Vespa Valencia vs. Good Wife Bad Wife

Vespa Valencia vs. Good Wife Bad Wife

Vespa Valencia vs. Good Wife Bad Wife

430 points
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Crit level: No preference

431 points
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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 12   Posted: Sep 29 2016, 05:12 PM
Hey, sorry for being a bit of a glum no-show lately. It's been a little weird for me. Thanks for your comments. I was worried that the image I used for teen Vespa wouldn't really fit or communicate.

le Fred, I cackled at the Vespa Bucks. Those have to make it into something else. I also loved that little "Vespa out" at the end.
To be honest, though, one reason I hadn't said anything until now is that I'm still a little confused about what's going on, particularly around page 5, and I've been trying to figure it out before saying anything...

Fred v2.0.1
# 11   Posted: Sep 28 2016, 01:17 AM
Yeah, what y'all are saying is totes the truth. There's quite a few things I'd do differently here, time I would allocate more smarterly. I'll probably try this kinda stuff again with what I've learned some time, we'll see.

Flutters, what peeps are saying about yours is also the truth. It is hecka cute and the meet up you made for the wives is lovely, that's cannon now. The fancy cat burglar shtick is perfect for a younger more naive Ria... And I'm just all in giggles over that human circle. It's good stuff.

# 10   Posted: Sep 27 2016, 05:53 PM
@FLUTTER Such a cute story, I like that you worked in a history the built up to the final scene. It added a lot of depth to some pretty casual dialogue. impressive storytelling for sure.

I admire and strive for artwork as clean as yours. I'm definitely not in a place where I feel confident in critiquing your artwork.

@FRED love the style, everyone's commenting on the faces, it really comes down t the face rig you're using. try working on adding more bones in the face and maybe a few preset emotions you can use as bases and adjust them from there. I'm a huge fan of the 64 aesthetic though. so I was really impressed with this.

I was somewhat underwhelmed with the story though. There was good character interaction but the conclusion felt flat. loved it regardless.

Approval Committee
# 9   Posted: Sep 25 2016, 04:00 PM
LEFRED- I cannot get over how fascinating it is to see you take on a battle and come at us with such unique and creative methods. From pixelwork, lineless, and now 3D you never fail to astound and kinda get me itching to try things outside my comfort zone style wise. Kudos! If you ever want to revisit this method of comicking, i'd be interested in seeing you push the medium now that you got a general handle on it. But lawd, Vspa's cheekbones though- loved it!
Story wise, I gotta say, while I was invested at the begining, the end kind of falls flat for me. We started off in the middle of proceedings which is a heist gone wrong, but there doesn't seem to be much resolution. Granted, I'm usually a fan of open ended endings, but this didnt jive for me.

FLUTTERBYES- This was a really cute story. Begining in a flashback with young mascara stained Vespa trying to figure her business out was totally unexpected and kind of amusing to watch. Dancing in a human circle totally had me cackling. It was neat to go from an chance encounter with one of your opponents to revisiting them in the present, even if it was only a drive by. The humor was still there in Vespa's exuberant 'power of love!' cry.
As for the art itself, I've seen your work before, and its usually great, especially under the gun of a tight deadline, so I'm thrown as to how simple this side of yours is. This comic definitely would've benefitted rom some establishing shots and backgrounds, just to allow the reader to orient themselves as to where and WHEN they are. Additionally, don't be afraid to use those blacks! You have so much white space page to page and panel to panel, getting some heavy blacks in there to block out shapes, shadows or what have you, i think would've greatly helped.

# 8   Posted: Sep 23 2016, 12:06 AM
Jacques channeling her inner Luigi in that truck

Global Moderator
# 7   Posted: Sep 22 2016, 03:54 PM
flutz: artwise a little rushed, not much for backgrounds but i ADORED the story, your writing is always so cute and clever i cant get enough! I love rebellious little vespa, what a cutie! This was a fun comic, I hope you can finish the art up a little more next time!
Fred: I like the IDEA of the models but like some others have said they come out some times a bit stiff and expressionless. but i like the earthy colour pallete, makes it feel very real, and the story, Vespa just bein an absolute shit and ruining everything and then fucking off to let janine deal with the consequences, very fairy-like! Great stuff!

# 6   Posted: Sep 21 2016, 05:32 PM
Flutterbyes: Okay first off, angsty teen Vespa is adorable, just thought I'd get that settled. Second, the story was fun to read through, it was cute watching Vespa trying to insist on Ria's love for Janine and that last bit with her magic hitting a dud was a nice touch of comedy. However it leads me to beg a question, in what kind of position in the world are fairies in that they can just decide to send one of their kind to a human school? Keep in mind it could help to set some time to cement their existence into the world to make decisions like these seem more plausible.

Le Fred: I'll commemorate you on jumping to a more 3D style for this comic, it's always great to see artists trying out new styles. Though I'll have to agree with Pyras on that it limits the expressions the characters emit and just makes them look very stiff. Aside from that I really like the inclusion of greens in your color palette, it helps bring out the unpleasantness of the situation and it especially looks great at the end with an all green palette, enforcing the unfortunate outcome of the story

Overall congrats to both of you! I'm hoping to see more from you two soon!

Community Manager
# 5   Posted: Sep 21 2016, 11:30 AM
what the heck happened to my critique!

*rewriting quick version*

Fluttersbye: Not your best work visually know you can do better musta run out of time but man that story is tight and awesome and sweet

le Fred: Bold move going with 3d models but sometimes they're too stiff especially with the facial expressions which mutes the emotions of the whole story

all in all good good make more comics plz

# 4   Posted: Sep 12 2016, 10:07 PM
Alright! Good to see these two in the fray!

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
# 3   Posted: Sep 12 2016, 08:26 AM
Much hype

Global Moderator
# 2   Posted: Aug 30 2016, 05:28 PM
ohh this will be great!! Good luck!!

# 1   Posted: Aug 30 2016, 05:08 PM
This is gonna be one interesting match-up!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Sep 27th, 2016
Votes Cast: 20
Page Views: 761
Winner: Fred v2.0.1

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