The Man Who Planted Swag vs. Chimaeric

The Man Who Planted Swag vs. Chimaeric

The Man Who Planted Swag vs. Chimaeric

The Man Who Planted Swag100%
547 points
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Crit level: No preference

Chimaeric0%
0 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Kozispoon
Approval Committee
1055 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 26 2016, 11:00 PM
SWAG- Haha, this was so darling. I had to do a doubletake to remember and realize this was an artist match, but I'm so glad it was! Not only did I get introduced to the most adorable of characters, this little unconventional slice of life comic totally put a smile on my face. I especially like your range of expressions- most notably page 2 where our resident lil' witch keeps saying 'no' from panel to panel. Its a great way to make an otherwise splash page fulla stuff (I spy a Mimi hat!) pretty hilarious as well as pleasing to the eye. You had such a fun whimsical look its a shame the word bubbles were kinda wonky. I'd definitely invest in either hand writing, making your own font, or going to various font sites like blambot or dafont to use a pre made font that better fits a comic. Keep an eye on your word bubble tails too as I'm not sure if its Margo talking or her dead president since the word bubble tail is pointing downwards and not up towards her face where her mouth would be.
Additionally, keep an eye on your posing and anatomy. You got some great cartoony moments  like Margo explaining her assignment on the bottom of page 3, but on page 6 where the store clerk goes to get her order, her body looks all twisted about. Not to mention she is holding that paper really oddly- almost as if you planned to draw her facing camera, but changed your mind halfway?
Still, all in all it was a comic that made me chuckle and interested to see more artist matches with you. Nice job!

Rhimwill
Artist
97 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 25 2016, 12:01 PM
Swag; your comic is hilarious! I loved Margo's cartoony expressions and acting, and you've got a really good sense of pacing and comedic timing. Others have already pointed out most of the stuff I'd comment on - cleaner speech bubbles, anatomy, more fleshed-out backgrounds – don't be afraid to just search for pictures of cluttered magic shops, or whatever, and use those as reference. I would, however, like to complement you on that tree in the 1st panel, as well as pretty much all the background items on the shelves and walls of the magic shop. I'd like to see that level of whimsy and care put into the buildings and shelves themselves. Also, on the subject of anatomy, Lilla's in the last panel of page 6 is very off, especially because her right hand has the thumb on the wrong side (I've done this before, too. Sometimes I have to double check that my characters' thumbs are in the right place DX ). My advice would be use lots of references for poses and environments, and even warm up by sketching from them before you start penciling new pages.
I think your cell shading on the characters is very nice, and the effects and textures you used – the bubbles in jars, the subtle texture on the shop counter, the purple trail from Margo's broom – were well executed. And, again, loved the story! It literally made me laugh out loud XD

Magistelle
Artist
47 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 25 2016, 06:33 AM
Swag, really nice stuff! Your expressions are very filled with life, which is an A+ in this and helps to enhance the whimsical, fun narrative you've got going on.  Petar covered most of the qualms I have with this, though, but something I feel the need to also mention is the construction of your word bubbles. They feel very hashed and lopsided, and the text constantly touching or overlapping the borders gives it an even cruder appearance. Their placement, however, is very nice and serves to make a good flow, and the overall story is super cute! I adore the last page with all the other kids lined up; really helps to further flesh out this small little world.

petarvee
Artist
83 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 24 2016, 10:59 AM
@Swag Cute! Ya sold the punchline real well and the expressions were goofy enough to work. That being said: Crit time. The only one I'll really point out is a background issue. Ya really nailed it on page 2 with a cluttered shelf, but then, in comparison, the rest of the backgrounds look a bit sparse. Like, definitely look up how stucco, textured wallpaper, and maybe stone walls look. Or at least some sorta little texturey mark-making techniques to make a wall *feel* real rather than just Be There. And as another lil side note, try building characters from the bones up, rather than from shapes. Because it looks a bit like you know the shapes you wanna use for a face/figure/etc, but don't really have a firm grasp on how they're anchored to the body. Building from the inside out oughta dial that down a bunch. But I dug the comic overall!

Radji
Artist
530 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 22 2016, 10:37 AM
Choleric: i am so sad i murdered a puppy. He asked for it

TMWPS: BEST WITCH SCHOOL STORY EVER
 the cuteness of the characters and the over the op situation just won my heart !

Ish
Artist
79 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 22 2016, 06:49 AM
TMWPS: OMFG man this is one of the funniest things I've read in my life! The timing is just absolutely perfect! And the ending... it just goes in escalation and it is great. And you used the colors to give each panel the atmosphere needed...  It's just... amazing work, dude!

Shen
Global Moderator
1280 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 9 2016, 12:32 AM
AAAHHH! when did this happen!! I super hyped!!

Comic Details -

 
Type: Artist Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 28th, 2016
Votes Cast: 24
Page Views: 705
Winner: The Man Who Planted Swag
 

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