Thank you so much everybody for all the comments and critiques! Im glad you all like my colours! i see what you are saying about the "loose" art. Im at a bit of an impass while my style, trying to get into something new but still being stuck in the old and sometimes it makes things confusing and messy. also a couple pages i just drew drunk im sorry XD I'll try to keep working on it so that it its less in-between-phase. Im glad you all liked the fusion and the possession! Im not super duper creative as my creativity score will reflect or a very good storyteller so my endings will always be a bit predictable but im glad at least the bits getting to the inevitable and obvious ending are entertaining enough! I went full anime on this one, basically, and it was a lot of fun just making a straight-up magical girl adventure! to respond to nana, no, shes not a gem and im sure im not the first person to use fusion in a comic lol. she can fuse with Dolly because Dolly is dead but also a magical girl- as I wrote, "My only power is necromancy!" "And Im dead! We can COMBINE OUR MAGIC!" so it worked because of the types of magic they both possess. as for this comment:  "If Lily is able to be possessed somewhat easily, what is going to stop any demon from attempting the same thing and having her just walk into Hell to be held captive for the next two years? " This is the first time Lily's been possessed, and gosh. I wonder what would happen if other demons thought of it? I wonder what would happen if someone DID try to do as you describe? how WOULD she handle that? Wouldnt that be a fun story? Wouldnt that make for an interesting development?~
Jackster i gushed about this to you in the chat but i loved your story SO MUCH OH MAN! I know Its only part one of, like, 5 or something but i CANT WAIT for the rest its so good! My only gripe is though I understand my Lily's frustration, she seems a little TOO MEAN at the start throwing Dolly out. if anyone understands being hunted be demons, surely Lilyfeather would! But this was a fantastic comic and I cant wait to see where the story goes from here!
Thank you so much everyone for the votes and comments!

This was such a blast to red. Really, both sides! You both brought similar, as well as different things to the table which left me leaning back in my chair spellbound. Definitely a comic to be proud of, on both counts. Now onto the hack n' slash of crit!

JACKSTER- You really went to town creating this world. I think you got some great practice with the stuff you did in the summer collab as I definitely feel the content Lily pulled up from hell fits in the hell you've shared here. Things like the coat rack, and the 'redrum' on a dingy apartment fridge all the fantastic touches that make your pages and environments a wonder to pore over.  I'll echo the previous comments that you went whole hog on the details for some panels- perhaps even too much, because the pages/panels where you go entirely without backgrounds is painfully apparent. Perhaps a happy medium may be something you could aim for, for next time.
Overall, while this was visually stunning, I'm a bit surprised that this, felt like alot of set up. Granted, as we're all aware you have big plans for this story, set up is needed, but with such great moments like Levi busting in and Lily getting caught, I wanted to see more flash bang action. It all just seemed to ramp up before stopping short.
I've said it in discord chat already, but I definitely have my suspicions on who this hooded figure may be. You're doin' a bang up job keeping a buttoned lip over it, so I'll just say I am definitely looking forward to the upcoming multiple parts to this saga.

SHEN- Wow, woooooow. Gurl, your colors are so freaking sweet. You have such a fantastic handle on handling magical effects and hues. It almost felt like I was watching an episode of a cuter void-ier of Sailor Moon. XD
I cannot get enough of the fact you utilized Dolly being dead as a concept to link to Lily's necromancy. I actually gave a little gasp on the page where Dolly points it out and outstretches her hand before they combine. It was such a neat idea that really paid off in how you portrayed it in your side of the battle. It's such a shame Nina couldn't et behind this and make it a three way, because as previous comments have said, this trio and their adventures are such fun to read.
I think my biggest complaint is you can tell when you're done with a page. XD whether its because you're swamped with other projects, overwhelmed or just fed up with working on comics (I mean you've told me, I know all the stuff you gotta do!) it tends to reflect in your work. Your characters get looser- almost too loose. To the point it saps away from the tone you're trying to set because the reader is sitting there wondering why all the characters got gummy and lost all their bones. Your work is alway so fine, I wouldn't mind you taking a battle extension to ensure your figures and backgrounds are on point

More magical girl transformations! More! More! More! 8D

Jackster: That urban decay in Beogallem and the interior of the apartment is drop-dead gorgeous! On the subject of backgrounds, though, there are some places where you go whole pages without drawing a single background, and it almost feels like we're looking at a different comic. I can understand omitting backgrounds in some panels in order to save time, but perhaps scattering those panels throughout the comic more evenly and making sure that each page has at least one panel with a background to establish place would help maintain visual consistency. I loved the writing and the choreography, and I agree with Bobo that the adventure has the epic yet down-to-earth feel of Bone. I'm so psyched for part 2!

Shen: I love the vis-effects in this, like the dark energy bursting from Lily's back, and Lil' Lily's giant flame-form! Your characters' anatomy is very squishy, which I like because it allows them to really squash and stretch while acting, but sometimes it gives the impression that the characters' bone structure is squishy and bendy, too. Making sure a character's body is proportioned correctly will help give the dynamic action scenes (where you want to distort proportions a little bit to emphasize the action) even more impact. I liked the writing for this comic, especially Lil' Lilly's parts. That panel on page 5 where she starts throwing a tantrum in Lily's body is priceless! XD

I NEED MAGICAL DOLLILY FEATHERLION IN MY LIFE AAAAAAAAA

Both of these are so good, it's a shame one has to lose Jackster, your comic had such a strong story with its continuity from previous comics, and the journey through Hell had a very Bone-esque feel to it, which I love. I can't wait for the next chapter!

Shen, your coloring is just getting better and better, and I absolutely loved the way your story all came together into this big climax and all of the awesome powers you came up with between Dolly and Lilyfeather. I wasn't expecting any of that, and it made me super excited to see Lily continue to progress both personally and in her powers. I just love your art and storytelling so much, and can't wait for more! <3

PS—I love the way both of you showed how powerful Lil' Lily is and made her feel like a very tangible, real threat to your characters. She makes an excellent villain, and I know Nina must be proud hehe

@Jackster:

Hot diggity dang dog damn. That was beautiful. Honestly, when things picked up and the plot really started moving I was hella invested. Also, good job on the length of it. 32 Pages in 5 weeks is a damn fine accomplishment, especially if youve got Regular Life on top of it all. I feel like your biggest strength is definitely making your characters and the space around them feel *real*. Like everything's got the appropriate weight to it and has just enough detail to co-exist with everything around it. Overall, ya nailed the art aspect and I dug it.

*~And now for the crit-part~* Like I said, once things got going, it was rad as fuck. But getting to that point was the hard part. I won't knock ya for wordiness; I'm absolutely of the mind that all that dialogue was worth putting there. And as someone who runs a partially slice-of-life webcomic, I totally support the mundane scenes juxtaposing the action. Especially because it sets a baseline for the rest of the world. But, back to the point: How you shoot the conversation can get pretty samey. Like, the talking heads method is seen a lot in strip comics and even animation, but thats basically where it lives and dies. I woulda loved to see the focus brought to the body language to convey emotional conversation, rather than locking it on to the face. Like, I obviously don't need to tell you the importance of body language; you absolutely rock it in your zoomed out shots; but changing it up with like, shots of hands wringing, shots of 2 characters touching, or scuffing shoes, or slumping shoulders. Shots where the minor shift in posture is the focus, rather than the face. But honestly, that's the only notable flaw I'm seeing. I wait with absolutely bated breath to see Part 2 of this awesometastic story.

@Shen:
MAAAAAAAAAN. You know how to get me right in the heart. Peppering that fusion and that character development in there? Aw hells yeah. Got me in that sweet spot. Also, I totally loved the super dynamic angles and poses you went for. Honestly it made the action *feel* like action; and really sucks you in to the mood of the moment. So absolute props on that. Plus, I can't wait to see where Lilyfeather goes with this new power, how far it extends, what she can do with it, and what other mystical jazz she's got lying dormant.

*~And now for the crit-part~* Honestly I feel like the big point here is reference. Like, you've got every reason to be totally confident in what you can do; because you do it super well--which makes the times when you're not so confident shine even brighter. For backgrounds, hell, just do what I do: trace an existing photo to get a good base in, then spruce it up with your own accessories and set-dressing n shit. It's a good way to save time and frustration and really give every shot that bit of *oomph*. And the same goes for poses and facial expressions. Most of the time, they're totally on-point and funky fresh. But sometimes they feel a bit too loose and dynamic for like "just sitting there" or something mundane like that. Maybe look towards *that* sorta reference, of just like, people at rest and with reeled-in expressions. Cause you can turn it to 11 with the best of em. But when everythings at an 11, nothing is.

Shen

Once again I love your color decisions as they always complement one another and add to the atmosphere of each panel. One thing I wasn't the biggest fan of is page 2, the 3rd panel, how dolly has this eerie human face where lily looks like something out of a slapstick cartoon. I understand the point was to display her emotions I just think it looks somewhat last minute when compared to the heavily detailed Dolly. Another thing to note is on page 5 Dolly's sword is looking just a little warped and wobbly, a straight line tool or the use of a ruler on your tablet will get that line smooth and straight (like on page 11 and 12).

I read through the previous Lily battles in addition to description of her on the character page and I am rather confused. As I understand it Lily is meant to be dragged to Hell when she turns 18 so some demon might marry her. After the battle with Joey the mark on her back appeared, and in the "We're going High School Musical" battle a demon even states he might just lock Lily up for two years. If Lily is able to be possessed somewhat easily, what is going to stop any demon from attempting the same thing and having her just walk into Hell to be held captive for the next two years? I might be reading too much into the finer details however; I am just wondering how you plan to prevent that from happening in future battles or whenever Lily might actually start aging.

There is one other issue I have with the comic but, more than likely, this is just a personal peeve. Is Lily a gem? I only ask this since the transformation between Dolly and Lily feels somewhat like this and if the only critiea to do this fusion is someone has to be dead does that open the door for Lily transforming with any zombie or dead being she meets? This could become a very interesting power for her to work with I just think setting the limits would be helpful. I think I'll leave anything relating to anatomy alone since I noticed several other people have touched on it. Thanks again for making such interesting comics!

Jackster

As always your line work and control of comic flow is wonderful and heavily appreciated. I also really love it when artist add moving images or flickering lights to help make their comic go the extra mile just, like the very last panel on page 5. I do enjoy the simpler color scheme since it helps it feel much like the Bones comics in the sense that the story is more important than the coloring and other details.

My main grievance with the comic overall is the length. I understand there was a story to be told, however I think there were panels that could have been cut or pages that might have been wrapped up sooner. I love that you were able to put out a fully lined and base colored story, though at times the dialogue seemed to drag on even after the page or panel was done. I am sure you wanted to extend the story as well and we do have next year to look forward to as well I am just unsure if I will remember everything that's happened by that time. I do look forward to all your future stories and the continuation of all your hard work!

My mind was blown away
SUCH AWESOMENESS

Jackster: that menghty comic never wavered in quality, and i loved discovering Lil'Lily's home situation. It was fun and ectic, and i'm hyped for the next issue !
*i think i know who's that under the hoooood*

Shen: ACTION ! SUCH ACTION ! the clever use of demon possession was well appreciated, it really gave that halloween vibe  ( even thought halloween has long passed, LOL) Zombies RULZ and so do upgraded items !!

Great read both of you.
Jackster great comic excellent quality, colors writing everything. I do always look forward to your comics. You make everything so fluid and expressive.
Shen i can agree you need to work on anatomy and tightning up your work. Everything does tend to look a little sloppy and you can def work on variety in poses. Great colors, good story. I dunno i enjoyed both of these alot. Thanks for doing it.

LILYFEATHER IS FINALLY A REAL MAGICAL GIRL!

Jackster: DANG how do you fit so much comic at such quality? I love how you used the characters and fleshed out the worlds. And then there's a cliffhanger on top of that! Top notch. I do think that there were some parts where some actions really needed bigger panels and placement to get the full oomph though.

Shen: Even when you have sugar candy coloring, Lily's story gets scarier and scarier. I love those fiery demonic Dolly panels in particular. That emerging sequence really got me, but, on second look, it does kinda look like something's coming out of her butt...

JACKSTER:

There's no much I can critique in regards to your art here, we all know you're pretty damn strong in that category, but I will say I definitely noticed the Calvin and Hobbes influence panelling, especially for the dialogue heavy scenes and I am all down for that shit.

I will say a bit for the writing though, and I don't have any particular major gripes, but speaking about dialogue (is that a pun?) sometimes I felt like there was a bit too much - or more should I say too much monologue for Lily (Lilyfeather). There's a few instances where she's speaking out loud - which is fine in itself - but I felt as if it could have been cut down. Sometimes it felt as if she was explaining stuff to the reader things we already knew, such as Levi having rescued Dolly. Other parts would have just worked as silent panels, in my opinion anyway, such as when Lily is stuck in that net - I personally thought if the panel was left silent but with the 'time past' caption. It would have done the trick, we didn't really need to know how long she'd been up there specifically. But in all, Lily's monologuing didn't spoil any of the story or flow.

A particular thing I did REALLY REALLY LIKE was the revealed motivation of demon Lily kidnapping Dolly in the first place. The fact that she was excited that it would mean her and her Dad could get a better home and she could spend more time with him felt - for a demon - really human. I thought that was fantastic little touch.

SO OVERALL, a really strong comic, as I expected from you. But also curse you for the cliff hanger. Curse youuuuu.

 
SHEN:

MAH GURL. MAH BUDDY.

I thought Demon Lily's appearance by possessing Lilyfeather was really original and creative - in a, sorta, horrifying way. It was my favourite part. You're m very good with horror elements in your comic without going too over the top (unless it's needed, in which case it gives those instances more impact).

I'll start with the art, you've made it quite a thing to improve your colouring this year and id definitely say you've benefited from that and you're at a pretty strong colouring position. What I'd like to see from you in the future is tightening up your lines - I just feel (and this is personal so you can take it or leave it as you please) as if your style would benefit from being tightened up a little. I suppose this boils sort of partly to anatomy, but I wouldn't say your anatomy is weak. I'd say It's down to how you ink, it can be quite loose at times and can get a bit sloppy looking, I know for this comic you were rushed for time because of other commitments and I have kept that in mind. Tryout some more line variation and other inking styles - and see if you like any of them, perhaps that could be your thing for next year such as how this year it was colours.

For story, other than Demon Lily's entrance it was pretty "safe" and I suppose - in a way - a predictable ending. I'm not saying it was bad but it would have been nice to have a twist thrown in maybe but I don't have anything to suggest. The dialogue was natural and flowed well, I liked the Cheerios line. the pacing was steady at the start but then picked up quite a bit at the end and suddenly the battle was over and they had won - I know that this will be down to wanting a completed story and that can be tricky as shit when there's a tight deadline, so I more put that to the time constraints as flow or pacing isn't anything I've seen as a reoccurring issue.

Also don't beat yourself or compare yourself so much to others. Honestly, you did great and I love you.



GOOD JOB FOLKS.

At least Shen's comic was downright awesome!

Great job on your half!

Uploaded my part.

Just to let everyone know, I'm planning this whole story to be a multi-parter saga, with this battle being only part one, while the other parts will be uploaded as BBs in the near future. So either if I win or lose this battle, I'm still doing them.

The reason for this was because when I came up with the story at the beginning of January, the whole thing came out too long to be put into a single battle, but at the same time I didn't want to shorten the story because I was actually impressed by it. So since then, I decided to make it this way.

I'll try to get Part Two started at the beginning of 2017. But right now, I am pooped from drawing this comic and the other previous ones all together.

neens was originally going to join us and couldnt but jackster and I didnt feel like changing our scripts so thank you for letting us borrow Li'l Lily, Neens! Jackster this fight was a long time in the making, I had a LOT of fun, thank you for battling me! I hope I did your Dolly justice!

So close. So so close....

YEEEEESS

We wanted Nina to get in on this battle, but she was too busy with Scarmageddon and the Halloween collab. So we decided to start the battle without her.

Sorry neens.

Lets Get Adorable