IS MY HERO
nah everyones my hero
but GRIS GRIS GRIS
lets see someee
nah everyones my hero
but GRIS GRIS GRIS
lets see someee
# 16
Posted:
Aug 17 2007, 08:13 AM
I was just ranting about Sixtem and Nachte at Wizard World.... obviously my voice was heard.
OBVIOUSLY
OBVIOUSLY
# 15
Posted:
Aug 17 2007, 02:30 AM
In MY vagina?
# 14
Posted:
Aug 16 2007, 07:05 PM
Did someone call for
centipedes ; D
centipedes ; D
# 13
Posted:
Aug 16 2007, 06:06 PM
Shhhhh
You, Jack, and I can have a threeway sometime.
Hot.
You, Jack, and I can have a threeway sometime.
Hot.
# 12
Posted:
Aug 16 2007, 02:26 PM
Ohohoho sixtem last time I checked that was you.
# 11
Posted:
Aug 16 2007, 11:14 AM
Hey now, I couldn\'t leave this place forever. Battles are for fun, so I\'mma start doing them when I want to instead of... just cause. Like I did.
I\'ll do my best.
And Jack, uh, you should get that looked at.
Y\'know, that sand in your vagina.
I\'ll do my best.
And Jack, uh, you should get that looked at.
Y\'know, that sand in your vagina.
# 10
Posted:
Aug 16 2007, 11:11 AM
I\'m very glad to see Nachte back
# 9
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 11:56 PM
I\'m starting to get really excited.
Irreversible indeed.
Irreversible indeed.
# 8
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 10:31 PM
Looking forward to this battle. Go Jong!
# 7
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 10:23 PM
Ha! Y\'know, I was just thinking at myself today at breakfast (which was raisin toast), and I was thinking, \"whatever happened to that Sangre Gris character, anyway?\"
This is easily an all-star cast, so bring us an all-star performance, y\'hear???
This is easily an all-star cast, so bring us an all-star performance, y\'hear???
# 6
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 10:02 PM
Oh shit! Six brought his shoes of +2 hipocrasy! Awesome!
Jong. Demolish them.
Jong. Demolish them.
# 5
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 10:01 PM
Interesting....
well, good luck you guys
well, good luck you guys
# 4
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 08:53 PM
Oh. I thought somebody left void to go to other sites. And you know...do comics elsewhere cause Void wasn\'t doing it for them anymore...-cough-
Oh I\'m pullin\' you\'re leg. Glad to see you back. Make this worth the wait, ya?
Oh I\'m pullin\' you\'re leg. Glad to see you back. Make this worth the wait, ya?
# 3
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 08:11 PM
Die in a fire.
# 2
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 07:57 PM
Tokiyo Tomae!
# 1
Posted:
Aug 15 2007, 07:46 PM
ouch, heart and brain paused a moment
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
4 weeks
Ended:
Oct 20th, 2007
Votes Cast:
21
Page Views:
2094
Winner:
Nachte
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Approval Committee
pity to see jong default too. :c
sixtem, I tried reading yours when the pages were mixed up and got really confused and didn\'t finish.. then with the pages in order I still wasn\'t entirely sure what was going on, though I did make it through the end. and I can\'s say I really care for the look of your comic. while the attempt with heavy black shading is admirable, you\'ll need more practice to get it down. good call with the grey tone though I\'d say.
nachte, yours was a more interesting read for me and kept me more engaged. some of the pages look sloppy or rushed too [is that pencil I see?]. I personally didn\'t get the Monday-esque feeling immediately when I read it, but now that it\'s been mentioned I can see it. just keep on your toes about it, and from the comments I\'m getting that this is something new for you, so keep at it and practice!