Goth Girls vs. Nyle

Goth Girls vs. Nyle

Goth Girls vs. Nyle

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Goth Girls53.1%
645 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13

Crit level: No preference


by Jade★

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

Icon for Nyle46.9%
569 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9Page 10Page 11Page 12Page 13

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Atomicfish
Artist
116 comments
# 25   Posted: Jan 13 2013, 09:45 PM
Hey everyone, sorry for not responding sooner, but I just wanted to say thanks to all of you who read my crappy little comic and especially to you all who left feedback. I've read all of your comments and every bit of what you guys had to say is very helpful for me. It's all being brought into my next comic.

Bobo: I really loved your comic. It was funny and entertaining. I especially like when Alice summons that tiny dog/thing. So cute! Thanks for your awesome comic, bro! <3

Garfieldo
6 comments
# 24   Posted: Jan 11 2013, 12:09 AM
Not much I can add that hasn't been said already, but I'll go ahead and say it all anyway!

Atomicfish, I love how you've interpreted VOID as a sort of wish fulfillment reality for teenagers! I'm a sucker for alternate universes, so I really got a kick out the teenified characters. The toony expressions were fun, too. The shading looks a little haphazard at times, though: the light source isn't always consistent, and the individual shading on the floorboards on page 5 makes them look very rounded, almost as if they're bulging from the floor. On a more positive note, I feel like you really deserve praise for managing to write a comic that combined with with heartfelt moments in a way that felt genuine and balanced rather than contrived and awkward.

Jordan Bobo, I really enjoy your story of brushwork-- I just wish there was more of it! The environments are pretty empty-looking, but I'm guessing this is mainly due to you running out of time. Still, there's a bit of weirdness going on with the window in panel 1 of page 3. Assuming it's supposed to be a panel-within-a-panel showing the transition to Nyle's house, the placement and thinner outline of the panel make it look like Nyle and Alice are walking past a really huge window. If they're SUPPOSED to be walking past a huge window, what with VOID's quirky architecture and all, a door or a path connecting the building to the rest of the environment would have cleared things up substantially. I'm a fan of the chunky panel borders, though! The bit with Cthulhu was fun, but overall Nyle seemed pretty passive and uninvolved. It almost seems like you changed your mind on what the story was going to be halfway through; if that's the case, be sure to write down a 'script' for your comic before you dive into drawing it. If not, just focus on one main plot thread and you'll be golden!

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 23   Posted: Jan 8 2013, 09:49 AM
DrasticFantastic: Thanks for the encouragement, man! I tried hand-lettering my intro comic, but people said it was a little hard to read. I think I might try it again, though, since I can write pretty neatly when I try, and I do like the all-traditional look it adds to the comic. I'm not too sure about sound effects, though. Anyways, yeah. I will be doing way fewer pages in the future and way more bgs. I just tried to do too much and then didn't follow through this time. :)

DrasticFantastic
Artist
165 comments
# 22   Posted: Jan 8 2013, 09:16 AM
Atomic: Well I love those real-worldish younger interpretations of a lot of the void characters and the Murphy's Law line-up was pretty hilarious (loved how you did Vivian!). The story line was a pretty big jump from the first half to the ending in terms of mood and flow but I still knew what was going on and the very end had its nice little moral tacked on at the end. I like what your doing with experimenting with that textured brush, its looking good with the colors you used but just try not to go too bananas cause as chaotic as it was supposed to be at the end it seemed you went a bit nuts with it in the final pages still. Keep it up the good work!

Bobo: I actually have a soft spot for hand done, not-so-perfectly straight frame boarders so yours I took to a little bit. But to be honest they might have been just a tad thick especially in contrast with the vast amount of negative space in them (I'll get to that in a sec). I also like the similarly done speech bubbles and I ALMOST want to say if your going to be doing so much stuff like that by hand maybe you should try lettering. But then again I don't know how neat your hand lettering is and if your doing this all digitally you might know what your doing sticking to typed words that are easy to read. It was mentioned before so i won't harp on it too badly but I feel you might have been going for some cinematic or kinda artsy panels when there's lots of negative space, but when its in the backgrounds THEMSELVES and not just between certian objects it makes the insides of the buildings those characters are in look like warehouses rather than just...houses. Tighten things up and make sure to use references of actual rooms and indoor spaces to get ideas for objects to place around in the background. Overall I like the feel your going for though and that's what I'm most excited about!

neens
Approval Committee
266 comments
# 21   Posted: Jan 7 2013, 12:40 PM
atomic! this was a cute read. I feel like you might be stylizing without having a firm grasp on anatomy. in general your figures aren't bad, but they need some work, most notably hands. on page 3 nyle looks as big, or maybe bigger than the gym teacher. but really, I thought it was a nice lil story!

bobo! I feel like there's just way too much empty space in your comic. more bgs. I really like the brushwork, though there are places where it looks rushed or sloppy. a tone or hatching or something would have really helped I think! the bg lines being as thick as the characters is a bit off putting as well. and those chunky panel borders.

Kinu
Artist
150 comments
# 20   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 08:53 PM
Atomic, I loved your portrayal of Murphy's Slaw. Oh man, yours was just really well done.  Looking forward to more.

Bobo, while it isn't your best, I do like your line variation. And your integration of the Goth duo was pretty nice as well. Can't wait to see some more marker/color work from ya.

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 19   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 07:38 PM
Yeah, I'm sorry for how this comic turned out. But I've learned from the experience and I know why it didn't work out, so  I'm looking forward to my next chance to make a Nyle comic, and I hope it can make up for where this one fell short. I lost sight of the process of discovering Nyle and his world, and tried to get on with the plot instead of letting it develop naturally. The next comic will be much better thought out. I'm glad you enjoyed it for what it was, though, and I'll take all of your advice into consideration for next time.

Rah
Artist
57 comments
# 18   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 05:24 PM
Atomic: I really liked this comic! The "real world" cameos were a really great idea and a few of them made me chuckle. Your story was stronger than the art here; although I like your bold cartoony style, I think in places it looks a little rushed. Maybe be a bit more careful how you lay your colours down sometimes. Also. as previously mentioned I'd definitely recommend working on your perspective and anatomy as in places they were off. In some parts it was also a little unclear what was happening, so try to keep an eye on that. Overall your pacing was good, but maybe an extra panel here and there to show transitions between one action and another might improve on the clarity. I really did enjoy the premise and outcome of this comic though :)

Bobo: First thing I noticed when I read this was how well you characterised the goth girls, it seems like you had a really good feel for their characters. I actually prefer how you portrayed them to Nyle in this comic. I agree with what ABI said; I thought there'd be a lot more mystery and intrigue with Nyle's Void-dreams, but instead he seems to know what's going on and be totally fine with it. He even has a house there all of a sudden. It just falls a little flat for me. And it took a long time for the action to kick in. I think you could have condensed the set-up considerably as not a lot happens in the first 6 pages. It picked up a lot after that, however, and I really enjoyed the second half, especially your style of humour. Other than that, I admire that you work in traditional and I love your style of inking, but your backgrounds were quite bare in places.

Tofubeast
Artist
254 comments
# 17   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 04:39 PM
Atomic: I really love your storytelling and your take on Nyle's world. ABI covered most of what I was going to say RE: your color shifts and perspective, so I'll just add that you managed to successfully convey the awkwardness and wish fullfilment fantasies of middle school.

Bobo: I'm not sure if you were pressed for time or were trying a different inking style, but this comic doesn't seem finished. The backgrounds and some of the figures look very rushed. Bit of a shame, but I hope to see more Nyle comics in the future.

A Bad Idea
Artist
320 comments
# 16   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 04:14 PM
Fish-Bearing-An-Atomic-Based-Adjective: This comic was a lovely and interesting read. The parallel between the real world characters and their Void City counterparts was brilliant, even down to the dynamic that their placement indicated (Murphy's Law, a gang of bullies, versus mostly non-combatants and one really nice Hawaiian guy). The color shift on page 8 was also well-executed and well-representative of Nyle's narcotic condition, which was established on page one when he's late for class. The framing on page 10 is creative and well-done, although I wish frame 1 would show more distinctly that it's a guy being grabbed by the creature's tongue. There are a few anatomy flubs (like Nyle's thumb being on the wrong place on page 5), but they didn't harm the comic too badly. Take care to tighten up your perspective in a few of those background shots to really create a gripping sense of depth. Otherwise, this is a very entertaining comic, and a fantastic interpretation of Nyle.

The-Man-Inconspicuously-Named-Bobo: I feel like you dropped the ball on this one. Not just the art, but Nyle's whole premise just seemed to fall into pieces within the first 3 pages. I always felt part of Nyle's intrigue was that Void was this big mystery to him that he only gets to experience in dreams, but now it just seems like he's fully aware of it and taking it all in stride, especially when Nyle just arbitrarily explains it all. The plot of this comic isn't very consistent, and the direction is just all over the place in a way that's more confusing than it is entertaining. The sequence between Nyle and Alice just seemed drawn out and didn't really build up to anything. Why was there a page-long sequence of walking to Nyle's room when they were just going to leave it on the very next page? The major conflict of the story isn't even introduced until page 6, and feels more like a non sequitir than an actual turning point, since nothing actually led up to it. The resolution of the conflict didn't really feel finite either, since it seemed more like Nyle tossed in Fluffy out of sheer randomness rather than having some motivation; deliberate choice, fear, or otherwise. Even at the conclusion, I don't feel like there's 'closure' of any kind because the status quo wasn't really being threatened. In the end I felt this comic was very ho-hum, and that you had many more interesting avenues to explore with Nyle that you didn't really pick up on this time. I'm hoping to see a stronger entry next time.

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 15   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 11:53 AM
HOLY CRAP fish that was so creepy! I love how you interpreted those VOID characters as people in the real world. I've been looking forward to how people use Nyle's premise, and this was really awesome and touching. Thanks for the awesome battle!

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 14   Posted: Jan 4 2013, 11:29 AM
XD Same exact number of pages!

Atomicfish
Artist
116 comments
# 13   Posted: Jan 3 2013, 09:59 AM
Uploaded! Thanks for the fight Bobo, I really want to see your side.

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 12   Posted: Jan 3 2013, 09:12 AM
UPLOADED. Sorry for the quality; I was getting really fed up with my brush pen, so I kind of rushed the last bit. Hope you still enjoy it! :)

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 11   Posted: Jan 1 2013, 09:23 AM
This is due Friday at midnight, right? I think I just might make it on time. :) No color this time, though, so I hope it still looks acceptable XD

EDIT: Wait, this is due tomorrow night at midnight. I think I'll still be able to make it. :)

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 10   Posted: Dec 29 2012, 06:47 PM
Well, I guess that means the balls in your court, HURRRRRRRR

Atomicfish
Artist
116 comments
# 9   Posted: Dec 29 2012, 12:22 PM
Do what you need to, Bobo. I know the holidays can get in the way.

Don't anticipate too much, my side is total balls.

Rah
Artist
57 comments
# 8   Posted: Dec 28 2012, 04:29 PM
I never mentioned how great I think this matchup is, I can't wait to see it!

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 7   Posted: Dec 28 2012, 03:36 PM
I'm probably gonna need an extension for this, but I'll do my best to finish it in time if I can. :)

Kozispoon
Artist
1206 comments
# 6   Posted: Dec 16 2012, 02:30 PM
All the match ups lately have been so interesting and this is no exception. I can't wait to see you guys bring it!

GPS-Device
Artist
124 comments
# 5   Posted: Dec 6 2012, 06:07 PM
Ah yeaaah!

Mister Kent
Artist
957 comments
# 4   Posted: Dec 6 2012, 04:44 PM
Wow! Can't wait!

Animeshen
Artist
1405 comments
# 3   Posted: Dec 6 2012, 01:41 PM
ALL OF MY YES

Atomicfish
Artist
116 comments
# 2   Posted: Dec 6 2012, 01:15 PM
I got the popcorn! :3

Jade★
Council
1080 comments
# 1   Posted: Dec 6 2012, 01:07 PM
SLUMBER PARTY!!!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 4 weeks
Ended: Jan 10th, 2013
Votes Cast: 31
Page Views: 1381
Winner: Atomicfish
 

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