Tinman: Thanks for the words, I'll try to keep them in mind for the rest of this arc best I can. Since it's gonna be a big long fight I'll definitely be challenged to try and keep injecting character development within the action.

Pyras- You've got some quality character development going on here, that would have served you well interjected in your action comics. Your tones and expressions convey much, although some depth is lost over the course of the comic. You could stand to work on some more dynamic anatomy to coincide with your nice clean character models, the proportions often suffer. Arena and P2's conversation forges their bond well but loses some steam when it becomes an info dump, still you wrapped things up handily enough to push their story forward and I anxiously anticipate your forthcoming arc.

Puzzlething: Thanks for the critique. I tried having the two go off on a tangent like one would in a regular conversation, as well as give nod to the length of time the two characters have been around, but it looks like that didn't work to my favor in the end. I'll see about keeping dialogue more focused in the future. Yes, I use simple geometric shapes. I mostly use triangles in Arena's case, but I do have an elongation problem. I do try using a more skeletal sketch to beginwith but I often find myself returning to the basic shapes without thinking. Thanks for the measurement. And yeah I like the texture alot, I'm gonna try something slightly different for part 2, i hope it's as successful.

Pocky: You're always more than welcome to ask me whatever lingering questions you have about this Orphanage saga, though this BB series will be ending that chapter for good. Adding stuff to the black with old pages is actually a great idea, I wish I thought of it, and had the time to implement it. Thanks for taking the effort to read past comics, I hope it was more enjoyable than it was a chore.

alberto311: Thank you

nice.

Even though I asked Coatl about the whole Orphanage thing, and I read this, there are still a few loopholes in my head. That or maybe I'm just overthinking it. I think in Void, this is one of the more intimately developed characters, as personality and life affects and surrounds her. What would have been a nice addition that would help all that black space would be to add actual comic panels from past comics as flashbacks. Just like a space filler or something.  I did a lot of digging through various comics/characters for the whole Orphanage shinnanigan, and a few scenes from it in this comic would have helped clarify a little.

    Early on, I really like the mood and pacing you set up. There's a good balance between informing the reader of an important situation, the Set thing, and how the characters are feeling/what their thinking about.  However, as you progress through the nostalgia bit, you lose that.You spend two pages doling out information that's totally unimportant to what's going on right now. What I would find interesting about them dredging up memories is why the characters are bringing up specific moments, and what it says about who they are/how they feel. You don't really focus on that though, it's just stuff like "This guy did this" and " I knew this guy". Very general stuff delivered very strait. I also think the memories of the past would have flowed into the bit about the skulls much better if it hadn't been separated by P2's other small questions.

             Do you plan your figures with simple geometric shapes? Like something to represent the ribcage and pelvis? There's a lot of inconsistency in the width of her torso, and they can get really stretched out. You put too much space between the widest part of the ribcage and the top of pelvis. The worst it gets is the first panel on page 10. On a normal person, that area should be about as long as a hand is wide.

    I really like all the effort you put into creating a mood and a tone here, and the texture is cool. It reminds me of newsprint paper. I can appreciate how much you're going outside your comfort zone and trying to improve. Don't approach these character moments as something that you need to get out of the way before the important/fun bit, or as something separate from the action. There's just as much opportunity for character development in action as in quieter moments.

Lefred: Thanks for the critique. I see what you mean about page 6, i'll keep watch of that in the future. Arena's non-use of contractions, is that what you're talking about? It kinda got stuck there after I used it for Miller's speech, but it's not a definitive. ALthough Arena has an accent that sounds european, she learned language from people, so it stands to reason that she should actually use contractions like everyone else. I'll likely bring them back. Glad the few jokes there are decent enough that you noticed them. As for the color-coding,
red: aggression
light blue: fear, panic
purple: well, let's just say Arena IS checking P2 out during his pull-ups.

Red: This is what my girlfriend was all like while she was reading it: http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120511051125/creepypasta/images/thumb/9/9a/Fap-now-kiss-l.png/1280px-Fap-now-kiss-l.png
I can say that the tension is not unintentional. I'm happy that you want to see more.. but I must warn all of y'all, the series is called 'gauntlet' for a reason, the greater majority of the rest of the parts will be lots and lots of fighting, like, "Shonen Jump saga with a boss that takes forever to beat" long, that is actually my direct influence for the rest of the comic. So I'm afraid you won't be getting much more of these from me for a bit.

William Duel: Thanks much for the critique. I value your crits alot because you tend to get into alot of specific art-based things most people don't touch upon. Thanks for explaining why you prefer this, even incomplete, over my action comics. I like drawing action comics much more but obviously the people much prefer that I draw these kinds of quieter comics, which at times feel like a chore to me. So it's good to know what I'm doing right and wrong in comparison. Hopefully this comic will help with the next parts of the gauntlet, which will be very action-oriented. Those "story so far"s will return after this BB is completed, I still find that although they annoy alot of people, they do genuinely help enough readers get what's going on for me to warrant them. But I'll try to work on keeping them from being a necessary read. In previous comics, one problem I had was not giving enough room to the speech bubbles, which cluttered my panels. So I tried being especially conscious of that for this issue, and I could tell even as I was posting them online that I kind of overshot it. I'll try to find that happy middle. I'll try to pay more attention to my figures, I had thought that I made each characters' figures varied enough but it looks like I'm not cutting it.

Bent-One: haha, really? it's just a thing~

I like this much better than most of your action comics.  Too frequently do your action comics rush towards the 'cool' climaxes and in that rush tend to bury all characterization and buildup.  When those 'final battles' with all of their raw emotion and cool battle sequences where good triumphs over evil happens in anime, I like those too, but usually its what happens after we've gotten to know the characters and care about their conflict.  It is the pathos and the payout to the audience after having stuck it out the whole time.  

I'm glad you didn't give us a complicated Story Thus Far page but you tried winking at the audience a bit too much with so many references of past Void events.  Less is always more.  

I'd like to see some more solid linework.  Or at least some variation in the lines especially in a monotone piece like this because until we get those few bites of color, there's no where to focus.  The texture is nice but it's all so even and we need to be focusing on the characters.

The attempts at background and establishing shots are good but because the pages are fairly large, the looseness and speed of the lines you used are really glaring.  If you're going to do this, then at the very least make the page sizes smaller or with less resolution so it'll look tighter.  If not then you're gonna have to work with tighter lines.  The inconsistent shadowing bugs me a little especially once it disappears and the only tradeoff we get are the bits of color you're fond of using.  

Quality does diminish as the comic goes on towards the end, but really for a BB you be able to tighten that stuff up.  

One final note, I see this issue with your figures which is constant in that they are all far too slender with little variation in body type.  Now I think this stems from having rather long necks and small heads but I have a hard time pinpointing exactly what the cause is.


I expected this to happen too and admittedly was pleasantly surprised it didn't.

I'm always glad to see people continuing their stories or having addendums and wish more people would followup like this.

Aww hell yes

GET THAT LOGO ON THE 2ND PAGE INTO THE STICKER JAM NOW!

Was I the only one waiting for them to make out the whole time? No?
I rather liked this, the texture was very very subtle and a really nice touch. This was a nice change from the more action packed stuff we've been seeing from you lately. You really impress me with how much you can get done in such a short period of time! Also, the cover was totally sweet. Can't wait for more!

Well, you know, depends on whether the devil is a good dancer and if he slips his feet under yours...
Anyway, that was pretty nice. good pace for the most part. I found the bit about recolecting past events was kinda unnecessary and made it just a bit longer than it needed, but it did set a good mood. On that, I liked the establishing shots at the begining, and there is just enough reminders of where they are so as to not be too overwhelmingly black backgrounds (it is a bit much black empty spaces though) The panels on page 6 are annoying, because the second panel goes down and cuts the third, it breaks the flow and confuses as to the order it should be read in. The bits of colour here were better, the tones and the desaturated colours did help set things together, but it seems very inconsistent; It's there then it's not then it is but an other color and I'm really not sure what the color coding is supposed to be. It's a nice soft piece, maybe a bit too soft, as what is supposed to be an intense moment at the end is kind of just eh, whatevs. Especially since you already showed us the creature last time, so it's not a surprise anymore except for Arena. You should have had the tension rise a lot higher before bringing that up, whereas here you have it rise a bit, then drop it with a joke and a slow page, and then shove the monster in. I think it'd been better if, for example, they had kept arguing more and more until shouting at each other and then BAM! Monster! Still, I'm glad you took the time to stop and just let things untangle. Also, I'm not sure, but did Arena always speak like that? Kinda bugged me, but not that much.

Anyway, I liked it. It had decent jokes and a quiet tone that I appreciate.

Oh, and I'd like to give a big thanks to my job, which went out of its way above and beyond to try and prevent me from working on this comic, including scheduling me last minute late night Friday, all day Saturday, and even yesterday. Thanks, job, you're a real pearl~

This might get posted after the TTT, but it technically takes place during Murphy's Law's hijinx in the tournament~

Can't wait for this!