TDK           -

             I really don't like the thick white outlines around your figures whenever a character is against a shadow. It's a really weak way to make up for not planning out your lights and darks. Don't be afraid to mix-up the light to keep everything clear, and cast a little bit of light on what you wanted to be be a silhouette to bring it out against a dark backgrounds. Also, try to make use of suggested line in this situation. People's abilities to assume and draw the rest of the form in their mind is stupid powerful. You don't need to spell everything out.

           This is a tiny thing, but make sure all your blacks are the same black. I can see black splotches all throughout your shadows, maybe where you patched stuff? Maybe you need to check the contrast on your monitor if it's not super visible when you look at it. It's a dumb thing, but it impacts the polish of what is otherwise one of your most polished comics to date.

          This feels like a huge jump for you, it's amazing. I actually didn't catch the Batman ref until William Duel mentioned it, it's super clever. This comic is on a whole new level of solid . The action is way tighter and smoother, you really put us in there and kept the pace up. Too often when I read your stuff I felt like you had a tendency to keep us too far from the action, but this is peerrrffeeect. Also I love love love that you're starting to put more attention into the setting, some real love in there. Sure, your environments and backgrounds are still kinda vacant, but the characters in the crowds and streets are so wonderful. You were totally enjoying yourself, and it totally shows in all those charming peeps. Keep it up dude!


Pineapple Pocky           -

                             I really like the sketchiness and activity of your line, but your forms and figures do seem rushed (which it seems like they were from what you said) try planning and sketching out you dudes a little a more. You can still  render them in a devil may care way, but that sort of whimsical rendering works best when it's being done over a figure with alot of inherent strength. Choose spots to render carefully and fully, and shift from tightly rendered to loosely sketched-in to convery motion and move the viewers eye. You can totally make this stuff work!

                         The subtle colours of the greycale are lovely, I hope you do another comic with that stuff. It feels rich and warm, even though it's just grey. And while I think you need to strengthen your stuff and take a little more care, I really do like som of that sketchy line, and the million punches panel on page 8 was soooooo cool, I wish that had been the big ass panel of that page, cause it was great. It totally reminds me of old school Monday, all lines and action and shapes. So nice.

This was reblogged on the tumblr but it's a good and rare tutorial on different types of panel variation:
http://entervoidex.tumblr.com/post/66682186038/helpyoudraw-a-losties-tutorial-guide-to

I didn't really used mixed media....sorta. A week later, I realized I would not have finished on time, so I tossed the entire thing, and redid it by sketching it with a pen, shading on the computer, and adding filters so it looked like I worked the thing traditionally. I always have a really hard time with trying to compose and figure out panelling size and shape. Do you have any recommendations or tips?

tdk, it is always great to see you continue to evolve and improve.  Your backgrounds continue to grow more complex and detailed and your story flow gets a little better each time.  It's cool to see you attempt to challenge yourself with things like silent comics concept which requires you to work out that pure visual storytelling muscle. But there are certainly issues.  On page one, it isn't entirely clear that it's Florence in the hood or that Florence has taken off the hood.  You would have been better aided by having a shot of Florence in the middle of taking the hood off and then reveal the face underneath.  Basically the opposite of what you have in that sequence.  The following Batman Animated Series sequence though is better done and much clearer and truer to it's referential source.  But your silhouettes show a lack of underlying structure and so some of the shapes and outlines seem clumsy or ill developed.  Especially the fist the silhouette figure throws, it looks like a bunch of sausages on the end of a log.  You still need to practice speed lines as the one panel with them in it is rather sloppy.  The lines don't follow perspective and instead of scribbles along the body, be more patient with the lines and make them clear and concise.  It's good to see line variation as it helps to clear things up in the crowd scenes but overall your lines still need cleaning and tightening.  Perhaps it's time for you to experiment with other inking tools and use finer pens and/or nibs.  Do some cloth studies to get a better sense of how cloth wraps itself around shapes and how to get more expressive with the movement of cloth.  

As you move to more complex backgrounds, I understand your hesitation to increase the contrast and maintain clarity but since you're moving in this direction it's a skill you'll need to practice.   There's too much white space and lack of shading when you've got crowds present.  What you should do from here is to look at the work of accomplished professionals and imitate what they've got going on.  Look at works like Hellsing which does contrast and detail well.  But don't only limit yourself to references from anime and manga.  I'm going to link for your benefit here the work of Walt Simonson. His inking and bw work is glorious and you'll notice that there is a lot of detail in the backgrounds and lots of complex shapes but there is still clear separation between objects.
http://brianmichaelbendis.tumblr.com/post/64125205281/them-art-of-walt-simonson

And here another example of a body of work by an artist who works in high contrast:
http://brianmichaelbendis.tumblr.com/post/62995762885/john-paul-leon-high-contrast-gallery-of


Pineapple Pocky, it's cool to see you use mixed media but at the same time I feel it is hurting you because it creates inconsistency from page to page.  This is especially true in the faces as you switch rather rapidly between super serious, silly, extra silly and something within that spectrum.  You've got an interesting sense of composition but there's a lack of clarity that hinders your storytelling.  I think in your eagerness to depict action you're using too many scribbly effects to try to indicate speed and intensity.  There's also no breathing room in your paneling.  Page 9 was really confusing to me and took me a few tries to figure out how Jimmy Boom showed up.  Also your loose style needs some tightening.  It's too loose and lacks the expressiveness to make such a style work.  This goes back to what I feel is an inconsistency in your linework which switches from loose and sketchy to clean lines rather whimsically.  The grey tones are interesting though and visually interesting to look at so keep it up.

tdk, your comic was AWESOME. Especially with the soundtrack, it was perfect.

Here's some musical accompaniment:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dgC75vdxwU

Very on.

It's on.