Mimi The Mime vs. Baby Barbarian

Mimi The Mime vs. Baby Barbarian

Mimi The Mime vs. Baby Barbarian

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Mimi The Mime62.2%
672 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference


This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Baby Barbarian37.8%
408 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Futreblot
Artist
91 comments
# 19   Posted: Aug 19 2016, 03:04 PM
@Gordin manity rolfunk Thanks for your critique, You're the first person to comment on my panel placement and to be honest I've always been really cocky about my panel placement. even in this comic I didn't question it.

I'm hurting from this battle, emotionally and physically. like I think I actually ended up with a black eye and a broken rib maybe. lol. but I appreciate all the legit critiques I'm getting. I really do.

thank you. I'm working on a beyond battle that's being delayed due to a broken bathroom. you can all expect an append to this story to give my battle with mimi a better finish. consider this To be Continued.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 18   Posted: Aug 17 2016, 09:08 PM
Mrs. Kodswallop: Naturally, very good work on your part. You did a solid job constructing everything. Art, color choices, story, and humor were all on point and you made a terrific comic.

However, page 2 has an issue with character movements I think I need to address since no one else did. You have Babyrian coming out of the ground with the pickaxe in his head. However, we never actually see the swing into Babyrian's head, so the action doesn't necessarily connect.

It makes it look like the sequence was sort of an after-thought, because you don't showcase the motion from Mimi to have her swing the pickaxe into his head. It's not a massive problem, because we can infer from the comic, but it's enough that you may want to be more mindful of it in the future so you don't run into that sort of thing again. Even if ideas change in the comic, make sure you adapt as needed.

Of course, you did amazing work again and everything looks good. Definitely a happy comic and very great work. It was very fun, terrific job.

Mr. Cirdiepirp: Nice to see you back again and sticking around. In terms of your comic, I think everyone sort of hit the nail on the head and you seem very aware of the mistakes you made and what you want to do in the future. As such I'll just leave my critique truncated, but if you'd actually like me to go into more depth and detail, feel free to hit me up.

My main advice deals with the fact that your panel arrangements are kind of all over the place. I think you should attempt more gutter space within your comics, to let the pages breath more. Your last page in particular also has some issues with that upper right black bar that's there for no reason. The thin panel lines aren't really doing you any favors, especially when there's not a ton happening in them, but this can also be attributed to you running out of time perhaps.

Also, having solid white backgrounds as used over and over when you know you can't afford many backgrounds is kind of a boring look. Filling up that space with a grey would have provided a more interesting looking background, even if it's just flat. It's not ideal, but it would have carried more weight for your pages overall.

While this wasn't your best work, I wouldn't really worry about that. You're not the first person this happened to and you won't be the last. You've also produced some nice work in your previous comics and I trust you'll produce even more quality works as you stick around on here. I hope to see you battling very soon, nice job.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1171 comments
# 17   Posted: Aug 15 2016, 12:53 PM
Y'all are sweet ass sweet. Diabetic even with all the comments you've given. Thanks ever so much. :)

CITRONROBOTLORD- From the moment I saw your entry in the beginnings of the invitational, I knew i wanted to battle your baby. The concept of this character is so off the wall and hilarious, I had to get on that STAT. That said, this was a such a fun battle! Your rendition of Mimi is unlike anything I've ever seen. she looks like Pinocchio! I totally got a laugh out of her crooked nose when she bumps into B.B. I'm definitely curious in seeing where Baby Barbarian heads off to next and what his story is gonna be. Now, onto critiques!
I'll be the first to note that the story didn't make much sense. Telling a tale without much to speak of by the way of dialogue is no easy thing (lemme tell ya), so while I appreciate you sticking to your guns and keeping B.B mum, adding in outside elements in order get around that and get some exposition/plot going felt all over the place. I always appreciate someone looking into my characters background and adding in those elements in their comic, but as it stands, baby barbarian is pretty inconsequential in this comic. Even on page 5 when Mimi signs for help, he's not holding onto her, or protecting her, or even angry. Baby stands there, impassively staring off into space. You could've given his role to a stop sign post and it would've made about an equal impact to the story. I really wanted to see more of him as a character and maybe a bit more of his mountainy lore. If anything I'm more interested in Attila when he showed up to save the day and we only get one frame of him talking about things that as a reader I know nothing about.
I know we chatted a bit while we were both working on this battle and I know you had misgivings and second thoughts on your comic. If you need a second pair of eyes, but don't wanna give your opponent the advantage, please feel free to hit up some of your fav artists here on void. Sometimes getting a second look on your work definitely helps in taking a step back and ensuring you're telling the story you want to tell.

Futreblot
Artist
91 comments
# 16   Posted: Aug 14 2016, 04:52 PM
thanks for the comments ishtar

there's a lot wrong with my submission this time and I'm pretty ashamed, but I'll suck it up and do better next time. I'm really not used to these time constraints or the expectations of the format (I'm used to drawing out comics with continuous stories not short installment like these)

It's a really big learning experience and I do really appreciate every bit of critique.

@Kozispoon, you did such a good job with your comic and baby is really spot on (I wouldn't say he's a difficult character to get but still). you did exceptionally all around.

Ish
Artist
79 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 10 2016, 12:37 PM
@Kozispoon: What can I say that is not "utterly amazing"! The paneling is gorgeous, the coloring is great, the perspective is fantastic! And the ending caught me completely off-guard too! Great work!

@citronrobotlord: Nice shot of the city! My issue with this comic would mostly be that ya need to work more on composition of elements inside the panel, otherwise it is a bit confusing!

Futreblot
Artist
91 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 10 2016, 02:15 AM
@st. shen I agree, although he was meant to be baby's arch nemesis not my next character, I decided later to make him my next character, that being said. still shouldn't have done it.

Shen
Artist
1342 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 9 2016, 04:31 PM
Kozi: omg. i love your comics so much i laughed so much. stay perfect, Kozi XD

citron: the mime gang was hilarious but i think you should have focused more on Baby and MiMi rather than using this comic to showcase your next character.

Darius Corry
Artist
428 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 9 2016, 11:59 AM
so great!

Futreblot
Artist
91 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 8 2016, 02:12 PM
Citron - Looks like pete beat me to one of what I was probably gonna say about the empty space.  Well, it seems like the end where they end up running into Atilla was a little too sudden.
Quote

Thanks guys, yeah I'm not proud of my background work near the end, I'm currently studying anatomy with a tutor and I focused a bit more on that which caused me to run out of time and half ass some of the backgrounds. Time management was the bigger issue although I agree my backgrounds do need work.
But thank you for pointing out the problem with attila's introduction at the end. I felt the same way when I finished. I should have left him for another battle.

@Petarvee, I appreciate the critique. I had intended to use the time I had to paint the work completely, thus the watercolor brush for the lines. Again time management, I bit off more than I could chew. I'll be returning to the marker brush next battle. I feel pretty bad that it comes off as a half-measure but I understand what you mean.

Energy
Artist
135 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 8 2016, 09:32 AM
Kozi - Beautiful.  Just beautiful.

Citron - Looks like pete beat me to one of what I was probably gonna say about the empty space.  Well, it seems like the end where they end up running into Atilla was a little too sudden.

petarvee
Artist
83 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 8 2016, 08:34 AM
@Kozi - Perfect. Literally perfect.

@Citronrobotlord Not bad! There's just a lot to be crit: I feel like the biggest issue is how empty most of the panels look. Like its good that ya drew a cityscape and tossed some cars in the backgrounds of a couple shots, but ya absolutely gotta follow that through on the other panels. Otherwise it feels like these characters are interacting in the vaccuum of space and that breaks all the immersion you've been building. The second big crit is line-quality. I understand the appeal of a sketchy line, since it means you don't really have to commit to a single stroke, but that's sort of a killer here. That, mixed with some very air-brushy solid-greys gives the impression that you weren't too sure about how it was gonna turn out, so you gave it a half-measure. tl;dr Draw with more confidence and set each scene like it's a portfolio piece.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1171 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 7 2016, 06:28 PM
One day left and three pages to color. I AIN'T EVEN WORRIED

EDIT- Ugh. UGH. All uploaded. Stayed up crazy late to finish coloring these pages- I am going to regret this in 4 hours when I have to get up for work. THE THINGS I DO FOR COMICS

Futreblot
Artist
91 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 6 2016, 06:30 PM
I'm uploading now. I can't touch these again I know I'll destroy them.

Sean
Approval Committee
372 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 26 2016, 12:17 PM
I approve

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1061 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 25 2016, 11:30 PM
HM!

Pita
Think Tank
232 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 25 2016, 04:05 PM
I'm weeping with joy.  This is gonna be hard to vote on.

Technicolor-yawn
Artist
27 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 25 2016, 04:04 PM
THIS GONNA BE WILD

PyrasTerran
Global Moderator
1458 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 25 2016, 04:03 PM
yesyesyes

Cracking Skulls
Artist
348 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 25 2016, 03:41 PM
-screams-

CAN'T WAIIIT

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 15th, 2016
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 1191
Winner: Kozispoon
 

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