Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 2 / Literally Jupiter vs. 3 Page Max

Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 2 / Literally Jupiter vs. 3 Page Max

Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 2 — Literally Jupiter vs. 3 Page Max

by Kukajoo

792 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference

by Layeyez

858 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
Please register or log in to comment

Jetty Jay
# 14   Posted: Jan 30 2016, 05:30 PM
KUKAJOO: I'm picking on everyone else's fonts and speech bubbles so I will also pick on yours - make sure that your text isn't running into the black edges of your bubbles as they do a bit on page two - tails are also really important to help keep it clear who is speaking (you can also use them to help you direct the reader's eye through the page). The pacing in this comic is really nice though and the punchline is great. I honestly expected this character to take the same route as GPS' tree, so I'm really amused that you've gone this direction. I love it a lot.

LAYEYEZ: So pretty and shiny. It's so shiny that I lose some of the artwork (eg. the breakaway panel on the second page) so it's really worth getting wider gutters on your panels if the artwork's going to be so dense... It'll make it much easier to follow what's going on. The story got a bit lost for me cos it just seemed like some dudes saying 'well this is happening now I guess' and there wasn't much to engage me beyond how pretty the art was. The opening is funny as is the concept of unconscious Max just getting thrown at a planet though! Nice work :)

Global Moderator
# 13   Posted: Jan 30 2016, 03:30 PM
KUKAJOO- And on that day, they were given a grim reminder...
Haha, this gave me such attack on titan feels, I don't even know what XD Your Jupiter is so freakin' random and unexpected, this planet just ends up doing things that throw me for a loop. The fact a planet is in this tournament hasn't stopped being incredibly weird, and I commend you from not shying away from the odd and fantastical.

LAYEYEZ- I gave the previous comments a quick read, and gotta say I find myself agreeing with them. You come at us in round 2 with fantastic effects and colors, but story wise, its much of the same from round 1. That's...fine, but its a surprising yawn in comparison to the SERIOUSLY EXTREME action you got going on in these pages. The juxtaposition leaves me reeling.

# 12   Posted: Jan 29 2016, 03:25 PM
Thanks I really appreciate the comments on here, It's very helpful in finding where I'm going wrong. I think part of the cause of the chaos in these pages comes from my me putting the dialogue last. Idk if people usually write those in first to better plan out how it's read and that. I definately need to keep track of that next time around. Also page three I see the issue where Jupiter can be totally missed, having it blend in with the explosions and where's there's a lot of light in that panel I understand the confusion. (have you, I was stumped on what to write for dialogue here) But I think that can all be remedied if I change up my method next time round.
Again thanks for crits

@kukajo: I'm actually have to give it to ya, your comic was actually pretty funny and a lot more clear. especially the stretching neck bit then the final blow with that punchline, golden. I feel your comic had a more complete sentence, rather than in my comic being a run on anime sentence.

Fred v2.0.1
# 11   Posted: Jan 29 2016, 06:00 AM
Kukajoo I seriously love what you've been doing with Jupiter, it's so ridiculous and a little bit terrifying. I was in awe when it started stretching and surrounding earth, and then just laughing so hard with the 'heard you were talking shit' so good. The art of the school bit is less than perfect, but I seriously couldn't be bothered about it...

Layeyez it's impressive to look at, it's all in the rendering... but other than that it's a mess. it's readable though, in a kind of almost subconscious way, like all the chaos of the page lets its meaning creep in on a different level, and for that I can't really fault the insane presentation because, well, in the end it works.

# 10   Posted: Jan 28 2016, 11:57 PM
Kukajoo - I love the idea of Jupiter being this planet who just starts shit with random people for completely petty reasons. Linework looks kind of rushed, but the imagery of Jupiter stretching to shit on Max is fantastic. I'd love to see more of that experimental-creepy stuff coming from you.

Layeyez - Hnnnnnnnng I'm super weak against art with animator aesthetics and your stuff is. Beautiful. So beautiful. Seriously, keep up the good work!

# 9   Posted: Jan 28 2016, 07:28 PM
@karmacharma i do like junji ito but i cant say im avid about him, i havent heard of hellstar remina before but after looking it up i can see what you mean! thanks for your critique :D

@charlie thanks for your critique! im really happy you like it ^^

# 8   Posted: Jan 28 2016, 06:30 PM
Kukajoo- Do you happen to like Junji Ito comics? That shot of Jupiter looking at the Earth on page 2 gave me some serious Hellstar Remina vibes in the best way. Super creepy, but it still has a funny pay off, heheh. I think it would have helped your comic to have some sort of backgrounds. I assume they're at a school, but I have to assume that from what they're wearing, because there's nothing around them. I can understand why you didn't with the time crunch, but just something to keep in mind for future comics (which I do hope to see more from you!). I also like your linework and the littler anime nerd-trope buddy you gave Maxx!

Layeyez- Those special effects look killer! Maxx and his future selves are really entertaining and it's cool you used Ai as an explanation at the end for Maxx's return to Earth. You could have just left it off and played it as a joke but you gave an actual reason, which is nice. My only problem with your comic is on page three. You read the comics left to right, so I had to read the page twice, because my eye followed the light trails from the top left to the bottom right, making it look like the motion was going the wrong way. I had wondered for a second if you even showed Jupiter before impact, until I went back and read it again. The rest of your flow is nice, so just pay attention to where the reader is going to start reading the page when planning panels like that.

Fred v2.0.1
# 7   Posted: Jan 28 2016, 02:44 PM
I think Jupiter is my favorite now. Super creepy.

# 6   Posted: Jan 28 2016, 01:37 PM
Haha I love both of these, they were both awesome as fuck.

KUKAJOO - I loved this a LOT more than the round 1, when Jupiter extended itself all the to Earth because Max was shit talking is hilarious. The visuals are a lot better in this comic too and while I was hesitant to see where you'd take the Jupiter joke I think that hesitation was unwarranted - this is great!

LAYEYES - You light this flame in my heart with your VOID comics in a way few others have, mostly due to the fact that you and I come from the same school of inspirations and I LOVE IT. The super Gainax/Trigger vibes of your stuff resonate with me hardcore and your special effects make me super jealous (in a good way). Just watch the text man haha, page 2 has a typo of Destory instead of Destroy.

Both of you did amazing :)

Iced Tea
# 5   Posted: Jan 28 2016, 01:02 PM

# 4   Posted: Jan 27 2016, 10:22 AM

# 3   Posted: Jan 25 2016, 12:41 AM

# 2   Posted: Jan 24 2016, 02:20 PM

# 1   Posted: Jan 23 2016, 11:15 PM

Comic Details -

Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 30th, 2016
Votes Cast: 38
Page Views: 875
Winner: Layeyez

Add to Playlist -


Newest Comments -

Hellis icon

Sister Kiteria vs. Colbitzer
@ 11:44 AM Aug 14th

Red icon

Fight me
TL Bot vs. Colbitzer

@ 10:01 AM Aug 14th

Rivana icon

Intro Story
Amelia Fey

@ 6:56 AM Aug 14th

yarnwitch icon

Colbitzer vs. Jessie Valley
@ 6:25 AM Aug 14th

Brobin_Dragon icon

Lucky Lucy vs. Sidae
@ 12:02 AM Aug 14th


Newest Characters -

Amelia FeyHana RahalKurdisInezYoon & YunBobRickter & GusKaihou JushiCecil GagnonTwaletteDan UkiKiller

Open Challenges -

Random Comic -

Latest Topics -

All News, All The Time 
Last updated: Staff Bot - Today at 10:43 AM
Buggy's Bulletin Board 
Last updated: BuggyPumpkin - Aug 13, 2020, 11:13 PM
joseph character incubation 
Last updated: jmiranda - Aug 13, 2020, 08:06 AM
ARMAGEDDON 2020 Hype Art 
Last updated: Rivana - Aug 09, 2020, 02:44 PM
Symon_says' art from beyond time 
Last updated: Symon_says - Aug 02, 2020, 06:31 PM

Latest Members -

Users online -

83 Guests, 3 Users


Most Online Today: 146.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)


Original site Copyright 2002-2017 Kevin Birtcher All characters and content Copyright 2002-2017 their respective owners Theme by SMFTricks - Modified by Brittney Scott & Jordan Bobo
Website Security Test