Jong -
I'm basically incapable of judging your art dude, because I' think your super good. Like holy amazing ahhhHHHHHH good. I do think that when you use your paint you need to be super careful of your line work, or go over afterwards to keep it clear. Crisp linework helps keep the expressions clear and so the comic feels funnier as a result.
I also wish you hadn't mixed black into your yellow, because I think that makes basically the grossest colour ever. Beyond that, it was a really interesting palette, and I really like the interplay between the different tools and textures. Sooo coooooool. I wish you had finished dude, because every comic from you is such a treat.
It was pretty cool to see your pencils though! I've never seen your drawings before.
Neens -
Ah, it's so cool you turned this into a comic! Also, just placing Ethanol in a new job and writing such a great character interaction piece like this totally reminds me of reading jho's old comics.
I actually complete forgot who Ronin was, but the joke totally works without knowing him. He's just some poor dude who exists to get his ass beat in this comic.
I agree with Justin that the "Not getting paid enough" to the next panel is super fast. Also, maybe it's a nitpick, but the main entrance changes from double doors to a single door at the end. I actually noticed it because that door style looks so personal and homey when it's just a single door.
It does like rushed at times, but your when you're on you're so on. You have such incredible line quality and character action, and you mesh your writing with it so naturally. Like, the shift from "Whoa whoa whoa" to "Ronin Lives here !?" cracked me up, and that joke could've easily fallen flat if the characters body language hadn't sold it so well.
Queen of VOID 2015: Round 1 / Adamantine vs. Ethanol Jones
Critiques & Comments
# 22
Posted:
Mar 16 2015, 01:57 PM
# 21
Posted:
Mar 14 2015, 09:22 AM
soooo critwise I have nothing to add other than anything what's been said already. I am frantically refreshing the page and checking the votes balance hahaha
# 20
Posted:
Mar 14 2015, 12:02 AM
jongalong: You were way too ambitious with this, and ended up taking a big hit because of it. The first page was really nice, but, minus a few scattered panels, the rest was kind of a mess and hard to follow. It would have benefitted you more to at least spread the more defined parts out -- that would help carry the comic along a little better. Your faces, and sometimes figures, are kind of inconsistent in this. Sometimes they look great, sometimes they are contorted. Page 4 is a good example of that. I enjoy the color pallet you were using for the most part. Maybe a green or orange would have been better than blue? It's still good, though.
neeners: I really loved the line work. I am close to saying it's superb, but I think some sloppiness in parts hurt the lines a little. For one, there's a few parts, where you lose a sense of where the characters are because of the lack of BGs. The last 3 pages are the biggest examples of this. There's almost no sense of where they are, minus the one panel of Ronin's apartment and the very last panel. Pages 2-4 each have a panel that could benefit from more environment. Another area where I think could have used more love -- the apartments sign in the first panel. It looks out of place. One last note, some parts of the story move too fast, which is a little jarring. For example, the last page, Ethanol turns around, and then in the next panel she's in the lobby again. I didn't mention page 6. I think that page is fantastic.
neeners: I really loved the line work. I am close to saying it's superb, but I think some sloppiness in parts hurt the lines a little. For one, there's a few parts, where you lose a sense of where the characters are because of the lack of BGs. The last 3 pages are the biggest examples of this. There's almost no sense of where they are, minus the one panel of Ronin's apartment and the very last panel. Pages 2-4 each have a panel that could benefit from more environment. Another area where I think could have used more love -- the apartments sign in the first panel. It looks out of place. One last note, some parts of the story move too fast, which is a little jarring. For example, the last page, Ethanol turns around, and then in the next panel she's in the lobby again. I didn't mention page 6. I think that page is fantastic.
# 19
Posted:
Mar 12 2015, 10:03 PM
OH YEAH NOW I REMEMBER THIS GUY
hehe ol' ronin~
hehe ol' ronin~
# 18
Posted:
Mar 12 2015, 06:12 PM
Will leave a critique later.. but I don't get what's so hard to understand about Ronin. Even if he was some made up character never on Void, it still makes sense. He's just some dude that Ada wants to pound the shit out of.
# 17
Posted:
Mar 12 2015, 01:45 PM
For dudes who don't remember Ethanol and Ronin comics:
I am a Bad Star: http://entervoid.com/view.php?id=2297&side=1&iid=1
He's also at the end of Goodnight Captain Pugwash: http://entervoid.com/view.php?id=4509&side=1&iid=1
I am a Bad Star: http://entervoid.com/view.php?id=2297&side=1&iid=1
He's also at the end of Goodnight Captain Pugwash: http://entervoid.com/view.php?id=4509&side=1&iid=1
# 16
Posted:
Mar 12 2015, 12:29 PM
Jong the art is really pretty! -where its done ^^; although on the last page the black and white on brown paper looks very pretty anyhow. I like all the plays on your MoD opponents as opponents this round too, haha, and I hope her crush on Mize is canon! its just too bad about all the sketchy unfinished pages but stuff happens, I understand. if you go on to win, I hope next round is easier!
neens, your story was so simple and cute! I like how while she was gone for five minutes TLBot threw a cat party lol. like the others I think I missed something for the Ronin gag, I guess I better brush up on my Ethanol Jones history ^^; the art is nice and clean with good lines all the way through, this is a good comic and I like it a lot!
neens, your story was so simple and cute! I like how while she was gone for five minutes TLBot threw a cat party lol. like the others I think I missed something for the Ronin gag, I guess I better brush up on my Ethanol Jones history ^^; the art is nice and clean with good lines all the way through, this is a good comic and I like it a lot!
# 15
Posted:
Mar 12 2015, 09:59 AM
there is an Ethanol Jones BB featuring Ronin!
# 14
Posted:
Mar 11 2015, 11:12 PM
Good job you two! I think everything has been said already that needs to be. Jong, would have loved to have seen finished pages, however at least what was there was able to be followed and had the lettering, so we still got a complete story. I enjoyed the references and cameos, as well as the sort of Spider-Man reference. Nina, I liked yours too. Art looked nice, however I did not understand the final joke... I too probably missed something in previous comics. I still enjoyed it overall though. This one was pretty close for me. I also liked that both seemed to have more of a team-up/ interaction feel to them rather than just flat out fighting the opponent. I thought that was cool.
# 13
Posted:
Mar 11 2015, 07:33 AM
This was a really tough one to vote on. Jong, your art is super amazing and you would have totally crushed it IF you had finished. You were too ambitious, but the parts that are more complete are so lovely. The story was entertaining and I wanted more! On the other hand, Nina, yours had a more complete look, but I know you needed more time to work on this. The story was unexpected and creative, and the art is adorable.
Whoever makes it through better do less pages next round! You are both super talented but you both needed more time :'D I loved both of these tremendously.
Whoever makes it through better do less pages next round! You are both super talented but you both needed more time :'D I loved both of these tremendously.
# 12
Posted:
Mar 11 2015, 04:50 AM
holy shit TL bot is the best :u
# 11
Posted:
Mar 10 2015, 04:55 PM
daaaang
jong: I really like where the story is headed and what completed art is there is awesome, but dang seeing all these unfinished pages makes me sad
neens: the art here is great and solid and complete but I didn't dig the story; I think I am missing some context for the Ronin gag, and I don't like that the story just sort of ends.
keep it up guys~
jong: I really like where the story is headed and what completed art is there is awesome, but dang seeing all these unfinished pages makes me sad
neens: the art here is great and solid and complete but I didn't dig the story; I think I am missing some context for the Ronin gag, and I don't like that the story just sort of ends.
keep it up guys~
# 10
Posted:
Mar 9 2015, 11:38 PM
# 9
Posted:
Mar 9 2015, 11:01 PM
writing up the dialogue now. Time wasn't a friend this round.
# 8
Posted:
Mar 9 2015, 06:20 PM
uploaded! didn't have quite as much time as I would have liked, but I'm happy I got something in.
# 7
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 03:58 PM
gooood luck dudes, cheering for both of you (which I know is impossible for both to move on but shh)
# 6
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 01:11 PM
I Came.... to see the wonderful comics in 2wks !! ; )
# 5
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 12:41 PM
oh no that is a hell of a match off!
# 4
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 11:28 AM
NO! NO!!!! THIS IS NOT FAIR! WHY DOES ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTICIPANTS HAVE TO LOSE THIS ROUND? whyyyy ;-;
# 3
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 11:16 AM
I am so hype for this.
# 2
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 10:23 AM
Good luck, babes.
# 1
Posted:
Feb 23 2015, 09:58 AM
lol
Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Mar 16th, 2015
Votes Cast:
34
Page Views:
2487
Winner:
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Artist
JONG: this had a lot of good stuff going on both in experimentation and in the sense of a dynamic and well told story....BUT you obviously tried to do more than you were capable of with the time you had available to....its obviously unfinshed and rushed in places...I want you to continue the ambitious exploration on a project that you can commit the necessary level of time to
NEENS: this is certainly a much more complete comic..... albeit a comic of a completely different style both artistically and manner and I am sure that it created a lot of difficulty for different veiwers/voters who might be otherwise hard tasked to judge on individual merits as opposed to personal tastes.
This is a simple, straightforward, clean and successful telling of a basic story even if you are not a fan of this particular type of humor
My major criticisms would be the inconsistency of the chunky lines for everything except E.J. and the hit or miss manner that the blacks and hatchings and scratchings are applied.