Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 1 / Atara vs. Smee and Lee

Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 1 / Atara vs. Smee and Lee

Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 1 — Atara vs. Smee and Lee

by Elyan

47.8%
622 points
Page 1

Crit level: No preference

by Radji

52.2%
679 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Bobo
Web Dev
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893 comments
# 17   Posted: Jan 23 2016, 09:46 PM
RADJI WHY YOU GOTTA GO BREAKIN MY HEART LIKE THAT ;-;

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1046 comments
# 16   Posted: Jan 23 2016, 05:10 PM
ELYN- Lovely sequence of events, not to mention a visually appealing mingle of both yours and your opponents features. The boob honk in the last panel was rather unexpected, but I'm not gonna lie, I totally laughed XD

RADJI- Adorable. Who knew complete obliteration could be so cute? The plot device was handled well and made for  good chuckle, not to mention the amount of deadpan expression you were able to manage in Atara's face.

Fearn
Artist
icon
349 comments
# 15   Posted: Jan 23 2016, 03:35 PM
Elyan: it was okay, but kinda felt a bit flat. Like there could have been more going on...

Radji: omg this was too cute. And then them feels at the end... ;_;

Jetty Jay
Artist
icon
151 comments
# 14   Posted: Jan 22 2016, 03:45 PM
ELYAN: You definitely made the right call on making this a single page and the toning and pace work really well - don't doubt yourself so much, this is really awesome work. I think the lettering you've used perhaps matches the tone but isn't the best for legibility - get a bit more thickness on some of the lines just to help it stand out more and get rid of the transparency (however slight) on the backing-box. There's a bit of shakiness with the perspective and construction of the cars on the first panel but HOLY FUCK YOU DREW CARS WHEN YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO - even on longer battles people forget to put cars in the street so really commended for putting them in when on a short time limit. Charlie's advice on using some solid white is great would definitely be what you need to make this pop just a bit more.

RADJI: Love the sad/cute story in this, I gave a sad little giggle at the end there. The pacing with the gag of the chemical was great, if anything some more variation with lines on the characters would have allowed you to push Atara's expression a bit more and give you a bit more oomph on the laugh. I think your composition is fine but the colours/inks need to be tightened with those white artefacts. I think with this pallette you could have done without pure white on Slime Girl and it would have done you more justice - if anything you could have even done softer shading to go with the gradient in your backgrounds and your eye would possibly flow better. I really loved the effect of Atara being dissolved.

Woop woop!

Field Marshal Lionel Forsythe W. Underwood XIII, GBE
Artist
icon
136 comments
# 13   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 09:22 PM
Elyan, dark gritty and sublime and done well. Menacingly wonderful story you gave us, with a noir feel to it. Try to make the characters pop out even more and you got gold. Deliciously well made.

Radji, A promising start to the tournament and a well written ponderous tale. Try cleaning up more and fixing those slight white edges (bucket tool I presume?) and you have it made. Put in more variations to the line instead of pure black outlines (as illustrated in your last panel), as variations help bring the world to life.

All in all, jolly good show from both of you. Well done.

Radji
Artist
icon
523 comments
# 12   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 02:08 PM
[quote
RADJI - Hey nice comic! I thought the story was sweet but the composition of the panels felt lacking to me, almost hard to focus on. I am not sure if its because of the colour choices or the messiness of the inks - I think they could be tighter. I think in general that seems to be the theme for you two - tighten up. But I feel for the 4 day limit you still pulled out a nice comic. The word bubbles too also kind of left a bit to be desired, but still that ending punched me right in the heart haha. Keep up the good work :)[/quote]

the funny thing is, i did some modifications with photoshop with my panels, cause my comics teacher said that the composition was a bit off. ^^seems like it wasn't enough

Charlie
Artist
icon
726 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 01:24 PM
ELYAN - Hey dude!! I know you've been kinda feeling down about this but I really liked your comic. Obviously the dark, heavy black and white look SUPER appeals to me. I think the big thing is as stated, you need some more contrast in there. Don't be afraid to make things pure white too - the grey is fine but the extra bit of white would have helped the comic pop. The fact that you did your story textless was awesome - you almost don't even need the cause of death blurb on there since I thought it was clear. I think maybe in the future try using a sharper brush so things don't feel soft and without depth, you can always blend pieces that are too harsh after the fact. Either way great work, I really loved it.

RADJI - Hey nice comic! I thought the story was sweet but the composition of the panels felt lacking to me, almost hard to focus on. I am not sure if its because of the colour choices or the messiness of the inks - I think they could be tighter. I think in general that seems to be the theme for you two - tighten up. But I feel for the 4 day limit you still pulled out a nice comic. The word bubbles too also kind of left a bit to be desired, but still that ending punched me right in the heart haha. Keep up the good work :)

otakutaylor
Artist
icon
179 comments
# 10   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 01:04 PM
Light Speed Critique: Elyan, needs a big more contrast to make things seperate from each other. and might make the mixing stand out. Also, this comic doesn't really need any of the setup or conclusion text I think. Radji, Awwwwwwwwwwwww. The line width change on the last panel caught me, but otherwise just plain funny.

Radji
Artist
icon
523 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 11:00 AM
Astro Sean: Dammit Radji got me all choked up at the end!
Quote
Aw man i'm sorry, there, take a cookie * give a cookie to Astro sean*

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
icon
317 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 10:54 AM
Dammit Radji got me all choked up at the end!

Radji
Artist
icon
523 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 07:20 AM
Elyan: Radji as le Fred said. Ridiculous cute! I love it and thanks for killing her so charming.
I really like your entry and its even better than i expected.

I honestly wish i could have given you a better show but this is honestly the best i could have done right now. I hope its likeable.

Im aware of some major points i can improove in the future but i would be very happy about any feedback nontheless.
Im just happy i could show you guys something.
Quote

To be honest Elyan, Atara was a tough challenge, cause how do you kill a shadow? So i used the cartoon rule: stupid solution everywhere!
And seriously mon ami, your comic is not bad ya know, the idea of assimilation was a good way to deal with a slime, so good job to you too ^^

Elyan
Artist
icon
75 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 06:53 AM
Radji as le Fred said. Ridiculous cute! I love it and thanks for killing her so charming.
I really like your entry and its even better than i expected.

I honestly wish i could have given you a better show but this is honestly the best i could have done right now. I hope its likeable.

Im aware of some major points i can improove in the future but i would be very happy about any feedback nontheless.
Im just happy i could show you guys something.


      Edited Jan 21 2016,  06:54 AM by Elyan

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
icon
475 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 06:30 AM
Elyan - Very simple but you know, works well enough. Art is nice and all. Not much to it, but nice.

Radji - That was ridiculously cute. Loved every bit of it.

Radji
Artist
icon
523 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 21 2016, 02:16 AM
I had the idea for my comic after watching some old Dexter's labotary ^^There's ALWAYS conveniently placed items everywhere !

Elyan
Artist
icon
75 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 20 2016, 03:51 PM
i had problems with uploading the file. sent it to Bobo so i hope all is fine. Its one big file... feels better this way.

Radji
Artist
icon
523 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 17 2016, 05:40 AM
^^your character is a pain to kill but hey! that's the fun bro... or sis.... ya know. ^^
Good luck pal see you in three days.... of DOOM !!!

Elyan
Artist
icon
75 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 17 2016, 03:12 AM
Yay cool i got the cute goo :) this will be fun :) looking forward to getting crushed :D

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jan 23rd, 2016
Votes Cast: 33
Page Views: 711
Winner: Radji
 

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