Thanks for the input guys!
I will review the early narration, it does not match the pictures when it should be along the lines of "a disabling shot caused an explosion" as it was an attack.
Font size: I may enlarge the pages a bit to counter that, I do like smaller sizes as it prevents larger blocks of text from dominating. Maybe it can be helped with composition? Shall investigate.
I under-appreciate lettering, there is an art to it and I am woefully amateurish at it right now. Shall have to do some more research and practice.
In future installments I want to go cleaner with the colours. I think the way Giannis Milonogiannis' inks are coloured in Prophet would be a good way to go.
Onwards and upwards!
Ascent - Part 0 / Edge
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Nov 13 2014, 09:03 AM
# 5
Posted:
Nov 10 2014, 07:30 AM
first thing.. the font coud have been a bit bigger. i had to get me screen closer to read it sadly
i liked the story and the writing was enjoyable for what it had to tell. i think you could have made an better decicion on the first few panels colour choices maybe... could be me getting wrong what is been told but the red beams look like there is a fight going on and i dont see there being an escape scene.
anyway very enjoyable piece, looking forward to more
i liked the story and the writing was enjoyable for what it had to tell. i think you could have made an better decicion on the first few panels colour choices maybe... could be me getting wrong what is been told but the red beams look like there is a fight going on and i dont see there being an escape scene.
anyway very enjoyable piece, looking forward to more
# 4
Posted:
Nov 9 2014, 02:05 AM
everyone lovin shirtless edgeeee
# 3
Posted:
Nov 8 2014, 07:19 PM
Ah this came up great!
Your colouring's fine for the most part, but I think it gets some muddiness because you don't quite commit to a colour and rely on blending (I do it too sometimes D: ) I think you could get something really nice and bold to go with your lineart if you went for less glow effects and a few more blocks of solid colour in places to build some contrast.
Speaking of contrasts, there's some issues with how you back the text - the black on white works for the main 'Ascent' header but is a bit painful on the subheader, it might do better with just the white and no drop 'shadow'. The scribbled yellow behind the computer warnings gets a good feeling across, but again the opacity and the way it doesn't quite fill behind the text makes it difficult to read.
I know I said to you that I'd still cull as much narration as I could - but I think it works well anyway and I like how it moves the story along as a 'captain's log' kind of thing. The set up's great and I'm looking forward to how it goes
Also - shirtless Edge. Can't complain.
Your colouring's fine for the most part, but I think it gets some muddiness because you don't quite commit to a colour and rely on blending (I do it too sometimes D: ) I think you could get something really nice and bold to go with your lineart if you went for less glow effects and a few more blocks of solid colour in places to build some contrast.
Speaking of contrasts, there's some issues with how you back the text - the black on white works for the main 'Ascent' header but is a bit painful on the subheader, it might do better with just the white and no drop 'shadow'. The scribbled yellow behind the computer warnings gets a good feeling across, but again the opacity and the way it doesn't quite fill behind the text makes it difficult to read.
I know I said to you that I'd still cull as much narration as I could - but I think it works well anyway and I like how it moves the story along as a 'captain's log' kind of thing. The set up's great and I'm looking forward to how it goes
Also - shirtless Edge. Can't complain.
# 2
Posted:
Nov 7 2014, 09:30 PM
yay more edge
# 1
Posted:
Nov 7 2014, 08:05 PM
The intro to an experiment, trying to tell a single story over 3 chapters with battles.
Part 1 will be Elle with Take My Breath Away.
Not fond of this colouring.
Part 1 will be Elle with Take My Breath Away.
Not fond of this colouring.
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Nov 15th, 2014
Votes Cast:
9
Page Views:
1053
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