i feel like i got a lot more story and purpose in mrpr1993s comic. Citrons story didnt seem to have a lot of meaning as to why or how the carnival master became so weak.
Regardless, keep up the good work both of you. Lets see more comics!!
Original Character Tournament, Round 1 / Hecate vs. The Carnival Master
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Jan 15 2017, 09:35 AM
# 5
Posted:
Jan 10 2017, 05:48 PM
@Barrel, thanks. In hindsight I see what you mean, adding a bit more interaction would have given me more opportunity to explain things.
# 4
Posted:
Jan 10 2017, 03:50 PM
Citron:
A traditional entry was definitely new, but I ended up really confused about the events that happened. With the paneling and lack of detail to a lot of backgrounds it was hard to keep track of what was going on. The ending came pretty quick and I think you could have benefitted from more interaction between the two characters. The humor was good, and I love the rhyme at the end!
Mr. Pr:
A very clever take on the round! I never would have thought to have Hecate bring the mad Carnie up from hell. That being said, the main little quip that's stuck with me is that I think you should really try to differentiate your female characters build-wise. I would also recommend trying to time Carnival Master's rhymes a bit better! The pacing for some of them was a bit awkward to read and it didn't translate well at the end between the last two pages. The line before he takes Hecate into the ticket was aces, though! More of that!
A traditional entry was definitely new, but I ended up really confused about the events that happened. With the paneling and lack of detail to a lot of backgrounds it was hard to keep track of what was going on. The ending came pretty quick and I think you could have benefitted from more interaction between the two characters. The humor was good, and I love the rhyme at the end!
Mr. Pr:
A very clever take on the round! I never would have thought to have Hecate bring the mad Carnie up from hell. That being said, the main little quip that's stuck with me is that I think you should really try to differentiate your female characters build-wise. I would also recommend trying to time Carnival Master's rhymes a bit better! The pacing for some of them was a bit awkward to read and it didn't translate well at the end between the last two pages. The line before he takes Hecate into the ticket was aces, though! More of that!
# 3
Posted:
Jan 10 2017, 11:45 AM
@radji Didn't want to do more, no. It's supposed to be atmospheric. I saw these two as sort of forces of nature and felt like a grim dark lovecraftian twist would fit them well.
Also, I really don't feel like exposition is the best choice in any story, so I avoid it at all costs and will continue to do so.
Also, I really don't feel like exposition is the best choice in any story, so I avoid it at all costs and will continue to do so.
# 2
Posted:
Jan 10 2017, 11:10 AM
@citron: i had a bit of a hard time understanding what was going on, but i suppose that you wanted to do more.
but creepy n the funny way.
@MrPr: making hecate responsible for the master's rampage was a hellova good idea !! absolutly loves how you introduced us to the character ^^
but creepy n the funny way.
@MrPr: making hecate responsible for the master's rampage was a hellova good idea !! absolutly loves how you introduced us to the character ^^
# 1
Posted:
Jan 10 2017, 10:13 AM
MrPr I really enjoyed your work here. our stories took different tones. Mine more serious and horrific, yours more action oriented and comedic. I can't wait to see the critique but regardless, win or loose, this battle was a pleasure.
Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jan 16th, 2017
Votes Cast:
28
Page Views:
1586
Winner:
MrPr1993
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citron- The "two fave philosophers" line is hilarious, and going traditional was an ambitious choice, but it was definitely a bit confusing, and carnival's death felt a bit unceremonious. In a way, i almost feel this comic could've used less carnival master and more hecate.