School Days / Jeanna vs. Kazue L. Burns

School Days / Jeanna vs. Kazue L. Burns

School Days — Jeanna vs. Kazue L. Burns

360 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference

by Energy

242 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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Global Moderator
# 7   Posted: Sep 15 2016, 10:17 PM
Swag: whoa its weird to me to see Lilyfeather acting a bit like a bully when usually in my comics shes the one getting bullied lol but thanks for the rad cameo! I like her using her powers for sports, like why not XD that aside the inking is GORGEOUS where its done and i love the cute round style! Kazue and Jeanna are an adorable team. its too bad you couldnt finish this, better luck next comic!
energy: you should try to add the dialogue even to unfinished comics so we can follow the story better, this starts strong but falls apart a bit at the end. the environmental art is getting really good!

# 6   Posted: Sep 15 2016, 01:21 PM
i COMPLETLY forgot to comment here so:

TMWPS: it is me or every highschool romance begins because of sport? lol
Energy: ...gratuitous violence. my favorite kind

The Man Who Planted Swag
# 5   Posted: Sep 15 2016, 01:13 PM
hey guys, just wanted to say thanks for reading the comics despite them being incomplete, i really means a lot!
Sorry that I couldn't give you guys a complete comic this round, but I promise that once I'm this semester of school is over I will be coming back to make a TON O' COMICS (completed this time ;3)

# 4   Posted: Sep 14 2016, 06:35 AM
Swag: I really like how you're incorporating more dark blacks into your inking style! It's very dynamic. Also, I really hope you go back and finish that last panel of page 6, where the ball cuts through the zombies to get to Lilyfeather, 'cause that was awesome XD

Energy: I like your page 1 because of all those backgrounds you were planning out! You should practice using perspective grids to make the placement of everything more natural. It also would have been nice to have some more dialogue written in like you have on page 4 so we could understand more of the story.

# 3   Posted: Sep 11 2016, 08:31 PM
Shame you guys weren't able to completely finish these, you seemed to have fun ideas.

@Swag -
The linework you were able to get done looks great and the story was really cute!

@Energy -
You have some really neat backgrounds here and for what story there is it was easy enough to follow even without the text, so that's good!

Hope you both are able to get more done next time!

Community Manager
# 2   Posted: Sep 9 2016, 04:35 PM
whoops, looks like you both tripped on this 1 week deadline. Remember, 1 week is pretty much Hard Mode, see how you can make the deadline for your next battle work better with your schedule

Swag: Cute story and the first page looks tight with the lines, can't critique much cause there's several unfinished pages and the quality dips around, but I got overall what was happening and that's something

Energy: I'll fill you in on a strategy of mine for my comics: I *ALWAYS* leave at least one hour free before I need to turn my comic in for the night, stop all drawing and dedicate that hour exclusively to the words. That way even when I've turned in just sketches, a complete story is always there. As it stands I can  only guess at some of what's happening here, and that affects all your scores, not just Quality. Try to keep your story's comprehensibility on your mind for next time

Global Moderator
# 1   Posted: Sep 2 2016, 03:58 AM
ahh ive been waiting for this battle!!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Sep 15th, 2016
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 505
Winner: The Man Who Planted Swag

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