Itami vs. Gangsta Geeta

Itami vs. Gangsta Geeta

Itami vs. Gangsta Geeta

by Rikun

100%
214 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference


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0 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Adam@!
Artist
84 comments
# 20   Posted: Oct 25 2014, 12:14 AM
Rikun: I dig what you got going on here. I wish it all was like page 1. the simple tonal work there and the attention to the BG in the estb. shot really ties the page together. Some of that visual direction in the other pages would have been bad ass. :) but I do like the direction it is heading.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1084 comments
# 19   Posted: Oct 24 2014, 06:51 PM
RIKUN- I had to give your comics archive a look-see to make sure, but seems your comic work and pages always seem to be a bit unfinished? That's not to say this battle isn't an improvement quality wise. Your action scenes are engaging and I especially dig seeing you experimenting with varying angles. I just wish the story and overall look of the comic was cranked up to 50.

Chimaeric
Artist
248 comments
# 18   Posted: Oct 23 2014, 09:30 PM
@Rikun: A lot can be said about what you still need to do for this comic, but I'll just break down on the things you did do. You have the right idea on how to go about composing a proper action sequence- in how you're using mirroring compositions (ex. page 5 panels 1,2), how you lead the eyes with diagonal composition in your action lines.

@Merlin: Gross.

Red
Council
639 comments
# 17   Posted: Oct 23 2014, 03:55 PM
Due to overwhelming evidence of plagiarism has been presented to us, Merlinsbeard's comic will now be a default. We have proof that at least the vast majority of his comic has been traced from popular works. We believe that this is unfair to his competition, and removing the comic from voting is the only fair option. We are all disappointed, but we need to keep competition fair.

Please continue to critique Rikun's battle, and PM me if you have any questions.

Bobo
Web Dev
928 comments
# 16   Posted: Oct 22 2014, 02:26 PM
All I want to add is that "I'll take the small one! You take the big one!" coming from Itami was just hilarious. I really like the way you portrayed her in your comic. I'd like to get a better idea of who Gangsta Geeta is, though. She seems well-adjusted for the most part considering some of the gruesome and angry murders she's committed so far. I don't know if that's just because of her past, or if that's something you need to think about a little more when writing future battles.

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 15   Posted: Oct 22 2014, 02:18 PM
The battle comments are not the place for this conversation. Please keep this to PM or the other designated areas.

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 14   Posted: Oct 22 2014, 01:33 PM
'we' are not doing anything and 'i' am not jumping to conclusions...'i' am making a judgement based on using the available materials, personal abilities and my experience.....'you' are trying to insult/discredit me for your own personal reasons and also ignorantly whitewash over what you yourself admit is a distinct possibility....somthing that is quite a bit more serious than a 'no-no'..and the fact that you don't have the knowledge or the wherewithal to see it completely yourself is your shortcoming not mine....and only further displays your own lack of personal morals or ethics as you have already done

I'm not glad to see any of it...including your bullshit advice to Rikun to only listen to you or people singing the same tune as you

Cracking Skulls
Artist
344 comments
# 13   Posted: Oct 22 2014, 01:19 PM

Merlinsbeard- this does kind of look like you were either tracing, or just making figures off of reference with one go of a line stroke. Comparing this comic to your intro pages, it does seem off, so either option is possible to me. In which case thats a big no no, and its best to study those poses and learn why they work/dont work rather than draw it and hope it works. Storywise I was pretty okay with it, definitely a better direction for itami to get involved in a situation and stuff.

Rikun- first things first. Unfinished. Im making sure the others are not going to stay in contact with you in the comments section. Frankly I dont need to as your trials still going, but I'm commenting as a window of what they may say to you if they wanted to.
This is once again the same formula you used for almost every battle you've done. We predicted what formula you used and most of them came true. Club fight, new npc that is probably never used again, kindergarten stars, these are old habits that I understand die hard, but months of guidance would have had you think otherwise. So story and art is somewhat average. I'm not gonna write something tl;dr right now so ill leave it at that.

Wei Ingnan
Artist
597 comments
# 12   Posted: Oct 22 2014, 01:02 PM
neens: hey rikun, definitely work on finishing something. I looked back and didn't see a "complete" looking comic from you since 2006, and even that was dubious.
.
Quote
this is not a new statement in reference to your work Rikun and I  have to replace finish 'somthing' with finish 'anything'

merlinsbeard: which comic did you trace over to make this travesty?...because this is obviously what you have done and it is in no way representitive of your previous pages or the work on your deviantart page. nor is art theft or misrepresentation somthing we tolerate  or allow here

luniara
Artist
528 comments
# 11   Posted: Oct 22 2014, 12:16 PM
Rikun - An improvement from the last comic I had seen from you. You've come so far and it's an honor to have been able to see your progression over the years. Your fight scenes have always been stellar and full of movement. It's a shame you couldn't finish.

MerlinsBeard - is it just me or does your style change constantly throughout the comic? There is no consistency what-so-ever in your pages. I would add depth to your lines. A lot of your figures are lost in the background and with the characters standing next to them.

Shen
Global Moderator
1303 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 21 2014, 01:19 PM
rikun: definitely an improvement from past battles that ended with rough sketches, but I feel like its missing a conclusion page so it feels really unfinished. the fight cant just abruptly stop! your choreography is always cool, I like your fight scenes, theres just no real payoff. the art kinda seems to peter out after a while- I'd like to see a consistency where all the pages are as rendered as the first one. I like the composition and poses on page 4 but the speedlines look a bit like puppet strings coming from Itami's hands ^^; anyhow, good to see you back in action, keep battling so you can keep getting better!
merinsbeard- like pyras was sayin I feel like your leaning a bit hard on whatever reference you are using so its ringing a little hollow- like its definitely GOOD art but theres  a weird emptiness to it I cant explain, but your last couple battles felt more natural. Maybe thats part because your lines are all kind of the same and have to real variation? I cant put my finger on it. In any case you got a good solid story from start to finish here and it was a pleasure to read!

neens
Approval Committee
259 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 21 2014, 09:08 AM
hey rikun, definitely work on finishing something. I looked back and didn't see a "complete" looking comic from you since 2006, and even that was dubious.

merlinsbeard, pretty good! I don't like the lines, they're very inconsistant. the semi transparent grey lines have an unfinished feel to them. sometimes bg characters have lines darker than foreground characters.  the colors aren't bad, though the brown gradient bgs get a little tiresome. you have a lot of strange poses, like maybe you're referencing them from other things but they aren't quite fitting into place in this comic.

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 21 2014, 07:23 AM
Rikun, cool choreography, it's a shame you couldn't finish though. Next time!

Merlinbeard, well this is definitely a stylistic change and clearly you're using references for the poses, anatomy, even style.. I think I even recognize some of these poses. The problem now though is that your art style jumps around as you're taking from different books. Rather than map them out line for line you would have probably benefited more from converting the poses into your own style(unless a more realistic direction is where you want to go, either way still need to do better unifying the poses of each panel).

Hope you take this in for the next one

merlinsbeard
Artist
17 comments
# 7   Posted: Oct 19 2014, 05:44 AM
Oh man, Rikun. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to get Geeta on the same pages as Itami. I've loved your work and I loved adapting your character into my narrative. This was really fun, can't wait to see what you put up!

Pennydox
Artist
235 comments
# 6   Posted: Oct 9 2014, 01:51 PM
I expect two finished comics in ten days. And remember, finished comics is not a contest about how many pages are done, but how complete they are.

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1084 comments
# 5   Posted: Oct 6 2014, 06:52 PM
Aww yes, more Gangsta Geeta in action. BRING IT

Cracking Skulls
Artist
344 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 27 2014, 07:03 PM
Remember what you've been taught, everything that's been said from all three of us and no one else. Don't make those lessons mean nothing. And good luck

Majikura
Artist
466 comments
# 3   Posted: Sep 22 2014, 12:55 PM
I expect you to fail.  

Prove me wrong.

luniara
Artist
528 comments
# 2   Posted: Sep 22 2014, 12:45 PM
I wanted to stop and tell you how proud I am of you Rikun! I feel like...you're all grown up now. *tear* Mamo and I are like a mama and papa watching our little boy out in the world.

Shen
Global Moderator
1303 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 22 2014, 12:40 PM
kung fu girls all around! nice!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Oct 26th, 2014
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 1645
Winner: Rikun
 

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