Roger Ribbit vs. Ms.Clean

Roger Ribbit vs. Ms.Clean

Roger Ribbit vs. Ms.Clean

by Ahmed

50.6%
320 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11

Crit level: No preference


49.4%
313 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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DeathlySilent
Artist
38 comments
# 13   Posted: Nov 30 2013, 08:31 AM
Puzzlething-  Thanks for the critique I'll definitely work on my bubbles and gutters more. I need to be better at planning my pages.  I'm glad you liked the Rat King he was fun to draw :). Might make him an NPC…

Con - Thank you so much for your comment, I'll absolutely work on my bubble placement for better flow. It's weird I always leave my bubbles for last and it shows. :( Maybe I'll try not to be so over the top next time that way people can read it easily ><.

Thanks again everyone, sorry for taking so long to respond :)

Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 12   Posted: Nov 27 2013, 12:25 AM
Oh man, I love how you drew Roger. You totally nailed that head shape, which I'm not even really sure how to draw sometimes haha. The spotted skin is a neat little touch too. The colors are great and I really like some of the little things like using Roger's leg and foot as the edge of the panel on page 1 or the sewage turning into a panel at the bottom of page 2. Cool stuff, we'll have to battle again sometime!

Puzzlething, thanks so much for the tip! I've never really read up on 'line of action' before but it's exactly what my art needs. My stuff gets kinda stiff sometimes so this will be good for quelling some of the frustration I've been having with that. I'll be working on my submission for the entervoid anthology next and I will be sure to utilize this 'line of action' stuff.

Thanks for the comments everyone. I probably won't do another battle til the new year so it'll definitely be one of my New Year's Resolutions to turn in complete comics! This half-assery has got to end!

Puzzlething
Artist
457 comments
# 11   Posted: Nov 22 2013, 08:38 PM
Ahmed                -

                  Ahhhh dude, I wish you could've finished. Your polished stuff is always so hot. It makes it a little hard to critique your art stuff too, cause I dunno what you sacrificed to get what you've got. Like you could use way more background/setting work, but I can totally imagine you sacrificing that stuff on the altar of the deadline.

                    One thing you could work on though, is working some dynamism into your figures. You have such a great style for slick, action filled bros, I don't think you'd need to do much to improve them drastically. Have you ever read up on a thing called "line of action" ? It's an animation principle that's kinda like streamlined composition, and how it applies to one figure's pose. Do a little bit of searching on the internet and you should find dudes explaining it way better than I ever could, and with illustrations. The most I can say is try getting your figures down gesturally first, lay it down fast and exagerate/pay attention to line and flow more than anything.

                  As always, it's funny as hell, and you've got a great sense of visual storytelling dude. You mix it up in a really natural way, you keep it fresh but at the same time it feels straitforward and easy to read.



DeathlySilent             -

                            Your pages are so interesting and cool! I think you need to work on your composition a little bit so that the sequence of images is a little more clear. If you're gonna get so crazy and interesting with your pages, you really need to push that composition so that the story is really easy to read. Play around with saturation/desaturation to draw attention to things, and be mindful of eye-lines.

                 Try and be more intentional with your negative space. You're doing such cool stuff with your drawings, but your gutters don't feel nearly as well thought out. They seem just kinda incidental,

                 As a final little thing, give your words some room to breathe in their bubbles, you're totally crushing them to death. In some cases you're actually obscuring them.

                  I love your choices of colour dude, they're awesome, and how you switch between different pallettes like every page. It's like a feeling you made this whole comic with. Every page you're trying something new and different, in like everything. That muted color scheme on the last page is perfect, and the rat king was the best. THE BEST. He's the real star of the show. Swag for days.

Con
Artist
92 comments
# 10   Posted: Nov 20 2013, 02:41 PM
Ahmed, I dig the quality in the first few pages here. I'd love to see you work a little bit more with the dark black contrasts we're seeing here and there scattered among the first three fully inked pages to really help your characters pop. Right now it seems a bit random. I know you ran out of time and this could be attributed to that, but the comic seems a bit "top heavy"; that is, we focused a high percentage of pages, and your best quality pages to boot, on characters that didn't recur or effect the story. In fact until the last page or two there I thought that maybe it was a tie in to another comic that I was not privy to because I've been offsite for such a long while.  Otherwise I really enjoy your pacing. You might want to try drawing out your entire comic before going back and moving onto the next phrase. So all the storyboards, all the sketching, all the inking, etc. So that we can see the whole story. Again, I enjoy your entry and your style, I just would have enjoyed seeing all of it more.

DS, You put a lot of effort into this and it shows. A full colour entry in two weeks is nothing to sneeze at. Some of the panel work gets jumbled, especially around page four. It is hard for the eye to follow if I should read it as a splash page, or from left to right or...back and forth. I'm not sure. I had to read it a few times to catch your jive. What used to help me was drawing a zig zagging line beneath the panels to show where I wanted the eye to follow and put elements in the panel to help it along and move down the page. I would also be careful with your speech bubbles--I want to be able to read all the words your characters are saying. They should not be obscured by the bubble unless it has a reason within the comic imho, and it distracts from your artwork I feel. You also want to remember that whoever speaks first should probably have their speech bubble up higher and closer to the left, since that's where your reader's eye starts. This comes up, mixed with the panel conundrum, in page two at the top. Since the line between the panels is undefined, and the frog character's head is overlapping the speech bubble, I feel as though I need to read over to the right next, rather than down to the rest of their conversation within that panel. Just something to keep in mind in the future.

DeathlySilent
Artist
38 comments
# 9   Posted: Nov 16 2013, 11:18 AM
OMG Ahmed! I love the way you portrayed Ms. Clean and you included DB AND made him bad-ass! I'm sorry you couldn't finish, some of those panels looked like they would've been amazing. Great story and good job :D

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 8   Posted: Nov 16 2013, 10:23 AM
Ahmed

How are you

So $%&#ing

Funny

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 7   Posted: Nov 16 2013, 10:15 AM
Sorry for the delay! Looks like battle notifications are broken so the site didn't let me know comics were ready until today.

Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 6   Posted: Nov 14 2013, 10:50 PM
Whew, just uploaded mine too! I only managed to ink the first 4 pages, the rest are just pencil...and it stops short of the ending I wanted to do. :/ One of these days I'll figure out how to manage my time wisely! I'm just excited to see someone else draw my character!

DeathlySilent
Artist
38 comments
# 5   Posted: Nov 14 2013, 10:28 PM
Uploaded! Not amazing (especially my bubbles) but an improvement! Can't wait to see what you got Ahmed! :D

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1077 comments
# 4   Posted: Nov 11 2013, 12:26 AM
Been a while since we've seen Ms. Clean. Looking forward to this!

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 3   Posted: Oct 31 2013, 11:28 AM
yay I was hoping to see another roger ribbit

Ahmed
Artist
29 comments
# 2   Posted: Oct 24 2013, 10:07 PM
Thanks! Good luck to you too! I'm looking forward seeing your take on Roger. Can't wait to get going on this. And Dirt Buster is a cool little dude, he'll definitely make an appearance in my comic!

DeathlySilent
Artist
38 comments
# 1   Posted: Oct 24 2013, 03:19 PM
This should be fun! Good luck Ahmed!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Nov 22nd, 2013
Votes Cast: 17
Page Views: 828
Winner: Ahmed
 

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