2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 2 / Mammon vs. Jiko Shi

2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 2 / Mammon vs. Jiko Shi

2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 2 — Mammon vs. Jiko Shi

787 points
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Crit level: No preference

768 points
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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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Approval Committee
# 14   Posted: Jun 26 2016, 04:12 PM
I found myself struggling to write a critique for this battle match up because both sides were such a good time and had equally awesome art that it made voting all the more difficult.

MAGS- I had SUCH a great time oogling your actions scenes. Your panel layouts are always engaging and dynamic. Not to mention your male anatomy is a thing of envy. Its obvious you're very comfortable with what you draw and there is no hesitation in whether something looks wrong or right. I do realize, like with any tourney you're pressed for time ,but I rather wish your SFX were better rendered than just a scrawl of inks. Maybe it was a stylistic choice, but they really stood out amidst your sea of smooth inks and sharp lines.

MORT- Your style is taking on such a cutesy almost storybook vibe, that it makes the decidedly dark events playing out look all the more insidious. Even the pleasant pastel color palate follows along with shifting to blue when she speaks to Mammon about her Greg woes and then to the vivacity of colors in Wizzies apartment. Definitely a visual treat. Still, Poor Jiko. I do like the fact that throughout her interaction with Greg, you still manage to infuse some dark humor here and there. I think my only complaint is that while I love your work, your page/panel numbers tend to be to the heavy side. It leaves your pages looking crowded and events I FEEL you wanted to showcase or focus on get lost in the shuffle of events you're packing in page to page.
Its rad that a silly thread like the jiko and Greg show seemed to inspire such a rich and intriguing story to use in this tournament. Despite the turnout, I hope to continue it!

# 13   Posted: Jun 20 2016, 10:49 AM
Mags: Sweet Holy Moses! It looks so polished and the colors are beautiful and the shadows and the pallete! Also Mammon and Jiko Shi... do I smell a ship? Anyway, it was really great, the pacing too, when they showed the Red Eye on the TV I also went "oh fuck", you really managed to keep the tension! Great work!

Thren: ...suddenly the Jiko and Greg show got a lot more darker for me. You really did a great work by showing the mood with the colors! Also I was really emotionally involved with the whole thing, I feel so bad for Jiko Shi! I am so afraid! Great work, I loved it!

Man, I dunno which one to pick!

Global Moderator
# 12   Posted: Jun 20 2016, 12:46 AM
oh man i had basically no idea how to vote on these and even less idea how to critique them yall are killing me these are so good!!

mags: lol get rekked steampunk guy XD i love how you do action and heavy shadows, i think its difficult to do both! your expressions are getting really good too, though i agree Jiko is sometimes pretty inconsistent. I wonder if at the end Jiko and Mammon made friends too quickly, since hes usually pretty standoffish, hell both of them are more like to be sarcastic lol (were they flirting? XD) you fuckin got me though with that bit at the end with Greg, what on earth is that thing? whats it power? i want to know!! I love the pacing of that whole scene.

Thren: I agree with pyras i think that it seems odd Greg would be able to beat mammon without transforming but i guess i wouldnt call the fight "finished" so i wont hold it against you lol though i do love that back and forth on page 5 with the colour palletes and these entirely different moods leading to the same situation, i love stuff like that! Cool to see murphys law again, i like how you incorporated them! your colours are gorgeous as always, i do envy that in your art! though the way you draw mammon's eyebrows is kinda weird and distracting to me, they look a bit like they are going to fly off his face lol. the expressions you give Greg though are so great, fucking DANGEROUSLY manic! I'd love to see where Jiko's story goes from here!

Great job to both of you! Good luck, i'll be sad to see either go!

Web Dev
# 11   Posted: Jun 15 2016, 01:25 PM
Mags: MY GOD. I haven't felt a comic so deep in my gut for a long time! Your coloring was spot-on for adding to the emotions in each scene, and your backgrounds were gorgeous! I did notice some oddities in Jiko's design where she didn't quite look the same in certain panels, but other than that everything was just so professional and sharp and beautiful! I honestly can't think of anything else to say other than that was an amazing comic and just keep on doing what you're doing, because you are doing AMAZING!

Thren: Uh oh! Man, you really know how to make me feel afraid. I don't know how you do it, but every character in your comic, including Wizzie with her two and a half lines of dialogue, felt so alive and real. Everyone has history with each other (except maybe Johnny Patch lol), and the drama is so intense... it's like watching a soap opera but without the cliches and other cheesiness. You took a character who was impervious to any kind of permanent damage and somehow managed to make her the most vulnerable character on VOID. I don't know how you do this, but you have mastered something and it hit me HARD. If I had one piece of advice, it would be to take a second look at your speech bubbles and boxes, because I think some of them could use a little bit of design work to look just a little more professional. That said... OH MY GOD. You belong in this tournament so hard!

You guys have killed me. Whoever wins this battle is the winner of this tournament. SERIOUSLY. I am blown away.

# 10   Posted: Jun 14 2016, 10:31 AM
I really enjoyed both entries.

Mags: Great line work, colors and pacing I really like the compositions you used. What Pyras pointed out with the Crash Effects could been done differently and the smoke effect can be cleaned up a bit. the smoked effect coming out of the dudes arm was perfect just keep it  simple like that it would had translated well. I think it just catches your eyes since its so different to the other line work, so  its very noticeable.  Excellent entry

Also excellent entry. Major improvement from your first entry to the tourney. I like how the last few pages connect to the first panel on first page. Excellent backgrounds and compositions. I like how you used colors to transitions from scene to scene its was done awesomely. I like way you depict other characters. I enjoy your designs keep it up. The story is pretty deep I know I haven't mention much about it. I just was not sure what was going on and didn't want to jump the gun. your story hits close to home I know people that have had similar experience. so yeah
I really hope she get away from the werewolf guy jerk I think hes a wolf.

good stuff from both of you.

Community Manager
# 9   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 01:18 PM
yeah boyeeeeeeee

Just getting it out of the way both are rocking stories and it's a shame only one gets to move forward so great job you wonderful writers!

Magistelle: I'm conflicted with page 4 panel 1, on the one hand I appreciate the whole background setup but then again it's so far out that the impact of the guy crashing through is kind of lost, even with the big CRASH text, I don't think making that larger would have helped but I don't know if it's helping enough either. I think this panel could have gone back to the drawing board for more thought into your shot angle. The smoke/crashing effect in Page 5's top panels is a bit too sloppy and it stands out when the rest of the comic is so polished. Page 7 last panel probably could have used some more time to cook too, for a moment I got confused and thought he ran up a wall, but remembered they were in the middle of the diner, the rug and fissure was throwing me off a bit. Fantastic final page!

mortooncian: everything looks so pretty but i'm not sure how I feel about the words always coming off the gutters/panels, they're really noticeable in this comic almost distracting. I think some of the blues in page three for coloring Jiko are a little too similar/dark, it would have been great to add halo from the indoors lightsource coming off jiko and mammon here. Design wise I think Mammon's eyebrow outlines come off a bit thick in some panels, like page 4 panel 3. Storywise, given what we've seen so far its hard for me to buy Howling beating Mammon in a fistfight unaided (especially with Howling not transforming). I think that instead of the light tan that lights the dark forest (i'm assuming from the estate), a more surreal color like a dangerous red would have really helped with the tension, you did really well with red in the last comic and I think color-scripting that red to Howling would have been a really good idea, not just here but down the line should you win or pursue this story further.

Once again fantastic job you two!

      Edited Jun 15 2016,  12:04 PM by PyrasTerran

# 8   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 09:55 AM
luved it

# 7   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 09:54 AM
I don't know how to feel about these, YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEEEEL THIIIINGS.

Mags: you really friggin' stepped it up, you're giving more love to your backgrounds and it's so nice to see.  I feel like you made a lot of good choices with where to place backgrounds and where to leave them out, I wasn't ever really left wanting on that front.  I know you've been trying to improve it and I just want you to know that it is really paying off!  I'm also a big big fan of your colour choices in this round, I wasn't a huge fan of the limited palette in round 1, so this wider variety was a really nice change for me personally.  ALSO Mammon being the tragic hero in this comic, both saving Jiko and potentially fuelling her abuser, holy shit just fuck me up Mags.

THRENN: FIRST OF ALL. It pissed me off so much when greg was just beating up Jiko in front of the rest of Murphys Law, it made me SO MAD. Really well done on bringing out all of that inherent awfulness of Greg.  Your characterisation for me is super spot-on, it's just such a cohesively written fucked up world for Jiko and I feel for her so bad.  Page 5 is obviously my favourite, that duality and crushing phrase at the end.  Free Jiko 2k16

# 6   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 08:44 AM
Fuck both of you I don't even know where to begin on critiquing these DX THEY'RE SO EXTRAORDINARYYYY

# 5   Posted: Jun 12 2016, 11:59 PM
HEY GUYS submitted

I turned this in w 15 minutes to go ; u; -screams softly-

theres some sloppiness, but freelance art job + weekday internship + webcomic rustled my scheduling a bit, so i apologize u/////u;;;;

# 4   Posted: May 30 2016, 08:27 PM
The drama!  The angst!  The colors!

# 3   Posted: May 30 2016, 11:31 AM

# 2   Posted: May 30 2016, 07:20 AM

# 1   Posted: May 30 2016, 06:29 AM

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 20th, 2016
Votes Cast: 32
Page Views: 1303
Winner: Magistelle

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