2016 Invitational: Round 3 / Grey vs. Harvey

2016 Invitational: Round 3 / Grey vs. Harvey

2016 Invitational: Round 3 — Grey vs. Harvey

by zee

804 points
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Crit level: No preference

854 points
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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 13   Posted: Aug 3 2016, 12:57 PM
Yeah thanks so much for all of the comments and feedback guys! It's very, very helpful.

And congratulations Astro Sean! Your comic was amazing, you totally deserved this win!
I hope to see more great stuff like this from you in the future.

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
# 12   Posted: Aug 3 2016, 07:36 AM
Thank you everyone who read, voted, and/or commented on this battle. It truly means a lot and I will take into consideration each critique ya'll have supplied me with!

Thank you Zee for having an awesome character and for giving me a hell of a run in the votes. Your comic rules and I can't wait to read more from you! Welcome to Void!

# 11   Posted: Aug 1 2016, 07:04 AM
These are both really awesome!
Zee, I remember that in the chat before, you mentioned that you had misgivings about making your comic goofy, but I think you did it well and you have a good sense of comedic timing! The only thing that bothered me was the little moment on the first page where the characters are simultaneously saying "so much/ so little hair". It took me a minute to figure out who was saying what, so maybe those panels needed some rearranging for better clarity.

Astro Sean: I really like this epic-style story you're spinning! I liked your coloring and use of limited color palettes as well.
There was just one thing I noticed. It has to do with how you wrote Grey's character, so I'm not sure how legit the issue is since we're allowed to do whatever with these characters. I just think that there is a humor in Grey's character that is missing in your comic. The super-serious demeanor didn't feel like him. I think it would have helped if you put more emphasis on the fact that this mysterious agency is forcing Grey to do this, and added some nervousness to his acting.
That being said, again, I really like your story and I can't wait to see what happens next! :D

# 10   Posted: Jul 30 2016, 04:17 AM
@Zee Totally diggin the goofiness of it! And you're hittin all the major art-points, which is great. The only real thing I can point out is some compositional stuff. For conversations, you're not just limited to talking busts! You can totally zoom out a bit to have them both in the same panel, or an aerial or low shot to spice things up. Then there's always closeups on bodyparts too. "Variety is the spice of life" or however the quote goes!

@Astrosean Pretty solid storytelling, man! And its nice to see you improve through a single match. My two crits would have to be some perspective stuff and some detail stuff. Tile floors will always betray any eyeballed perspective, and you've totally let a common thing happen of "The floor is at one perspective while everyone else is at another". Look into some photography or even game screenshots and familiarize yourself with what stuff looks at eye-level before whippin the camera about. And, on another note, watch your detail. I know the temptation of "I've gotta fill this blank space with something, I just gotta." But then it becomes an economy of line issue, where, in an attempt to make everything stand out, everything looks the same. Like, concrete and rough surfaces? Totally mark it up. Skin and organic surfaces? Maybe dial it back a bit.

Community Manager
# 9   Posted: Jul 27 2016, 05:42 PM
zee: This is really fun, it looks great and it made me genuinely laugh! It's only flaw really is that, compared to the last rounds, it's just really simple. That's not necessarily a terrible thing, it's just missing a teensy bit more to be awesome sauce as opposed to awesome

Astro Sean: man oh man this is terrific! The jump from traditional to digital, parallel to the jump from comical to serious, is fucking genius man. Your quality from the work we've seen in the past to now is a damn skyrocket. whatever you're doing each round to get better, it's clearly working. Can't wait to see the next thing from you!

# 8   Posted: Jul 27 2016, 01:06 PM
Wow wow wow!! Astro Sean you did such an incredible job!
This is so wild and RUTHLESS I love it!
This quality is fantastic and the effort you put into it really shows. The layout of comic is great, the pacing is great, the colors are great, it's all great!!
The quick switch to color from black and white was AWESOME and made mood of the lab really pop, in my opinion.
Honestly, truly, this is stellar work and I'm incredibly sorry I couldn't do more this round.

Poor Harvey though ha ha, I really want to buy him that burger. Meanwhile I'm going to put Grey in the corner for a timeout.

Kozispoon - I'm a fan of action with slice of life elements thrown in, hopefully the more I do here on Void the better I will become at balancing it all out! Also yeah, I've got to say Peridot has become a big influence for his character to the point where I probably need to be more careful and conscious about it heh. Thank you for your comments!

      Edited Jul 27 2016,  01:06 PM by zee

Approval Committee
# 7   Posted: Jul 27 2016, 11:57 AM

ZEE- I think we’ve been spoiled throughout this tournament with you bringing your a-game, that its unfortunately noticeable when there’s a dip in quality due to time/life. Happens to the best of us! Still, despite being tapped for ideas as you say, this was still a fun little comic. I am always into Grey’s touristy newcomer ways. I get total Steven Universe’s Peridot vibes with how bothered he is by anything and anyone, haha! I especially love that splash of spacey color in the reaction panel of page 2.
By way of random encounter formulas, I will admit I rather preferred and was more engaged by your other interactions. Maybe I was craving more of the chemistry I saw in the last rounds, or generally craved more overall. This felt like a slice of metaphorical cake I was left wanting more slices of. Still ,that’s gotta be good to be left wanting.

ASTRO SEAN- *Slams fists on the table* This is the kind of content I wanna see! I’m not gonna lie, I thought Zee had this in the bag considering the stellar work they’ve been bringing into this tournament, but I am so blown away by the effort and quality you’ve thrown into this round, I had to do a double take and make sure it was still you. You’ve taken to digital work like a fish to water for someone who I’ve heard is au traditional. This is really super impressive! Not just visually, but the story since round 1 has built into such a monster that is definitely Void caliber worthy. Its caused a ruckus I feel alotta voiders are going to want to get in on as things have been pretty placid. I am just tickled by the old skool void feel of this story. You should be really proud of this effort.

# 6   Posted: Jul 27 2016, 11:57 AM
Im voting quantity over content

# 5   Posted: Jul 27 2016, 08:55 AM
zee: while i truely laughed on that one, i think it lacked some... ORIGINALITY
Astro: That guy has it baaaaaad

# 4   Posted: Jul 26 2016, 11:40 PM
Apologies for how small this one is and how forced it feels, I was short on time and ideas this week.

I can't wait to see your side of this Astro Sean!

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
# 3   Posted: Jul 26 2016, 10:30 PM
Uploaded! I really put my all into this one, I hope ya'll dig it!

# 2   Posted: Jul 20 2016, 12:59 PM
I'm excited to see what direction Harvey's story takes in this round.

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
# 1   Posted: Jul 20 2016, 08:42 AM
Best of luck Zee!

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 2nd, 2016
Votes Cast: 36
Page Views: 934
Winner: Astro Sean

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