Intro Story / Paavo Lawson

Intro Story / Paavo Lawson

Intro Story — Paavo Lawson

by Dechado


54%
Page 1Page 2Page 3

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Mister Kent
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944 comments
# 5   Posted: May 30 2013, 07:00 PM
Glad to see you get him in! It really does show progress, and it is very clean.

But like I said in the Incubator: backgroundssss! The city backgrounds are decent, but its those interiors that need A LOT of work. Especially panel 1, page 1--there's tangents and shadows where there shouldn't be, and I'm not sure what that wall is supposed to be. Just keep working at it, and I know you'll improve even more :D

Tofubeast
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254 comments
# 4   Posted: May 30 2013, 01:42 AM
Becs covered a lot of what I'd wanted to say, so I'll keep it simple:

This is the most finished I've seen your work, and I can tell that you're putting what you've learned into practice.

Next, you're going to have to work on making sure your characters look like they're grounded in the environment you've put them in. Study how people kneeling on the ground look, and how weight is distributed when someone is standing or walking.

KEEP DRAWING

cultmasterflex
Artist
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125 comments
# 3   Posted: May 29 2013, 08:14 PM
This was funny your off to a good start dude

Crafty
Artist
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65 comments
# 2   Posted: May 29 2013, 08:08 PM
PAAAAAAVO! Congrats on getting him in! 8D

Rah
Artist
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57 comments
# 1   Posted: May 29 2013, 05:55 PM
You've got some nice lines going on here and some good solid shading on the characters. They definitely stand out much more from the backgrounds than in previous comics of yours. It's good to see you trying to implement more detail and perspective in your backgrounds, so just keep pushing that so you're not left with big empty gaps. However, the lack of shading on the backgrounds is *really* detracting from them. There's a couple of attempts at light and shade but mostly it's just the same grey with random splodges of soft colouring that don't give any form to anything, so everything seems really flat. Think about the shapes and volumes of the background elements, much like you would with the characters, and use the shadows to help show that.For example, the light sources on page 1 don't appear anywhere near bright enough to backlight the other wolf character light that, judging by the lack of contrasting shading on the background. The same goes for the flames on page 3, they'd be casting a lot more light around so there'd be brighter highlights and darker shadows.
Aside from that, keep brushing up on your character drawing. One particular thing that people have commented on your work before and that I noticed in this comic again is body-language; sometimes the body language you use for characters doesn't really give off what you're trying to show. An example of this is on page 2 panel 3, when I first saw Helena in that panel I thought she was scared or embarrassed because of her extremely closed posture and the fact she's shaking, but then in the next panel she is really forward and even threatening! I get what you were trying to do, she's horny and wants some action, but if she had more of an open stance in that first panel, with her legs set apart and her arms folded more straight across her chest, instead of looking like she is defensively folding herself inwards, there wouldn't have been such a confusing contrast between the two panels. Do you get me?
But well done on getting your new character in and I'm looking forward to seeing how you tie in his story with Joey and Minerva's!

      Edited May 29 2013,  05:56 PM by Rah

Comic Details -

 
Ended: Jun 5th, 2013
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