Boek vs. Jira

Boek vs. Jira

Boek vs. Jira

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WrathMonkey
3 comments
# 4   Posted: Oct 9 2014, 12:53 AM
Not bad, Ronin. I wish I already had your talent and skill! Now, for the critique portion:

a.) Background needs some detail, sure; I didn't mind the sketchy look as much as the monotone color set. Even if you want the brown/gray urban look, you can still mix it up with many shades and tons of those colors, as well as throw in some color for special effect where necessary.

b.) Your text looks very unfinished, so I'll bank on Mrnoitaull's guess of "running out of time," but still I think it could improve. I assume you used Arial or a similarly default fault to write the dialogue in, so maybe next time consider a font and narrative-box color scheme that fits your style (same goes for the bubbles).

c.) The story feels a little cliche -- hero is Regular Guy on the outside, Uncontrollable Darkness on the inside. Walking down the city streets With His Hands in His Pockets, takes a wrong turn into a Dead-End Alley. Trio of Thugs tries to rob him, but they don't know his True Power. Kid Who Looks Weak but is Really Strong jumps in. Not necessarily bad, but it feels a little contrived.

I hope this was all very helpful. Good luck with your future comics!

Darius Corry
Artist
428 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 8 2014, 06:42 AM
Ronin, You're down the right path but I would assume you ran out of time. Though I do appreciate you having a completed story, I would suggest more love to the backgrounds.. . I'm guilty of it as well.

Drifter Ronin
Artist
103 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 7 2014, 08:00 PM
Definitely a good learning experience, getting back into sequentials is no easy task. Looking forward to seeing your side Cherubas!

Shojin
Artist
92 comments
# 1   Posted: Sep 27 2014, 01:40 AM
Glad to see the both of you in battle again! Looking forward to seeing what you both put on the table.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Oct 14th, 2014
Votes Cast: 13
Page Views: 857
Winner: Drifter Ronin
 

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