Hello
Fred - I told you stuff already.
Pyras - I like your color scheme, it's hecka nice looking, almost Disney ish. I'm jealous of your amazing views in each panel - the set up and framing of each panel is so good that I almost didn't notice the lack of backgrounds until near the end of reading where I was like Hey Wait What happened to the on-looking crowd of people? Then went back to reread to find out, then realized that they all got killed I guess, then bemoaned the lack of dead bodies in subsequent panels. There was one arm that looked wonky but everything else was cool and didn't stick out as weirdly proportioned. I love the final panel of page four where they're standing together, it looks epic. Also epic, the part where Lucy floated into the sky with the yellow light bits and I was excited to see something cool happen to her and the creature dude was cool but maybe woulda been cooler if instead of "I'm floating, now I'm on a dude" it was Lucy turning into the dude. Creature Lucy woulda been fuckin cool and badass, I think. I super love the "Meeeeeeee" text bubble that went outside and continued into another panel. I'm not a huge fan of the elipse -tool speech bubbles, they're a bit too boring and uniform and maybe you could try drawing your own speech bubbles so they could fit the mood of their words and give the words more space because they seem a bit claustrophobic. The biggest and main issue for me was the borders. The panel coloring is so smooth and neat and the borders are grey and white texture. The texture was really distracting and physically busy so my eyes kept being drawn to it instead of the comic, so it made it hard to stay focused on reading, so harder to follow the story. To sum it up, your strengths are in the actual art and panel composition, while I feel you need to focus and work on the more technical aspects like borders and text. I'm sure someone has/will bemoan the lack of backgrounds, but as I said, I didn't even notice it until almost the end and really, I'm not too sure that the crowd of onlookers were that necessary other tHan to make the characters look badass by killing stuff (they already look badass on their own!)
And I'm with Fern - needs more tits. Keeping something SFW in a comic with blood spatter and human sacrifices and eye-gouging talk, like. It's almost there. Don't be modest on our account, might as well go all the way.
Overall - Pretty cool battle. You seem well-matched and super good on you both getting out full color fabulous completed eye candy.
Sorry for any bad spelling, weird random words or something cause I'm typing this on my phone (which I immediately regretted) and sometimes my phone likes to have its own say.
Lucy vs. BLACK|WHITE
Critiques & Comments
# 8
Posted:
Oct 29 2016, 11:41 PM
# 7
Posted:
Oct 24 2016, 09:15 AM
I meant Lucy's bra. But "I wanted to keep the comic SFW" says everything!
# 6
Posted:
Oct 24 2016, 07:42 AM
it's not a bra actually it's just two brown bands over the chest; the dresss is originally topless aside from the bands, I added cloth over the top as well, it's the same reason I kept Lucy in her underwear, I wanted to keep the comic SFW
# 5
Posted:
Oct 24 2016, 04:05 AM
Fredeededed: 1. oh yessssssss! Bubbbbbb! 2. Nice to see a dark side, when usually your stories are hilarious nonsense. I really loved the story, I think I am getting old and enjoy this kind of sad stuff.
Pyras: Did Egyptians wear bras?? is there a reason you are trying to protect the modesty of Lucy? Also, that's some dodgy panelling bottom half of page 5 and page 8... I did really like the story though, made me giggle!
Pyras: Did Egyptians wear bras?? is there a reason you are trying to protect the modesty of Lucy? Also, that's some dodgy panelling bottom half of page 5 and page 8... I did really like the story though, made me giggle!
# 4
Posted:
Oct 23 2016, 08:28 AM
Fred: i actually felt bad for Lucy here. Her self doubt and inner fears are really eating awy at her. there, there Lucy, your a good momma. With issues. But who doesn't?
...Squeeee spiderbabies !
Pyrras: The egyptian mythos theme is funny and kind of halloween like. haha, and where the lich thingy says " oh noes, yur alives !" i was listening to Without me from eminiem at the moment when you hear "guess who's back...back again?"
That scar is hella beneficial for Lucy. AND A CHICK MAGNET ? ATTA GURL LUCY.
...Squeeee spiderbabies !
Pyrras: The egyptian mythos theme is funny and kind of halloween like. haha, and where the lich thingy says " oh noes, yur alives !" i was listening to Without me from eminiem at the moment when you hear "guess who's back...back again?"
That scar is hella beneficial for Lucy. AND A CHICK MAGNET ? ATTA GURL LUCY.
# 3
Posted:
Oct 22 2016, 04:14 AM
# 2
Posted:
Oct 9 2016, 02:04 PM
<3
# 1
Posted:
Oct 8 2016, 02:15 PM
aw, cool!! Good luck, im hype for this!
Scar Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Oct 29th, 2016
Votes Cast:
35
Page Views:
1736
Winner:
PyrasTerran
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