The Tezuka Family / Miyajima Minori
Critiques & Comments
# 8
Posted:
Sep 2 2014, 07:19 PM
I am so glad you pointed that out jong. I actually realised that a little too late when I got to the end of this. 8'D
# 7
Posted:
Sep 2 2014, 12:12 PM
This is a decent break into the next chapter of this character's role in void.
Stylistically I'm not digging the scratchy pencil lines in the background. Wouldn't it have been easier to just use a solid block of tone or a gradient with much less effort and cleaner effects? The sheer amount of it comes off to me as an insecurity of just leaving certain parts of the composition white-blank. You don't have to fill in everything all the time.
Otherwise keep it up LJS, keep making more comics!
Stylistically I'm not digging the scratchy pencil lines in the background. Wouldn't it have been easier to just use a solid block of tone or a gradient with much less effort and cleaner effects? The sheer amount of it comes off to me as an insecurity of just leaving certain parts of the composition white-blank. You don't have to fill in everything all the time.
Otherwise keep it up LJS, keep making more comics!
# 6
Posted:
Sep 2 2014, 11:02 AM
Cool story bro
Not a fan of the face her daughter gives when she hugs her, kinda out of left field stylistically. I mirror what some of the other folks say as well.
Keep up the good work!
Not a fan of the face her daughter gives when she hugs her, kinda out of left field stylistically. I mirror what some of the other folks say as well.
Keep up the good work!
# 5
Posted:
Aug 31 2014, 09:49 PM
Thanks for thr comments guys! Yeah totally aware of the background issues, was kinda cutting corners to get this out before my school resumed. I'll go look into background rendering methods to increase quality.
Also this is done completely digitally with warm greys.
Oh and her husbando actually runs a gym on caelum.
Also this is done completely digitally with warm greys.
Oh and her husbando actually runs a gym on caelum.
# 4
Posted:
Aug 31 2014, 02:38 PM
Is Minori's husby a househusband? It's a nice insight into the family life. Also a nice plot spinner
# 3
Posted:
Aug 31 2014, 12:32 PM
You can improve your speech bubbles by adding more space around the text inside the bubble. Your font choice is clean enough that you could shrink the text a bit, instead of enlarging the bubbles. Don't forget about your environments, they're at least as important as your characters.
# 2
Posted:
Aug 31 2014, 10:32 AM
A lot of your backgrounds elements are rough. It's weird looking at stuff like the incredibly clean and geometric bench and vending machine, then right behind them is a forest made of very scribbly, organic marks. Your backgrounds and setting are just as important as your characters, try to give the same attention and care to them. While brush effects and abstract tones can be fine, or even fitting and appropriate, it feels like you're both over using them and not applying them carefully.
I really like the warm colour you're using for your inks, it kinda reminds me of a bic pen.
I really like the warm colour you're using for your inks, it kinda reminds me of a bic pen.
# 1
Posted:
Aug 29 2014, 03:40 PM
oh my! plot stuff! Minori is moving up in the world! And what a cute family she has! I love your style of inking and theres some pretty cute expressions in this, too. can't wait to see what comics we get out of this development!
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Sep 4th, 2014
Votes Cast:
14
Page Views:
1208
Help Needed
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Artist
If you're doing hatching like this, avoid making it look messy. Messy would be when the lines aren't consistent (like when you shade one area with parallel lines there are areas where lines are bunched up and look darker) and hooks on the end of the lines (when you draw a straight line and work really quickly to draw the other line, the lines end up with hook shapes on the end). Avoid those two to keep things from looking messy. I think it would be interesting to try out manga comic tones one day.