2016 Invitational: Round 1 / Marnie vs. Barrows

2016 Invitational: Round 1 / Marnie vs. Barrows

2016 Invitational: Round 1 — Marnie vs. Barrows

775 points
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Crit level: No preference

714 points
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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 11   Posted: Aug 10 2016, 11:44 PM
Oh god that poor guy... Even though I see it's been posted like AZ month ago I am still going to say something about this. Always getting scared by others. I love both of them can't actually decide between the two of them on the excitement but the quality of the art I can somewhat decide but the story is written well by both that it makes it much harder to pick. MaxieWest did great on details  and story. Mannykat8x did well too on the art but a simpler style but in a way still not boring and story is good too. So what to do here? Mannykat8x I will have to pick because both story and art is good and too simple.

# 10   Posted: Jul 5 2016, 06:50 AM
Good luck in the next round Manny!

And thanks so much to everyone else for the critiques you gave they're all super helpful and I'll be sure to keep them in mind for the next comic I make.

# 9   Posted: Jul 4 2016, 06:52 PM
@Mannykat8x - Can't say anything that hasn't been said before, sorry! Except for: Marnie, omg girl, you NEED to get some work done in those entrances bc you'd scare the devil out of anyone!

@MaxieWest - The poor Barrows, baby! Great work with the lineart and the panels! I really wanna see what you do with a bigger deadline cuz you got a lot of potential for shenanigans with this cutie here!

Approval Committee
# 8   Posted: Jul 4 2016, 12:19 PM
MANNYKAT8X- I winced at that opening line on your page one because it brings focus to the actual city itself, which- as it stands- is a couple of rectangles and boxes. If cityscapes and buildings aren't your strength, you can always make void city whatever you want! A big park, an ocean, really anything that can play to your strengths- though perhaps the deadline itself may of been the culprit in your comic looking unfinished. With such a warm gray tone going on throughout, I'm a bit thrown by the slow and gradual fade to black. Nothing really warranting such an ending happened, so it feels kind of anti-climactic.

MAXIEWEST- Haha, now that I'm reading it, it makes total sense Barrows wouldn't really be much for words. No doubt that gets 'em in all kinds of miscommunication shenanigans. I certainly hope this is explored, because it looks to be a potential source for a gag.
Applause for your incorporation of backgrounds and city, though, don't be afraid to draw outside the box. Your brick wall looks so uniform and clean, it could do with some graffiti, or a crooked/missing brick or three. Think about giving backgrounds as much personality as you give your characters. That way everything panel to panel is something people want to look at.

Web Dev
# 7   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 01:05 PM
@Mannykat8x: I'm not sure exactly what to critique on your comic, because you have a really fun style, but the comic feels pretty unfinished. I guess all I can really say is that I definitely want to see more from you, and hopefully you have time to get some more detail in your characters and backgrounds next time!

@MaxieWest: Awww, poor Barrows! You have some really great line quality in your work, and I want to see you push that as much as you can! Work on adding details to your backgrounds and drawing your characters' heads from more angles (there are a TON of direct side-view shots, which makes it feel like that's all you can draw). I want to see more from you and this sweet character!

Good luck to both of you, and I'll see you next round! (Either in the tournament or in a regular match ;D)

# 6   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 06:30 PM
Your expressions are top notch! I love how you exaggerated Barrow's emotions, they look amazing in your style! The world they were in was veeerrry sparse though. Don't be afraid to add just a liiitttlle more detail in your background - some wall texture, cracks, a plant- just something a to help distinguish where exactly the story is taking place.

This was a cute snippet to both Barrows' and Marnie's personalities! Building wise, the hard geometric shapes like you have going on in your first panel I wouldn't mind so much except it would have worked better as a silhouette. A simple fill in with those shapes would have been a bit more aesthetically pleasing methinks! Seeing every single line that makes the form leaves little to the imagination and like Inksword said, it ends up being a bit mechanical. That goes for the walls too. You don't need to lay down every single brick- Just a couple. Our brains will make the connection it's a brick wall.

# 5   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 10:31 AM
I had a nice comment typed up and then I hit vote before I posted it GOSH DARN IT!

The gist of it wasss:
Manny! I like your style, it's super cute and cartoony, but I think the characters ended up a little similar looking in this instance. I'm sure color and clean line-art would help it out but it's something to thing about for future battles!

Maxie, I like your linework, so it's sort of a shame that you use such mechanical tools to do your buildings and bricks as opposed to free-handing it! Even if you don't get completely straight lines it's okay as long as they're not super wonky, it'll give em more life and help them fit into the world.

I think I ended up as a tie between you two on my vote so good work you guys!

# 4   Posted: Jun 29 2016, 08:57 PM
@Q-Bit; Thanks so much for the critique! I can defiantly see what you mean about the bricks I'll defiantly keep it in mind the next time I get the chance to make a comic.

# 3   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 11:24 PM
These are cute! Both of these characters both these characters are easy to root for, so it's hard to pick a side. I do wish there were more... interaction? -between the two, in both of these comics. Either one can really be summed up with 'Marnie spooks Barrows, they part ways'. It's partially just an issue of length, I can tell, and one week is a hard deadline to tell a compelling story in. Still, food for thought.

Mannykat8x: It looks rushed, but, it is rushed, so I can't really complain about that, haha. I'm not sure how I feel about the color splashes. It's not really heavy on contrast, so it doesn't feel very 'daring', and it's not sparsely used enough to make the color splashes feel like focal points. I like the electric effect on Marnie, very dramatic, and you were on to something with that lighting from below. Keep at it!

MaxieWest: You've got a cute style! Some of the figures look a little odd, (see Marnie's legs in the final panel,) but overall the expressiveness is good. That brick pattern stands out like a sore thumb. I'd avoid pre-made effects like that in your comics until you've got a better handle on when and where to use them.

# 2   Posted: Jun 27 2016, 09:26 PM
Managed to get mine up just in time! No color this time unfortunately due to some computer problems. But I'm still pretty satisfied with what I was able to get done in such a short amount of time. It was great to draw Marnie and I wished I could have done more with her. I hope what I've shown of her does justice. c:

# 1   Posted: Jun 24 2016, 05:29 PM
I apologize in advance for how short/rushed mine is, I have a trip coming up and I didn't realize how much it would mess with making my round. I didn't want to lose without putting something in though!

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 4th, 2016
Votes Cast: 45
Page Views: 570
Winner: Mannykat8x

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