Pocky - I like to work in stages, usually, because if I sit down and be like, "YES, this comic I'm about to do needs better story, better coloring, better lineart-" then I just get overwhelmed and freak out and end up not doing it. So 'm trying to sort of work on things, like, "this comic needs better colors" and then the next comic "needs better lines", as opposed to fixing everything at once.
Nate isn't always a damsal in distress xD (Although he sort of is in the Goth Girls one) At the moment, he's just sort of getting his feet in this new world and trying to come to terms with the existence of surreal/absurd creatures/situations. He is super badass! I promise! And the next comic after the Versus Goth Girls one, is going to hopefully show a bit of that.
Ignatius Weaver vs. Raygun
Critiques & Comments
# 14
Posted:
Feb 3 2014, 07:55 AM
# 13
Posted:
Feb 3 2014, 07:44 AM
Rob: Don't worry about pages, when I did my first one week battle it was one page, then the next one week battle it was five, and then the next one week battle it was eight pages. Yes, my hand wanted to break and it was super painful to do anything with my hands for a week after, but I mean practice makes perfect. I've already inked twelve pages by hand in two weeks now and my hand doesn't feel as much strain as it used to.
Regarding plot, impact is good, and although your character is not a fighting character, hopefully it's not the damsel in distress all the time. Got to work your way around and to situations. Bigger or more serious conflicts = more impact. Usually the milder they are, the more they seem like a 'hangout' comic (where characters are just sittin and talking somewhere). Another way of gaining impact is pacing your comic--sometimes shortening or condensing the story would make things seem more fast pace (don't go too fast though!) At least you finished your first comic and that's a good start.
Kent: it's a really grey comic. Try some different greys, or texture/gradient variants. Contrast, anything >.>
Regarding plot, impact is good, and although your character is not a fighting character, hopefully it's not the damsel in distress all the time. Got to work your way around and to situations. Bigger or more serious conflicts = more impact. Usually the milder they are, the more they seem like a 'hangout' comic (where characters are just sittin and talking somewhere). Another way of gaining impact is pacing your comic--sometimes shortening or condensing the story would make things seem more fast pace (don't go too fast though!) At least you finished your first comic and that's a good start.
Kent: it's a really grey comic. Try some different greys, or texture/gradient variants. Contrast, anything >.>
# 12
Posted:
Feb 2 2014, 10:38 PM
Majikura- I couldve developed it more, but there's only so much I can do in limited pages, and honesty doing as many as I did was a bit of a pain in the ass. I do need a way to have my stories generate more impact over a shorter period, and that's definitely added to the list of shit I need to work on.
Although, Ray seems sort of cheeky and I thought a half-assed request for a thankyou kiss for rescuing Nate, sort of suited him (But I could be completely off-base).
Although, Ray seems sort of cheeky and I thought a half-assed request for a thankyou kiss for rescuing Nate, sort of suited him (But I could be completely off-base).
# 11
Posted:
Feb 2 2014, 10:17 PM
Rob: I did not enjoy this story. The story's pacing felt really forced and there was not enough bromance to make the kiss scene have any impact. In fact, i think the "rescue me" plot made it have even less significance. The character writing was also especially weak. Nobody just walks up to people and says "Hey new person I found in the woods, lets kiss."
# 10
Posted:
Feb 1 2014, 09:19 PM
Rob -
If anyone knows lines, it's Jong, and I think he's totally onto something. I know you really like softness and everything, but maybe try using a hard, black tool the next time you ink (digitally or traditionally). Something with no transparency, no mercy, that really speaks loudly. Get bold. If your line isn't soft enough to be ignored, it'll force you to work on your line-work a little more, be a little more aware of it.
Since you like using softer rendering, you could also always try adding texture with your linework, rather than light and shadows. It'd let the eye relax a little bit, give some variety in the visuals, but still let you keep those soft colours you love so much.
It's amazing finally seeing this comic done dude, it's a totally impressive first fight. My first few fights, I was so overwhelmed I could barely keep it together, but you really worked hard (like super hard), and brought everything you had. It's gonna be so cool to see how you improve.
Kent -
Dude, I wish you had removed that grey film from the comics before you posted them. It's like you were starting something and then just never finished. I also don't like the white outlines around characters when you have them in a black panel, it makes them look like cutouts.
Besides that stuff, I really think this is my favorite comic of yours in a long while. There's so much variety in EVERYTHING; your line work, the environments, camera shots, poses. You pushed your abilities way farther than I've ever seen you do, I really mean it. I don't even want to pull out on or two spots in particular, because it's such a consistent improvement. Also, 2nd person perspective writing. Holy shit bro, you have some serious balls.
More comics like this dude!
If anyone knows lines, it's Jong, and I think he's totally onto something. I know you really like softness and everything, but maybe try using a hard, black tool the next time you ink (digitally or traditionally). Something with no transparency, no mercy, that really speaks loudly. Get bold. If your line isn't soft enough to be ignored, it'll force you to work on your line-work a little more, be a little more aware of it.
Since you like using softer rendering, you could also always try adding texture with your linework, rather than light and shadows. It'd let the eye relax a little bit, give some variety in the visuals, but still let you keep those soft colours you love so much.
It's amazing finally seeing this comic done dude, it's a totally impressive first fight. My first few fights, I was so overwhelmed I could barely keep it together, but you really worked hard (like super hard), and brought everything you had. It's gonna be so cool to see how you improve.
Kent -
Dude, I wish you had removed that grey film from the comics before you posted them. It's like you were starting something and then just never finished. I also don't like the white outlines around characters when you have them in a black panel, it makes them look like cutouts.
Besides that stuff, I really think this is my favorite comic of yours in a long while. There's so much variety in EVERYTHING; your line work, the environments, camera shots, poses. You pushed your abilities way farther than I've ever seen you do, I really mean it. I don't even want to pull out on or two spots in particular, because it's such a consistent improvement. Also, 2nd person perspective writing. Holy shit bro, you have some serious balls.
More comics like this dude!
# 9
Posted:
Jan 31 2014, 11:24 PM
Good Stuff
Rob - First off i love the coloring, its definitely got an interesting look and i'm excited to see more. panels were really clear, I was never lost at any point. And your interpretation of VOID! Thats what i'm interested most of all. Expand that shit.My only issue would be some of the emptiness in your backgrounds, lots of yellow, you've got this cool new world and i would like to more of it. REALLY good for a 1st battle. Keep it up!
Kent - I don't know if i've ever said but you are SO good at pacing and dialogue. Like, the best. But where is your color? Theres a panel on page 7, where the building is sticking out of the panel. I don't think its a rule or anything but i've always interpreted that sort of thing as the artist saying "here is the next panel to read". Maybe its just a personal preference. Anyway, great comic from beginning to end.
Rob - First off i love the coloring, its definitely got an interesting look and i'm excited to see more. panels were really clear, I was never lost at any point. And your interpretation of VOID! Thats what i'm interested most of all. Expand that shit.My only issue would be some of the emptiness in your backgrounds, lots of yellow, you've got this cool new world and i would like to more of it. REALLY good for a 1st battle. Keep it up!
Kent - I don't know if i've ever said but you are SO good at pacing and dialogue. Like, the best. But where is your color? Theres a panel on page 7, where the building is sticking out of the panel. I don't think its a rule or anything but i've always interpreted that sort of thing as the artist saying "here is the next panel to read". Maybe its just a personal preference. Anyway, great comic from beginning to end.
# 8
Posted:
Jan 26 2014, 02:17 PM
Jesus, really satisfying Void battle from the both of you!
Rob- This is an awesome first battle from you with an uncommon take on the concept of Void. The main strength of your comic are you colors and use of textures, however your weak spot is line art. Line art is probably as equally important to the power of your comics as your colors (which i praise your consistent use of)- and the evidence I use for this is the impact your first page has (with darker lines) over the pages after (with lighter, gray lines). Your first page has a stronger impression simply because the line art had a greater presence, even if it was just slightly darker.
Kent- This is an impressively focused entry- it manages to tell a near-chapterful story in manner of 7 pages. The characters' personalities are spot on. While your inks are clean and sharp, it seems as though you were going to do something beyond a mono-gray background, in that instance it looks incomplete in that regard.
Rob- This is an awesome first battle from you with an uncommon take on the concept of Void. The main strength of your comic are you colors and use of textures, however your weak spot is line art. Line art is probably as equally important to the power of your comics as your colors (which i praise your consistent use of)- and the evidence I use for this is the impact your first page has (with darker lines) over the pages after (with lighter, gray lines). Your first page has a stronger impression simply because the line art had a greater presence, even if it was just slightly darker.
Kent- This is an impressively focused entry- it manages to tell a near-chapterful story in manner of 7 pages. The characters' personalities are spot on. While your inks are clean and sharp, it seems as though you were going to do something beyond a mono-gray background, in that instance it looks incomplete in that regard.
# 7
Posted:
Jan 26 2014, 01:56 PM
ROBBBOOOOOOOOOO: This is a really impressive first battle! I really like the colours you used but I think you could be bit more confident with your line work - its obvious you got mad skills, keep up the good work!
Also smoochie-smooch.
KENT: MMMANLY KITCHEN. I really like the Ghoul design you did! Its brilliant to see you experimenting with more diverse angels, great detailed backgrounds too. Just keep at it! Great work PER USUAL.
Also smoochie-smooch.
KENT: MMMANLY KITCHEN. I really like the Ghoul design you did! Its brilliant to see you experimenting with more diverse angels, great detailed backgrounds too. Just keep at it! Great work PER USUAL.
# 6
Posted:
Jan 26 2014, 05:37 AM
KENT. I am stupidly jealous. The story for your comic is wickedly better than mine *_* I am saving every page so I can read it over and over again. The licky monster though. The hallucinating bits. I am feeling second hand embarrassment over Nate busting Ray's mirror, and the overwhelming need to apologise profusely on my character's behalf.
The only things I can say as far as fixy things would be, the perspective shots of the characters look a little wonky to me, like the heads don't really fit the bodies (on Pg 5 & 7). I am infinately in love with the last panel on page 3. And on page 7, the windows seem a bit off on the side of the building because they just run into the building line- and only having 3 windows make the building look very thin. And the two top panels, I'm not sure which one is supposed to be read first?
Bonus points for shirtless Ray <3 And his kitchen is adorable, with the super manly flower pattern on the kitchen chairs. Is that a spider web on the ceiling fan ._. I love that panel though. Ray looks so pleased with himself. I love how you put detail into the cup. Such a little insignificant thing, and you gave it detail anyways <3
The only things I can say as far as fixy things would be, the perspective shots of the characters look a little wonky to me, like the heads don't really fit the bodies (on Pg 5 & 7). I am infinately in love with the last panel on page 3. And on page 7, the windows seem a bit off on the side of the building because they just run into the building line- and only having 3 windows make the building look very thin. And the two top panels, I'm not sure which one is supposed to be read first?
Bonus points for shirtless Ray <3 And his kitchen is adorable, with the super manly flower pattern on the kitchen chairs. Is that a spider web on the ceiling fan ._. I love that panel though. Ray looks so pleased with himself. I love how you put detail into the cup. Such a little insignificant thing, and you gave it detail anyways <3
# 5
Posted:
Jan 26 2014, 05:13 AM
/grammar nazi begins/
Rob: page 5, panel 2: "Your welcome"
Kent: page 7, panel 3: "You're hand is bleeding"
You guys need to swap your yours and you'res! But seriosuly my obsessive compulsive mind now finds it hard to focus on anything else. I think it's fine on forums etc but wen you are in a sense publishing a finished comic... -5 points (not really )
/end of grammar nazi/
Rob: Lovely color palette and textures! It would be nice to see some more backgrounds tho, as there is not a lot of them. But where they appear they are fab... p2 last panel for one. I think you can get away without them a lot of the time, but there are points where it feels a bit empty (p3 panel 1, or pgs4 and 5 - last panels). The story lacks a little bit oomph for me, but I can't quite put my finger on it, so you can ignore this. Pretty damn good for a first comic tho, you can pat yourself on the back
Kent: hilarioussss! I am loving the hallucination moments, I have a very soft spot for these kinds of things.
Rob: page 5, panel 2: "Your welcome"
Kent: page 7, panel 3: "You're hand is bleeding"
You guys need to swap your yours and you'res! But seriosuly my obsessive compulsive mind now finds it hard to focus on anything else. I think it's fine on forums etc but wen you are in a sense publishing a finished comic... -5 points (not really )
/end of grammar nazi/
Rob: Lovely color palette and textures! It would be nice to see some more backgrounds tho, as there is not a lot of them. But where they appear they are fab... p2 last panel for one. I think you can get away without them a lot of the time, but there are points where it feels a bit empty (p3 panel 1, or pgs4 and 5 - last panels). The story lacks a little bit oomph for me, but I can't quite put my finger on it, so you can ignore this. Pretty damn good for a first comic tho, you can pat yourself on the back
Kent: hilarioussss! I am loving the hallucination moments, I have a very soft spot for these kinds of things.
# 4
Posted:
Jan 10 2014, 09:14 AM
*flails into the distance*
I DIDN"T SEE THIS HERE UNTIL NOW.
I'm so pumped. I want the 15 days to be up right now!
omg, I'm so impatient >.>;;
@Hat- IM EXCITED TOO, SO VERY EXCITED *_*
@Puzzlething- If by rough you mean stupidly long, because I suck ass at limiting my scripts? Then yes xD
@BenT- YES SIR YES! MANNING UP! *dons a fez*
Genre mashup? Do you mean like, how Ray is like badass monster hunting killing guy (like a one-man episode of supernatural), and Nate is like fluffy fantasy sweetness?
The way my colors are turning out, I should totally title this "Nate & The Technicolor Gunslinger", LOL
I DIDN"T SEE THIS HERE UNTIL NOW.
I'm so pumped. I want the 15 days to be up right now!
omg, I'm so impatient >.>;;
@Hat- IM EXCITED TOO, SO VERY EXCITED *_*
@Puzzlething- If by rough you mean stupidly long, because I suck ass at limiting my scripts? Then yes xD
@BenT- YES SIR YES! MANNING UP! *dons a fez*
Genre mashup? Do you mean like, how Ray is like badass monster hunting killing guy (like a one-man episode of supernatural), and Nate is like fluffy fantasy sweetness?
The way my colors are turning out, I should totally title this "Nate & The Technicolor Gunslinger", LOL
# 3
Posted:
Jan 4 2014, 05:43 PM
Mmm... genre mashup. This ought to be interesting.
IT'S HERO TIME. PUT YOUR MAN HATS ON.
IT'S HERO TIME. PUT YOUR MAN HATS ON.
# 2
Posted:
Jan 4 2014, 02:00 PM
I AM EXCITED SO VERY EXCITED
# 1
Posted:
Jan 4 2014, 12:55 PM
YESSSSSSSSSS. RAYGUN AND NEW BLOOD.
Good luck Rob, first fights are always super rough, but you got this! Don't end a day without adding at least one line and you'll totes make it to the finish line!
Good luck Rob, first fights are always super rough, but you got this! Don't end a day without adding at least one line and you'll totes make it to the finish line!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
3 weeks
Ended:
Feb 1st, 2014
Votes Cast:
29
Page Views:
1928
Winner:
Mister Kent
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Artist
Rob ~ The colors were overall lovely on your comic! Very cute, fantastical creature designs too. There are a few places where the anatomy is off, especially when the first flower kerplodes and when Ray is firing guns -- it's mostly arm and torso distortions that I see. Nice first comic on VOID, and of course I hope to see lots more!