Koosh and Lapin vs. Veronica Nightingale

Koosh and Lapin vs. Veronica Nightingale

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Koosh and Lapin43.2%
478 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3

Crit level: No preference

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Veronica Nightingale56.8%
629 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 9   Posted: Sep 30 2013, 07:29 PM
Nothin              -

               Dude, you got way better at line quality! Everyone's mentioned it, but it seriously looks great. It really suits your work. I think everyone's brought up good stuff, so all I really have to say is watch your perspective. It sorta looks like you drew the background in separate sections, because all three grounds (fore, middle, and back) are done in different perspectives.

Majikura            -

                    I think you're overusing some of MS's weirder brushes. Like I find a lot of the mind control affect distracting, it's looks too much like a special brush just dragged across the page. Though really, it could just be because I'm too aware of what that stuff looks like, and it takes me out of the work when I recognize it.

                Your backgrounds and architecture are looking awesome dude! It makes me sad that they sort of completely disappear by the last 2 pages, but it would've been hard to keep that level up and still get everything in by the 2 week marker. Some of your distance lines get really faint and super pixelated though. I have no idea what could be causing it. Maybe resizing?

               Pyras mentioned trying to work on making your hands more organic, and I totes agree, and I'd press you to work on that throughout your figures as a whole. Your people are kinda simple and log-like. Though, I'm not really sure that would matter too much if your people were just a little more dynamic, and held themselves just a little more naturally.

             Still, it's a wonderful comic dude, and it looks like you worked really hard on it. It's awesome to see you start pulling out all the stops on your backgrounds, and I always think it's cool seeing dudes continue their storylines in void and draw stuff together. Reminds me of when I didn't even have a character, and I just spent a bunch of time tracing the plotline through so many different comics.

# 8   Posted: Sep 25 2013, 04:49 PM
others have said it but I'll just reiterate some of the same stuff. Kichi, yay for comics again! But I feel like not much happened here? Like there wasn't much for expression and gesture and half the story was missing. I also agree with Bobo that their personalities seemed a bit off. But great ink work and perspective!
Kura I love her your comics, especially your Veronica comics, always sit perfectly as a one shot but seem like part of this grander plan, like I could read just this one and get it and be entertained or I could read Veronica's whole archive and there will be this great overarching story weaved into each one, its pretty boss lol. your backgrounds as always are PHENOMENAL, goddam, and I liked how they tricked Koosh lol. and sexy Veronica hair flip! lol! overall very great comic!

Web Dev
# 7   Posted: Sep 25 2013, 02:50 PM
Kichi: Like Kent said, it's great to see you drawing comics! However, I felt like both of the characters were waaaay off in this comic. Koosh-Koosh was too open and cheerful for what you seemed to imply his personality is, and Veronica hardly had any personality at all. Try to work on making your characters feel really true to themselves and real.

Kura: Your stuff gets better and better every time! I love your attention to backgrounds (although a few panels were a little blank, but it didn't really bother me). I enjoy the whole meta-plot you've got going on now, and I'm glad you're around to keep it going (considering how the rest of Horizon seems to have pretty much disappeared). My only complaint is that I wanted more, and the ending didn't feel very complete for me. So just make another comic so I can be appeased! :D

Mister Kent
# 6   Posted: Sep 25 2013, 02:23 PM
Kichi - Yay! Glad to see you back to Void comics. I would've liked to have seen a little more detail or texture on the backgrounds - Behind them is grass and a field of blue--I assume that's the sky? Maybe some clouds or streaks of color would've helped. As always, your characters are rendered in a bouncy and attractive style, and I'm eagerly awaiting your next comic, hopefully soon!

Kura - Great backgrounds all throughout, my personal fave being Panel 1 page 2 and that GREAT looking angled building on page 3. Points agreed with what others have said--nice that you were able to convey the body type differences in the two ladies. Also on hands: one spot that glared at me was the Veronica's hand on the last page, last panel--if fully extended, her fingers look like they'd all be the same length, including her pinky. As always, nice to see the development of Ms Nightingale and Caelum! Keep up the good work!

# 5   Posted: Sep 25 2013, 04:45 AM
I ship it.

KK: Basic pretty colors and dialogue. I wish you'd exaggerate expressions more, I felt Veronica was too... Bland. I mean, I understand that is the point of the character, but I have seen some cool face games from your other comics (BeoVSGreg comes to mind right now). Even Kura moved those muscles with her character quite a bit.
Other than that, I love your lines they are so. HNNG

VN: Lovely backgrounds as always.
However, I felt too much TL;DR on the first pages. Too much dialogue. I understand you wanted to tell your stories, but I'd rather have you draw more pannels than add too much text on a single bubble.
I'm gonna go out and freak out about how well you managed to get down the body type differences between Miyajima and Nightingale; That's probably my favorite pannel. (Excluding backgrounds. Because damn)
Like always, you seem to be having another story under your sleeve, and that is pretty cool. Looking forward what else you can come up with.

# 4   Posted: Sep 24 2013, 01:41 PM
On Koosh-Koosh: I like to think that I would have liked where it went but it feels like the first half of the comic is missing. I think it suffers from not having that conversation. It looks like the textured table is the only thing with a texture here and it stands out the wrong way, I would just use those colors you've been using already. The lines are pretty good actually, what would really make these pages pop is some shades on those colors.

On Nightingale: Beautiful backgrounds as always, I can't think of many artists on the site who excel past in you in that regard, and that's something to really be proud of since so many of us struggle with backgrounds. Your hands could use a little work to make them more organic. In page 6, Minori's hands seem doll-ish. On a side note, which I think might be a flawed observation based on my sole experience, but i don't think Caelum Cinema (or any movieplex) would have that many stories and be so narrow as far as space, unless it had like 1-2 theatres, and the rest of the floors were lease-able office space or something.

Good job both of y'all

# 3   Posted: Sep 24 2013, 09:55 AM
Sorry for the lack of thumbs! I'm not home at the moment so I had to post from my phone.

# 2   Posted: Sep 4 2013, 10:23 PM
Odd that I talk to you both so frequently and yet i'm still so excited to know what happens. GET TO IT!

# 1   Posted: Sep 4 2013, 04:06 PM

Comic Details -

Regular Match
Drawing Time: 2 weeks + 1
Ended: Sep 30th, 2013
Votes Cast: 29
Page Views: 1812
Winner: Majikura

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