2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 2 / Black Swan vs. Luna

2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 2 / Black Swan vs. Luna

2016 Heavyweight Tournament: Round 2 — Black Swan vs. Luna

by JCee

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Black Swan100%
541 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8

Crit level: No preference


by Charlie

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Luna0%
0 points
No images have been uploaded.

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Ish
Artist
79 comments
# 15   Posted: Jun 20 2016, 11:12 AM
JayKat: It looked really gorgeous! Have I told you that I love how you anatomy bc I love how you anatomy. The composition was great! Short and sweet indeed!

Charlie: Sorry you couldn't make it for this round! Best of the lucks with your work!

Kozispoon
Artist
1207 comments
# 14   Posted: Jun 19 2016, 11:48 PM
JAYKAT- Your visuals make me want to see a ballet performance. Only you would be able to manage a character as klunky looking as Charlie's and somehow manage to incorporate a sense of grace when emulating Swan's movements. I've got to admit this comic had a very distinct theme of pause from visuals to story which i think you achieved well. The biggest panels that come to mind are Luna reaching up to...well, la luna. Granted, its a bit of a shame that you kind of need to do some mining to your opponents other comics and backstory to figure out what Luna's going on about- in which case, I would've liked to have seen this comic stand strong on its own storytelling merits.

Animeshen
Artist
1416 comments
# 13   Posted: Jun 19 2016, 10:45 PM
jay- i always do appreciate how you fill up your backgrounds, and your gorgeous use of black and white. i think i agree with bobo that you could push the gestures a bit more, the fluidity gets a bit lost in all the polish of your nice clean lines and loses a little flavor which would be workable if it werent for the fact both characters are dancing and thats something you wanna draw nice an loose. but i love the black and white with yellow accent and the little moment of serenity you gave Luna!

Jade★
Council
1083 comments
# 12   Posted: Jun 15 2016, 07:12 PM
JayKat: Man, your work is always so crisp and clean! Your lineart and shading are spot-on and really professional. On the other hand, I've noticed that sometimes your work, both characters and backgrounds, can feel a little too rigid, possibly as a result of trying to keep things really clean and crisp. I recommend practicing gesture drawings and keeping things loose at least as you practice your poses. You can also break up the backgrounds with some trees or other natural objects or other objects that don't fit into straight lines or line up with perspective lines. Other than that, I like how you created a sort of quiet moment in the middle of Luna's otherwise intense life and gave her a moment of peace and freedom. I haven't followed Luna's story, so it didn't have the full effect it otherwise would have, but I still appreciated the overall tone of your comic. Can't wait for the next round!

Charlie: I'm glad your real life stuff is going well! Sucks that you couldn't turn in this round, because your art is masterful. Hope you can quit your day job soon ;)

PONBIKI
Artist
185 comments
# 11   Posted: Jun 14 2016, 09:44 AM
Jaykat: Nice entry the grey tones are very nice. The story is cool and reflective pretty cool take on a fight. Good stuff

Charlie:  U boob hahaha

Charlie
Artist
731 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 03:49 PM
Your comic was amazing jaykat!!! You totally captured the character well! Sorry I had nothing for you this time around, but best of luck in the future rounds!

JCee
Artist
393 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 03:46 PM
@ Pyras - Yeah, the lighting was what had me there. And sure, I'll keep that in mind about the dialogue next time. I just thought it was too silent and worried it wouldn't get the point across. But thanks for the advice!

@ Minteh & Radji - Thanks!


PyrasTerran
Global Moderator
1493 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 01:01 PM
Jaykat: You might wanna check your monitor settings, there seems to be two different blacks going on in the cover, and you want either one or the other: either the black bleeds into Pasca and Luna's outfits, or just be a stark light color to make them pop. You want to practice your lighting, particular outdoors in a city night there are lots more shadows than what's being presented; in page 2 (first page of story), the full background is good but really push the contrast between light and darkness, heavier shadows and brighter lights will help it really give that "hidden being in the night" feel. In future pages outside with Luna, your shadows are below as if the light source is above her, but in a city when you're on top of a building all the light sources come from below, so you needed to reverse the shadow direction. Try this out, and you'll see how it really helps sell the city night effect. Don't be afraid to just let panels go silent. The last two panels in page 3 we don't need her speaking to herself, the art will speak for itself. Same thing with page 6, maybe even page 7, just cut out the words and see how the story feels rather than tells. For the final panel, just a "huh?" will do.

Minteh
Artist
256 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 12:01 PM
Jay that was a super sweet comic, it was a very welcome breath of fresh air I think.  A really great example of comics not needing to be action oriented to really excel, loved it!

Radji
Artist
583 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 13 2016, 09:56 AM
DANCE IS THE POWER
godamnit Gossamer how could you not notice? WAS THIS DANCE SO ENTRANCING ???
HAHA

JCee
Artist
393 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 12 2016, 09:34 PM
Submitted!!

Enjoy the cheesiness ><

JCee
Artist
393 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 3 2016, 08:38 PM
Charlie -- Daww, what a shame. I understand completely, Charlie. Whatever happens, I'll be cool with it.

Charlie
Artist
731 comments
# 3   Posted: Jun 3 2016, 07:52 PM
I don't think I'll be able to pull off what I did last time, for this round. I want to if I can, but I am even more busy with freelance than round 1. I am not sure I will be able to submit. Things can always turn around in 9 days but on top of my dayjob, I am just not sure if I can produce anything. So just a heads up, I may regretfully have to take a default on this. When I originally signed up for the tourney I didn't anticipate being so busy, but the pro work takes priority for me as its important I deliver my best I can on these assignments so eventually it can lead me to quitting my job and all.

Thanks for understanding if I can't submit :(

Evi
Artist
110 comments
# 2   Posted: May 30 2016, 07:20 AM
YOOOOOOOO

JCee
Artist
393 comments
# 1   Posted: May 30 2016, 06:26 AM
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF------let's do this.

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 20th, 2016
Votes Cast: 26
Page Views: 1299
Winner: JCee
 

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