2016 Invitational: Round 1 / Dawa vs. Drake Lawson: Speed Demon

2016 Invitational: Round 1 — Dawa vs. Drake Lawson: Speed Demon

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Dawa52.4%
695 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference


This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Drake Lawson: Speed Demon47.6%
632 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment


Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 24   Posted: Jul 5 2016, 08:57 AM
Thanks, Ishtar! I'm down for battle someday :D

Ish
Artist
79 comments
# 23   Posted: Jul 4 2016, 07:04 PM
@Sootfall - This was such a fun read! Cannot say anything that hasn't been said before, but honestly I can't wait to see more of your stuff! (And maybe battle you someday too!)

@OberonGoat - Great character intro, and I love your drawing style too! It looks really cute! Can't wait to see what you do with a longer deadline tho!

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 22   Posted: Jul 2 2016, 01:16 PM
@Flutterbyes: I hadn't thought of starting with a thicker brush but I think that's great advice! I'm definitely gonna try it out when I'm setting up my next comic. Thanks!

Flutterbyes
Artist
299 comments
# 21   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 03:58 PM
Some funny stuff going on in your comic, Sootball! Too bad it wasn't more finished, so I could have gotten the full effect of "... wait, the dog?!" You seem to subscribe to the "Sculpting through squiggles" school of sketching. Have you considered sketching with a thicker brush for your first pass and then going thinner for subsequent passes, either on other layers or on the same layer after knocking the image back with some light erasing? It might bring something new to your work. Everyone has different workflows, though, and I see a lot of digital artists out there who go with thin lines from the start, but, personally, I find it can make things busy and confusing. You can also work on your line weights even in the pencil stage: characters should have thicker lines than the backgrounds, and thicker contours than detail lines, for example.

Oberongoat, you only inked one page, but you nonetheless got an interesting character introduction. Don't be afraid to use "cheats" like line tools or rulers for things that need to be straight or hard, like doors, or to draw them on another layer so you can erase out the parts behind the characters.

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 20   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 01:45 PM
Sounds like a plan, Oberon :D

OberGoat
Artist
50 comments
# 19   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 01:02 PM
Thank you everyone for the kind words and critiques! I'll make sure I manage my time much better for my next battle!

And Sootball, someday in the future we'll have to have a rematch!

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 18   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 10:44 AM
Thanks, Kozi! It's silly but the garbage can gag was supposed to make it look like she hid behind the garbage can last minute when he looked her way, until you realize, oh, its just a garbage can that someone put ears on and she really had just teleported away and reappeared right in front of him.

Thanks so much about the paneling comment, i admit i was a little proud of it when I came up with that rough-edged style. In the past I felt like making panels was quite daunting but for some reason, with this comic i didn't have too much trouble with the placement.

I'm sad I didn't finish it (even though I really tried), because all of my little jokes are lost in the sketches, but if anyone is curious ya'll can message me directly if you want. Here's a little fun fact: Colorado makes very subtle cameos in it :3

Kozispoon
Artist
1211 comments
# 17   Posted: Jul 1 2016, 09:12 AM
SOOTBALL- Wasn't really clear on the goings on considering most of it was still thumbnails/sketches, but what I did see I really enjoyed! Dawa is quite the character- and who knew a bear lady could be funny? I'm happy to see such a concept can be taken in such a humorous route. I think the garbage with ears gag was my fav. Is she able to turn into inanimate objects as well or was she hiding behind it?
Also, totally an aside, but I loved your paneling. The rough organic look to them really adds character to your pages and seems to fit Dawa's whole aesthetic. I certainly hope you keep battling so we can see more!

OBERONGOAT-I loved how you drew Dawa. she totally gave off this young tween vibe that really fits the look of your character and environment You had some really cool concepts in development here for your story, but most of your comic was so sketchy I couldn't quite make sense of it all. Those deadlines are definitely no joke. Better luck next time!

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 16   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 12:24 PM
Yeeessss, thanks for the critiques, guys!!

I agree with all the criticisms and humbly accept and appreciate the nice compliments :D

@MaxieWest and Bobo: thanks, fun and quirky was what I was going for so yay!


Sean
Artist
382 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 11:39 AM
sootball - I had a lot of trouble following your comic since it was mostly just loose sketches. It's kinda hard to give a critique based on that! Keep it up and I'm sure as time goes on you will have a better understanding of time management and what you can pull off in a comic with a week deadline.

OberonGoat - Like I said to Soot, I had a lot of trouble following your comic since it was mostly just pencil sketches. Time management is a great thing you will learn here on Void. I look forward to your next comic and I hope you can show us some more completed pages next time around!

Rose
Web Dev
1180 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 08:18 AM
@Sootball: Ah man, sucks that you couldn't finish this comic. Your art looks really good! I loved the shenanigans in your comic, and I really hope to see more because you've got a fun character and a fun style!

@OberonGoat: Gotta work on that time management so you can finish this stuff! I'm intrigued by this character and what's going on inside his head, so I look forward to seeing more from you. Just make sure you finish next time! :)

Rainbow Ichi
Artist
18 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 07:36 AM
sootball:

-cute funny story :D
- wish it were finished. the bear drawings are amazing!

oberongoat:

-the story gave me the feels :O
-the pacing, the paneling and the drawings feels like they fit! Wish you finished them.

MaxieWest
Artist
34 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 30 2016, 07:10 AM
@Sootball; Your comic was quirky and fun to read though I do admit I got lost several times trying to figure out what was going on because of the sketchy quality.

@OberonGoat; Glad to see that you were able to get something in! One thing I'd really like to see from you is zooming out a bit. Almost all your images are waist up or closer, if you vary up your shot a bit more I think your comics could end up very dynamic.

PyrasTerran
Artist
1512 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 02:16 PM
Sootball: I've got a bit deeper knowledge of your work week than most; this is your second comic ever, made on a digital platform you never attempted before, and you basically had to learn everything about how to comic in a week. Given all that, it's extremely commendable that you were able to submit this much content as you did. Now that you've got more of your basics down with the actual comic process, workflow etc., you can really shine in future battles and you should be able to fill out all your panels. I really love the humor of this comic, overall the narrative feels really fresh and your bear drawings are awesome. I can't critique the art too much cause it's alot of WIP but I did like where it was going.

ObereonGoat: Good on you as well to submit a full story even if just sketches! Artwise you wanna focus on figure variety; both Lawson and Dawa have very similar body types AND face types, and you don't want to fall into the same pattern of having all the characters you draw all look the same with just wig swaps. I would dare to say to try breaking out of the current proportional mold you have with these characters; Lawson is 22, Dawa is centuries old and looks to be in her 20s/ early 30s, but with the style you have they both could be mistaken for being still in high school, or even middle school. I would recommend finding a way to add actual children/teenagers in your next battles so viewers get a better sense of age with your characters. Narrative-wise, you want to try and do more with your interactions with characters, this is mostly a talky with very little else to be visually interesting, and the memory foreshadowing won't matter for a while so it isn't enough to hook the audience yet. You want your character, not your character's memories/origin story, to be the draw for other members to read your comics. The memories/origin story should be icing for later, after we've grown more attached.

I got a good feeling you both will deliver for future battles~

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 07:24 AM
Graet minds alike think!

*probably still asleep*

OberGoat
Artist
50 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 07:22 AM
Great story! I actually also thought of going into her desire for a mate, and you write Lawson so well! Great work Soot! I wish I could have put more time into mine, but there's always next time!

Dumorte
Artist
76 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 07:06 AM
Lovin both!!!

Great job!!

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 06:47 AM
UGGHHHH!!

I HAVE A TYPO!!!

Goodbye cruel world....

(Please ask my ghost any questions you may have about my sadly unfinished comic. The panel that says "sweet release" is supposed to have lady dog's purse mid-air)

Oberon, totally cool!! I also had in mind to delve into his lost memories but I went with absurdity instead. xD

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 28 2016, 12:01 AM
No worries, Oberon!

Just submitted. My first ever comic, done all digitally for the first time as well. Wish I could have finished it completely, but alas. And now, to sweet sweet sleep...

OberGoat
Artist
50 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 27 2016, 06:29 PM
I have 4 pages, and I've uploaded all 4, but only the first one is inked, the others are all still in their sketch phase, so I was able to at least tell a complete (albeit condensed) story.

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 27 2016, 06:03 PM
oh man oberon im really sorry i was looking forward to your comic but i understand. if the one page you have includes both characters feel free to go ahead and upload that, the 3 page min was more of a suggestion, but either way lawson is in now so when you have more time i hope you can still battle us!

OberGoat
Artist
50 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 27 2016, 05:39 PM
It is with great regret that I have to report that I was only able to finish one page. I thought with everything I have going on right now (starts with a "D" and rhymes with "Mivorce") that I would still be able to complete the comic, but sadly I just wasn't able to ever sit down and give a serious effort.

I'm really sorry Sootball, perhaps one day in the future we can battle again and I'll be able to give you a real battle.

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 20 2016, 06:11 PM
Thanks!!! Oh boy~

Animeshen
Artist
1490 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 20 2016, 05:35 PM
AAAA good luck!!!

Comic Details -

 
Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jul 4th, 2016
Votes Cast: 44
Page Views: 1646
Winner: Sootball
 

Add to Playlist -

 
 

Newest Comments -


Newest Characters -

 
KingAugustus ThomasTheakonRod ChirpwoodHuskMizz BonzaiSpidella WidowsMyrmidonGhoulArcher Heart MercuryDuncan Dealbhaoth
 

Open Challenges -


Random Comic -


Most Wanted -

 
RantuBlack SwanNagoreChickenMannUltraDairyuRickter & GusTheakonJaJaWendigoAleyjah & SukriGwen & RegiOleander
 


Latest Topics -

 
All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Today at 05:49 AM
Clown Jam 
Last updated: Radji - Feb 11, 2024, 04:51 AM
INTRODUCE YOURSELF 
Last updated: Maz - Nov 06, 2023, 04:13 PM
FAQ: Questions About Void? Post Yours Here! 
Last updated: Darius Corry - Sep 09, 2023, 03:15 PM
Art Diary of an Eternal Student 
Last updated: BoogidiBzdo - Aug 22, 2023, 09:17 PM
 

Latest Members -


Users online -

 
292 Guests, 0 Users


Most Online Today: 351.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)

 

About Us

We exist to provide an environment for artists to learn and improve their sequential art skills competitively. Our community is designed to give critical feedback and encouragement to our many members the world over, at all skill levels.

Follow Us