Hellapalooza TwennyFourteen / Clamuel Matsumoto vs. Eli

Hellapalooza TwennyFourteen / Clamuel Matsumoto vs. Eli

Hellapalooza TwennyFourteen — Clamuel Matsumoto vs. Eli

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Clamuel Matsumoto51%
284 points
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Crit level: No preference


This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Eli49%
273 points
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Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 15   Posted: Nov 6 2014, 11:15 PM
Thanks for the feedback, everyone! Big ups especially to neens and puzzle for the background/lighting tips--I somehow managed to skate through years of doing comics and painting without doing lighting (well, ok, except when it came to illustration). I'm going to have to get in the lab on this and figure it out!

I'm hoping to work on finding that nice medium between style and action. Rofl once pointed this out, but I have a tendency to hold back and not go completely nuts on exaggeration. I've gotta work on that for sure.

Also, I'm glad y'all like the dialog of the comic, even if you were split on the story! I sometimes worry that I write people too cheesy.

Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 14   Posted: Nov 6 2014, 01:49 PM
Tofu             -

               HOT SAUSS HOT WANGS!

               Instead of using your gray tones to keep spacial planes separate, it'd be nice to see it used to describe some moody lighting. I can totes see theis comic taking place like super early morning, with dim light and long shadows. I think bringing in something soft and delicate like light and shadow would contrast really nicely with your hard lines and characters.

              I think you should also work on making your line art even more confident and devil-may-care. You have such a focus on angles and hard shapes that I think you should totally push into that. Don't be too worried about distorting your figures, I think you're style will lend itself well to stuff like that, as long as you get the feeling of confidence and life in there.

             I'm actually kinda the opposite of everyone in that I was super into the opening of the story, and less into the Dropkick stuff. Don't get me wrong, she's probably my fave void character, but I reeeeaaallly liked the idea of Eli and Matsumoto, the adventures of two kinda-drunk loveable dirtbags as they stumble around hell. And your dialogue was so good oh my god. Everything about the drive-through felt great, and even though I wasn't into where the story went with Tiffany, all her dialogue was p much gold.

GPS              -

            YO I'M REALLY UPSET YOU DIDN'T FINISH THIS! That first page was promising so much with backgrounds, and I LOVE the stuff you're doing with the broken glass and mixing it with the gutters and picture plane. It feels like you so rarely finish something and just polish the heck out of it dude, which sucks because I think you consistently push yourself to try new thing everytime you work on a comic. I think you're mostly successful whenever you try new stuff too! I just wish it was coupled with the quality I know you're totes capable of.

          I think the worst habit you have is just adding too many lines to things. I agree with Neens using that pen for shadows looks really rough, it makes it difficult to parse the difference between shadows and lines denoting form/structure. You also get spots like Clamuel's hand on the top of page 2, which isn't as clear as it should be due to extraneous details with heavy line art. While I like how you use line work to show texture, I think you should step back from hatching and stuff and see how you do without it, and use a thinner pen for textural marks. Either that or just find a way to downplay your hatching a little so that it integrates into your structures without taking over.

neens
Approval Committee
263 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 6 2014, 11:08 AM
tofu I liked yours! I wanted to see what happens next D: I did get a little confused with layouts, it took a couple read overs but I got back on track. looks like time wasn't on your side but I wish there was a bit more care put into your hand-lettering and bgs!

gps it's hard to say much about it since it's so incomplete. your toning looks pretty rough, which might just be a result of time constraints but consider another method next time! using the same pen and line widths for toning makes it hard to read.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1171 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 5 2014, 05:10 PM
TOFU- Maybe its just the way the comic was going, but I kind of found myself more interested in Tiffany's storyline reveal more than Clamuel. New owner of hell? how did that happen? What's she gonna do? Wow, that's big! Instead, we're lured down along the drunken dialogue of these guys, which when you're really honest about it doesn't hold a candle to something like a takeover of hell.

GEEPS- Dem panels @_@ I am dazzled. I especially liked the broken glass effect as Eli is tossed around by Clamuel. You have some really great sharp pages here, which is why I was so thrown when it just stops! Where's the rest of it??

Energy
Artist
135 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 3 2014, 10:32 PM
Tofu - I had little idea what was going on in your comic.  Except that Dropkick's the new owner of Hell.

Geeps - Liked the fight you got here.  I would've liked to see more of it, though.

Shen
Artist
1342 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 1 2014, 08:12 PM
oh boy these both seem only kinda half done lol. tofu, I like how you write dialogue! I was getting into the story- that seems to continue from Lilyfeather In Hell? XD- but then it seemed to trail off at the last page which is too bad. I enjoy that you made them friends while Geeps made them enemies lol always fun when that happens. I hope maybe we get some more Tifanny Dropkick comics eventually to continue where this left off!
Geeps, I'm into what you are doing with the panel borders, very creative! the art looks great, very nice lines and i like Eli's monster hand! I can.... kind of follow it but its tough without dialogue and then it stops just as the fight is getting good. So thats a bummer but great art! glad to see you coming around and fighting sometimes! Good show, guys!

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 31 2014, 02:54 AM
Got what I managed uploaded. It was fun, and its been a while since I've been able to put this much work into something, even if actual work sorta got in the way. No dialogue cause photoshop was being a tool

Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 30 2014, 10:14 PM
Oh no, geeps! D :

I'll be making deadline with what I have, although I'll be going back and polishing it+posting it on my tumblr later. Lordy, I bit off a bit more than I could chew. Hopefully my submission managed to make it through!

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 30 2014, 10:04 PM
Computer issues, it'll be a couple hours after deadline maybe, but it'll be up tonight

Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 20 2014, 02:11 AM
Both of us are workaday everyday people, so I'm OK with this! Lessrockitout.

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 20 2014, 01:43 AM
Using an extension. Got a job, need more time, yada yada

Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 10 2014, 08:53 AM
SDT NEVER STOPS. MURDER NEVER STOPS.

Shen
Artist
1342 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 9 2014, 11:13 PM
BE STILL MY HEART

Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 9 2014, 10:57 PM
WE DOING THIS. 2011 RISES AGAIN FROM WHENCE IT CAME

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 9 2014, 10:55 PM
3 years motherfuckers. SDT 2011 represent

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 6th, 2014
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 1052
Winner: Tofubeast
 

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