Dramamine / Holden Shark

Dramamine / Holden Shark

Dramamine — Holden Shark


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PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 27 2016, 02:06 PM
This is some great stuff and it's really awesome to see your work at more complete levels now!

Page 2 is really hard for me to read visually, idunno if i'm the only one with the monitor settings. In pages 1-2 both though for as big and close as the moon is and with no other light source we're not getting alot of light actually hitting Holden when we should be. It gets better later but never quite at the sweet spot. Working with light sources is something you wanna work on. For the backgrounds on the back end, simple silhouettes are ok but I think you should have gone the extra level with some gradients so they mesh with the sky a bit more. On the narrative level, I didn't feel convinced, myself, that the exchange was enough for Lily to forgive him, I feel like a little more time would be needed for that especially for Lilyfeather. Despite that the dialogue pacing and characterization with Holden is great and it's really interesting just watching how he handles these scenarios that keep getting thrust upon him.

Hope to see much more from you in the future!

petarvee
Artist
83 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 24 2016, 07:52 PM
Overall, I can dig it! It's a good "let's get the Where Are They Now aspect out of the way before the winter collab" bit.

Taking into account you only had a week for 10 pages, this is pretty impressive! Though, it looks like when the screws are tightened, some major elements sorta fall by the wayside. Just sorta starting from the beginning, your initial color choices are like *super hard to read*. Like it took switching and tilting a monitor to really make it out. When really, you can get the same effect with some mid-tone blues and heavy chiaroscuro. But things quickly come into focus between then and the day-scene. The splash of pink really does make everything around Holden a bit clearer without too much change. Which is a good note for the future. And during the daytime, the backgrounds understandably fall off the wagon. Though I do dig em on the last few pages, when you've thrown detail to the wind and started using hard silhouettes as background elements. That's the smart editing-at-every-step I like to see. Cause you dont always gotta add detail or realism to a background to make it work, you just gotta get it to *read* correctly.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1084 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 23 2016, 09:24 PM
I am stoked fellow voiders are taking bad stuff (hell, any kinda stuff) from other artists battles and utlizing them to further plot and expand on character development. When I put two and two together over what these two were discussing, I leaned in, interested in how this was gonna be unpacked. I think you really set the tone with that stab as the opener for their argument, but the shock quickly fizzled. Regardless of whether or not Holden feels it, or is affected, the  way he behaves was of such mild inconvenience, it left me wondering if Lily hadn't stabbed him at all, would their conversation be any different?
I know the running theme with void is that its denizens are OP and able to survive most anything ,but I was kind've hoping to see a physical exploration of Holden hurting in the same way he seems to be mentally. When you put both events together into one comic, it seems pretty disjointed.


Shen
Artist
1303 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 21 2016, 04:33 AM
GOSH i have so many emotions about this XD just so everyone knows, i knew Bang was making a BB and that Lily was in it but i didnt know much beyond that so this is fresh to me lol! Like Crow said I love seeing this sensitive side of Holden. Hes having an emotional conflict, hes fearful, hes making bad choices and regretting them. Hes very HUMAN and I love That. A goddess told him to go home to prevent a Bad Thing, he went home but he didnt prevent the Bad Thing because he didnt understand and he was afraid. You dont see that a lot, utter failure and i like to see protagonists fail because it makes their victories more meaningful. Lily in this, for starts, I love that you coloured her roots growing out- I wasnt clear enough on that for holiday party refs but you knew my intent with her and keep that in so thanks for that! I DID think she was maybe she was SHOCKINGLY violent, even for someone who knows Holden cant be killed by a stabbing, its not usually her first response to bad news- but i DO understand her anger at "i saw you were gonna get attacked in a vision but didnt do anything and then you got attacked but we're still cool, right?" like FUCK YOU lol. Ill forgive that though because shes going through a lot of STUFF right now ^^; im praising the hell out of this but i also understand im bias as fuck because i love this sinking garbage ship for some reason so on a technical note ill say theres places where the colouring seemed a lil rushed, blocky and even missing chunks so the BG shines through in some spots. The ocean is a lil lazy an the colours are too dark in the first 2 pages though i did like how Holden stayed dark all through the vision scene while Boomerideth was brightly lit. Its usually a wise rule to try to commit to having one actual background panel per page. That said you are def improving on the 180 camera flip problem you used to have and i liked a lot of the colours and angles you used. Overall, its super great to have Holden back in the fray cuz hes one of my faves and your art is great! Hope to see a lot more battles from you soon! (maybe even a rematch with me~ WINK)

Stormcrow
Artist
58 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 20 2016, 04:32 PM
Aw geez, I really like this. I'm so glad to see Holden's back, and the more I see of him the more I like him as a character; him being such a delinquent and a bit of an idiot sometimes just makes his moments of sincerity feel all the more heartfelt. It's good to see him back :)

Radji
Artist
543 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 20 2016, 09:43 AM
NOW KISS
no, srsly, Holden and lily have one of the most interesting relationship in VOID, it's good to see it developing
didn't see that stabbing coming, DAAAMMNNNN must have hurt

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Dec 26th, 2016
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